My Crush On Him.

Chapter 37.

Recap:

Have you heard anything from Dylan lately?' He asks.

'N-no.' I shake my head.

No... this can't be.

'Dylan's murder.' He says.

All i see after this words is darkness, all i feel is me hitting the bed completely. I know Ian is calling my name but nothing seems clear anymore until the darkness takes over completely.

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'Chapter 37.'

Sometimes it feels better if you hadn't known something that you really wished you'd know first.
I wanted to know what is going on I really did but now that i know it's making me insane, no matter how hard i try i just can't get my head around it.
Shawn a Murderer? My Shawn? There's no way in any world that THAT would be true.
I don't know what to do or how to act or what to say.
Am I really in this? What am I doing? I'm so confused and hurt and unbelievably scarred.
It just can't be true, i know for a fact that he's not such a monster, but then again i really haven't heard from Dylan in such a long time. Which was good for me until Ian said what he said.

Life is weird, my life is a effing joke. Every time something good happens it has to get fucked up.
But this time it's even worse it's so bad.
I feel like I can't even handle the idea then what about actually dealing with it? I can't do anything.
I can't get out of my shock state... I can't face it and I can't decide what i want to do.

I've been avoiding Shawn like crazy for the last two days , I'm sure he knows something is wrong but he doesn't know what he tried to ask me but i just kept quiet.

That night after I passed out Apparently Ian called Ana because he didn't know how to get me home by himself, She was freaked out and demanded more than hundreds of times to know what has happened. She even attacked Ian thinking he's the reason for my condition, it took me a lot to calm her down when i was completely awake.

I haven't talked about this to anyone yet and I haven't even talked with Ian about this again.
I wanna make sure it's true , but I don't know how.
Like what would i do? I can't exactly Go to Shawn and say, Hey! Is it true that You're a drug dealer and your family's business is black marketing?
I can't do that and I don't know what the hell I should do. I've been crying like crazy but i got even tired of crying, I'm thinking about so many stuff and nothing adds up at the end.

If Dylan really is dead then why no one has told me?
Why isn't it on the news like crazy? If he's really that bad then why are Liam and all the guys are such good friends with him? Does that mean that they work with him too? I mean Stefan and Liam? Stefan is such a sweet person there's no way!! What if they were? Both Trina and Ana's hearts will be broken.
I just want to hit my head on the wall and pass out again... because there are so many questions and there's no answer at all.

This isn't even my thing to think of! I should be telling the police about this. I'm still too naive for this i mean I can't even cook how the hell can i handle this? I really can't.

I sigh heavily. I'm tired of thinking and repeating the same thoughts in my head hundreds of times.
I pick up my phone and Dial the one person that i trust blindly and i know for sure is up for some crazy shit.

After two rings she picks up.

'Heeeey bitch.!' She greets.

'Hi Trina.'

'You haven't called in forever, what's up?' I can feel her smile through the phone i swear.

'Well..... Trina i have a favor to ask you.' I pause for a moment. 'It's dangerous and I can't guarantee your safety and you can totally decline.'

'Calm down Sel, what is going on?' She says nervously.

'I need to follow Shawn to be sure of something and i need a partner with me.'

'What? Are you suspicious of him cheating on you?'

What? What cheating?? Ohhh! Ohh! Well that's a great idea. The less she knows the better anyway.

'Yes kinda.' I nod.

'That asshole!' She screams.

'Ouch my ear literally blew up.'

'Fine let's stalk that asshole but if he's cheating I'm the one planning the revenge plan.'

'Deal.' I agree to her suggestion.

'Okay when and where?' She asks.

'I don't know yet but I'll notify you as soon as i do.' I tell her.

'Okay then, talk to you then.' After answering her she hangs up the phone.

I sigh and look at my hands, am I really doing this?
How will this turn out? What if we got caught? I'd be putting Trina at risk as well. But I can't help it.
I have to make sure.

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A/N

Hey guys. I know y'all should hate me!
I haven't updated in sooo long and I'm so sorry.

Is there anyone still reading this?

Should i give it up once and for all?