Deal With It

Avoiding Life

“Ally you have it wrong.” Jackson smiled charmingly. “Drake’s gone.”

“What?” She demanded turning to Jackson with a nerve racking glare.

“Drake left, Ally,” I intercepted. “He’s not coming back, he ran away from home.”

“It’s your fault, you bitch,” Ally growled at me, I didn’t bother with comebacks because I was responsible for Drake leaving.

“Chill, Ally,” Jackson said serious now. “Drake left because he wanted to, he had been planning to leave his house for longer than you can imagine.”

“Fuck you guys!” Ally stomped off but before she turned I could have sworn to have seen tears in her eyes.

“You knew he was planning this?” I exclaimed.

“Yeah.” He nodded looking at his watch. “And I have to go to work soon.”

“It’s lunch,” I growled.

“Well in about two to three hours I have to go to work.” He shrugged pathetically.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wondered exactly how long Drake had talked about this.

“None of us ever took him seriously.” He shrugged indifferent. “I mean, he had the life. Why run away, right? But one day I went over to his house and it so happened his parents were home and he was screamed at , it was one of the hardest things to go through to be accused of everything wrong in a household from your parents. And to be honest you never showed you cared about him.”

“So they were anything but good parents?” I frowned, ignoring that last part.

“They were anything but.” He smirked. “That’s when I understood that he was running away and no one could make him stay. Or so I thought but then he came one day saying that he met you and if he had someone like you he'd stay. Sure, we all knew you and the closest to you was Brandon who almost always chilled with you...so we were all for it.”

“You were going to use me to get Drake to stay?” I glared.

“When you put it that way it sounds like we used you.” He grinned.

“You did,” I growled.

“Well, maybe but it was for a good cause so it kinda cancels itself out right?” He offered. We paused, either way it hadn’t worked Drake had gone and we were left behind with the mere memories of him to accompany us for a short period of life I wondered what came next.

“What is happiness?” I asked suddenly.

“I’m not sure.” He sighed. “Something that always brings a smile to your face no matter what, something that would never hurt you, or so I figure.”

“Like candy and pizza?” I asked. “Or ice cream?”

“Are you saying you can’t have happiness with a person?” He caught on quick.

“Well, people make you hurt but candy, pizza, and ice cream don’t.”

“Liar.” He smiled as he looked up at the foggy sky. “Candy gives you toothaches and pizza and ice cream make you fat so then you get teased and so on unless you have a fast metabolism.”

“So it’d have to been things like sunshine or the sunset and stars or moonlight?” I offered, I could see that being my happiness or my pillow that my mom gave me. “Or a pillow?”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “But you're hiding yourself again, Cody.”

“Am not,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, you are.” He sighed. “There’s no helping it is there?”

“I’m going to my locker.” I left but I heard him chuckle behind me so I put on my earphones blasting music through them. The next few days I avoided Jamie then the day came when Brandon was back we hung out but nothing serious, we avoided the topic of Drake as much as we could but Jackson kept bringing it up, as well as bringing up Zack. Brandon’s eyes filled with something along the lines of guilt, hate, and hurt all when he heard Drake’s name in the mouth of people around school, mostly girls, or the mention of Zack’s absence and when he was coming back.

Jackson was hardly with us but when he was he hardly made it easy on us claiming we should get in touch with Zack and fuck his parents for taking him away, or that we should get a hold of Drake because he could easily fix everything. Nick hadn’t come back yet and I was getting worried but I felt the need to avoid the topic of Nick’s absence more than I ignored Drake and Zack because if I’d lost them then I would not be at all okay if I lost Nick too. Jackson being the douche he was brought it up as well knowing I was close to him, luckily or so I thought Brandon told him off one day and Jackson swore not to bring it up anymore but I could see it in his eyes, his was dying to mention it all.

********** Two Months Later

Nick hadn’t come back but I had this feeling I didn’t want to know what had happened so I kept putting it off and we hardly talked to Zack anymore, Drake was history and I was dealing with the end of the year. I was going to be a Junior and the rest of the guys were becoming Seniors, Zack was going to be sent to military school and we weren’t going to see him ever again, Jackson was still freaking about college money so he was always working. I pushed the thoughts out of my head as I walked down the hallways, Ally didn’t talk to me anymore but she made my life hell there wasn’t a day she wouldn’t tease me, call me a slut, or remind me that it was all my fault that Drake had left. I had gone to see that small boy Cody at the hospital one more time before he left he asked me where Drake was, I didn’t have an answer for him.

“Wait up, babe,” Brandon called, as he came up and kissed me. Oh, and me and Brandon began to date about a week ago, Jackson didn’t like it. He constantly reminded me that I wasn’t over Drake, and I wasn’t but he was over me and I had to carry on before I sent my entire high school life wondering if he was ever coming back. Jackson also pushed me to go see Nick, since he was the only one that had been there for me since my mother’s rehab thing, Jamie still beat me and I was still a cutter.

I was being constantly reminded of how Drake made me feel when he was here and it made my heart squeeze but I told myself I didn’t love him, he was…my past, nothing more. I had Brandon to be with and he was cute and nice, he liked me and I kind of liked him too, that was all I needed. Maybe I was avoiding my problems, sue me. Everyone else did it. Why am I not allowed to? I was dealing with it my way.

-Drake-

I was living on the road, it was the life right? I didn’t go to school, no parents to deal with, I did what I want when I want. So why the hell wasn’t I happy? Why did I miss my controlled life? Was it because my life wasn’t as controlled as I had thought? I mean Jackson had called me a few days ago to tell me that Zack was going to military school, Zack the guy who hated being serious and violence was being forced to go to military school. Jackson was going crazy about his college fund, and Cody was going out with Brandon, that last one made me think what the hell was I doing? I could be backpacking around Europe if I wanted to after graduation but here I was leaving my friends behind me, ditching Cody. Jackson had told me how Cody had bruises on her arms and stupid Brandon didn’t notice them, I had some issues going, it took me a whole fucking two months to figure out that I liked my life the way it was. Jackson had lied he didn’t know where I was to Cody and Brandon, like I had told him to.

What in the hell was I doing in New York? I belonged in Cali with my friends, I had to get back there and get Zack back, help Jackson out, and Cody, she could do what she wants but she wasn’t about to keep getting beaten. I would barely make it just before the last day of school but I had to get the group back the way it was at least just before we left our separate ways on graduation day. Besides we had always planned on going to the same college, hadn’t we? Well except Jackson but he was going to be close anyway since he wanted to stick by us there in L.A, I think that maybe, just a maybe here, it was time I went home.