Deal With It

Just Like Old Times

It was in about a week, one more week until we were out of here for summer vacation and I was wishing for summer to never come, being stuck in a house with Jamie wasn’t exactly a highlight of my life. I was in homeroom with my headphones on. I stared at the board it was plain but I was really zoning out thinking of that day when Drake had tapped my shoulder to convince me to go with him to the night club I had blown him off but in the end I had gone even when I had been waiting for a call from my mother. My mother hadn’t called me for about a whole month I’d called the rehab but they said she was refusing to talk to me, she must have been having a break down or something, I heard that after you’ve done drugs and you quit you start getting seizures and weird breakdowns. But I didn’t mind, when she’d first gone in she never called me until she was sober enough and realized who she was refusing to talk to. Every time she refused to talk to me my chest squeezed painfully like when I thought about Drake. Not that I’d ever admit that to anyone.

I heard the bell ring and walked out to bump into Brandon, he’s was nice and all but too clingy at times like he was afraid that in the end I’d tell him being with him was a waste of my time. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t tell him that because he’s put up with my zombie state since Drake left. He hugged me, I cringed he was touching the new wounds on my arms they were open wounds that had been bloody like the ones on my wrist. I had gone to see Doctor James lately, I had hanged out with the children in floor five they made me feel close to Drake and I had gone as a volunteer there to read to them and I’d bring them things like ‘get-well’ balloons or stuffed animals that would make them smile. Some got better and others would get worst and I’d do my best to make them happy, make them smile one last time. I only went once a week but I’d spent at least an hour with them, when I was with them no one outside knew where I was, maybe that made Brandon uneasy with me disappearing for a whole day once a week.

“What you thinking?” Brandon’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“You know.” I sighed. “Summer.”

“Sorry I can’t be here with you for summer.” He sighed. “My dad just really wants to take us out to go see the world, he’s afraid my grandmother won’t live for very long so we’re going to spend all summer with her in Europe.”

“No, that’s cool.” I smiled. “You should spend time with her…before you lose her.”

“Yeah, but I’m going to miss you.” He sighed as he held my hand, it felt weird. Not uncomfortable, but our hands didn’t fill well. Or I didn’t think so.

“I’ll miss you too,” I said, and I would. That wasn't a lie.

“We should go out tonight,” he said.

“Sure, where we going?” I asked, all too happy to be out of the house for a whole day, but Brandon still didn’t know much of anything of what happens in my life.

“Well, how about we go to the arcade hang out then we go eat at the pizza parlor right by it like we used to with the guys,” he offered.

“That sounds great.” I smiled remembering the day we all went to the arcade.

“Then I’ll pick you up at six.” He smiled.

“Cool,” I said, excited for his sake. “Okay, bye, I have to leave to class.”

“Alright, bye.” He kissed me, I kissed him back. It was warm.

I left in a rush since the late bell rang and I bumped into someone, falling back I winced at the pain that shot through me, I felt a hand come down to comfort me and froze thinking maybe just maybe it was him. But the touch was different because when I looked up it was Jackson.