Him

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I know it's been a while.
Been almost a month I think.
Too long since I've seen that smile.
But now i won't again.
Do you know why?
Why I won't see his smile, or even why
it hurts?

He won't be back.
Not coming back and won't tell me why.
Just another name for the stack.
He told me that we'd still talk.
And promised never to forget.
I'm starting to see that lie.

And if that was a lie,
It makes me think.
How many others slipped by?
If he first promised not to leave?
Then when he broke that promise,
Made another, with no intention to keep it.

If those were broken promises,
All the times he said he loved me,
Then held me, was he thinking opposites?
I think that's why it hurts so much.
Because I have convinced myself of this.
I have myself believing he never liked me at all.

My biggest fear is hatred.
Not by strangers though, I can deal with that.
No.
My biggest fear was hatred or disgust from my special people.
That's why it hurts so much.
He's fulfilled my biggest fear.

I was beginning to say that he is my David.
A musical reference which i doubt any of you will get,
But I am wrong.
He is not my David.
No.
I have become his David in some sorts.

He left.
I know this.
He's gone.
Get over it.
But I can't.
I can't forget him, and I can't forget the pain.

The one thing I promised never to do
Is the only thing that I currently wish to.
We both made a promise.
A promise to each other to "never forget."
He obviously has already
So... Why. Can't. I.

___________________________

Hey guys.

Its Jo. I just thought that I would post something. I don't know about this poem. I think it's pretty crappy, but whatever. It's late y'all and I should probably attempt to get some semblance of sleep tonight.

Love y'all.
Good night.

~ Jo

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