A Broken Heart

Not a poem

This is more a rant of frustrations.

So I was in an accident early this year. We were rear ended by a distracted driver. I suffered back and neck injuries that have mostly healed. But, I've noticed, and my family had too, that when I'm in a car with people driving, I get nervous. When people are 'too close' to the back bumper I constantly check the mirrors and tighten my seatbelt. When anyone brakes I tense and when someone slams on the brakes, I grab on to anything close by. At first I assumed that it would go away after a couple weeks, but the accident was in March. It's almost January. Another thing that I now find hard to do is sleep in the car. I had just woken up from everyone braking hard and was starting to go back to sleep when we were hit. I'm not too worried about the sleeping thing, but I am worried about the anxiety thing. I realized today that I'll be driving in a year or two and I don't know how this will affect that. I just, it makes me so upset and honestly, it kinda scares me. It scares me to think that I'll have to drive soon with these thoughts. I used to love the idea of me driving, but now, I don't even know that I want to learn how to drive. I just, it makes me so mad. This one person. One person texting behind the wheel can have such a big impact on someone's life. I am just so upset and angry. I don't even think I'm angry with anyone in particular, except maybe myself. I mean, I know people who have been in worse accidents than mine and they don't have any 'anxiety' or fear. I'm just fragile and my mind is stupid.

Thank y'all for reading this if you did. I just had to tell someone.