Love Never Ends [Watty Awards 2012]

chapter 7: resparked feelings, correct the mistakes

chapter 7: resparked feelings, correct the mistakes

since that time i still continue to be a fool for johnny suddenly, Blake start to approach me again. this time i am sure that there is something different already. how he approached me, how he talk to me, how he takes my stuff so that i won't be having a hard time. i just all let it.

i went to malaysia to attend a conference and our church team will be functioning there as well. Blake is also included in the team. on the first day of their arrival i stayed with the team for a night since my parents will arrive after a couple of days. that time i was talking to him, he was in the boys room with bernard, one of the guy teammates who was also visually impaired, me, Blake and bernard were talking the whole time since the ladies were all fixing up for bed.

Bernard: "how are you joy? you came earlier than the rest of us?"

Me: "yeah i did, and i did not get bored here since auntie demi took care of me very well"

Blake: "were you able to sleep well ms. joy?"

Me: "yes i did, i slept in this big bed all by myself, it was all so comfortable, how i miss that bed since we always stay there whenever we are here"

Bernard: "how big was that bed anyway?"

Me: "it's a king size bed so i can roll over there the whole time"

suddenly i touched his hand, and i just asked "wow, your hand sure is not that rough for a guy" and Blake replied "not really, but your hand sure is soft for someone who is really busy the whole time"

"it's a secret why it's like that!" i smiled while he was just staring at me differently, with those cute eyes and such great smile.

suddenly while we are both looking at each other, his hand start to hold mine, interfingers and he hold it so sweet, i know that how he hold my hand was not normal, it tells of something. there was a meaning behind it. i looked at his face, and he was smiling at me, staring into my  eyes, i know even if he is partially visually impaired, he could still focus to what he is looking at, and i know he was looking right into my eyes. as i was looking at him, my heart started to beat fast and before i could know it, i was also smiling already, i had to go back in reality and let it go before anyone  could see us and i went back to our room where i will be sleeping that night

i was in bed that night looking at my hand, my hand was looking for his hand, i felt something different, i remember again those eyes that caught mine, those smiles and most especially now, it was the hand. it was the first time he held my hand like that. i fell asleep that night had so many questions in my head but i slept well.

the next day

"hi ms vista, were you able to sleep well?"

"yes, how about you?"

"yes i also did thank you very much"

"why are you of concern?"

"nothing  really, i'll justmake sure you are alright"

and again with his tone of voice with such concern, match it with his handsome smile.

i just smiled back, and felt a little butterflies on me and just said i have to go, lots of things to do. later that night, my brother and my bestfriend jessica arrived already so i transferred from the house to the hotel already. i did not tell jessica about it i just kept quiet. 

the conference started the next day and they transferred into the hotel already since their guide just arrived, it was Marlon whom we miss all the way from China. their room was just accross, i am with Jessica and one whom we don't know and in their room was Marlon, Bernard, Justin and Blake.

since they were just accross the room i kept on bugging them, maybe because i was looking for him since that night in the house where we stayed, maybe there'll be another chance i could hold his hand again. i kept on bugging them, coming in and out, which i hope they don't notice it. i did not know that Marlon already noticed it that whereever Blake was, i was there also. which i did not really 100% did it on intention.

one night, Marlon asked me somehow in front of Blake, "hey Joy, i have a question, what if Blake court you? will you let him" 

silently i wondered, again with the question, i just answered, this time in front of Blake, "hey you never know" and then he asked again "will you let him?" i seriously answered "yes" and then Marlon teased Blake. i thought to myself, maybe Blake told Marlon about something that's why he asked.

later that night they teased me that i kept on bugging them, i heard of it and i felt a little hurt, i sulked that time. so what i did i told them i will never enter their room again and then i just stayed in our room that time. not knowing the next day, Blake called (not knowing how) and asked, "Joy, please come to our room i want to talk to you" i just replied "you told me you don't want me there, so why should i go?" and he said again "i said please, now please come here" with my reply "no" i put the phone down. 

after a few minutes someone was knocking in our room door and i opened it, it was Blake, Jessica went out to talk to my brother so it was just me and him left talking and he sat on the hotel bed.

"are you still angry last night?"

i just kept quiet

and yet he persisted "Joy, please talk to me, are you still angry last night?"

". . ."

he sighed and then he said "i am sorry if we said that, you're not really bugging us, we love that you are going in our room it's not so boring at all, you kept us all entertained and the room is all alive and happy, joy, please i am sorry"

and then he went out of the room

my mind was like in confusion when he said that, only a few more days and we are going home already.  i messaged Johnny that time since we were still dating, i told him that within the next few days i will tell my parents that we are going  out, but all i get was a threat

"Joy, if you told them better yet let's all end this and never talk to me again"

so much confusion was left into myself and i let Jessica read the message, and asked me, "what will you do?"

the  truth is i don't really know, Blake had this sweetness again lately on me and i had random emotions on Johnny whom i always had tears mostly everyday since we dated.

i prayed about what i will do and i kept quiet on myself regarding my decisions. i told myself, if Johnny is like that, i'll give him few more weeks then if nothing good ever come out, i better end the relationship. i finalized my decision but i did not think of Blake that time but just for the good of me to be free from hurts, lies and foolishness. this time, my eyes was already opened. it was time for me to stop.