A Broken Heart

I Can See

I can see where this is going.
I can see what's happening.
I can see it, but do I truly believe it?
No.

I want so bad for it to be false.
Want so bad to be imagining it.
But I think that deep down I know the truth.
The truth about me and you.

I see the way this road is winding.
I see the destination on the map.
But I keep checking,
Keep hoping for a change.

I've seen this road travelled before.
It's the road I never wanted to end up      
        on.
The one they're at the end of.
The one that hurts the most.

I don't know what to believe anymore.
Could my eyes and heart deceive me?
Does my brain tell me the wrong
conclusion?
Do my emotions control my life?

What do I do now?
What do I say?
What do I decide?
What should I do?

Is this just causing me more harm?
Is this just adding to my level of stress?
Is it even worth it anymore?
Is the fire still a light?

The fire is dwindling.
Dying to an ember.
Soon, there will be but burnt and
unusable, useless coal.
Do I even have the will to feed the fire?

I can see the exhaustion, 
Every time I look in the mirror.
I can see the fake smile,
Every time I see the black phone
screen.

Is this what I want?
Is this more than I can take?
Is this my sign?
Can I truly see?

I thought I could.
I thought I had the vision of a hawk,
At least in this area, in this aspect.
But I was once again mistaken.

I can see.
I can see it all,
But will I choose to accept it?
Or will I just keep ignoring it?

______________________________________________________

A/N:

First I'd like to take a minute and recognize that I just wrote a 306 word poem in like 10 minutes.

Second, I'd like to say that this poem is just a bunch of nonsense that my half asleep brain put together and I will probably reread it tomorrow when I'm awake and be like "What were you thinking, Jo!!! That was literal crap!!!"

Third, there are some people I'd like to thank and give a shoutout to. First, my 3 real life best friends, SeveriSnape , I love you so much, Isa. You are always there for me and you have helped me a lot in the past few days. Soccerballlover , Little Blond, you are amazing and I love you so much. Thank you for being there in school when I need it. And finally, Galaxyflavored , thank you best friend, I love you so much. I hope you feel better soon. I miss you at school.
I have one more shoutout for my online friend that has been helping me a lot with the stuff that's been happening in my life right now. RealSeverusSnape , its Ric/Jo. Thank you for everything. You have been a big boost for me and I'm glad I met you.

If YOU are reading this, this means nothing. It is simply mindless rambling that I thought was semi-good and should be posted. Please don't take this the wrong way.

That is all I have to say. I know, it's long.

~Jo/Ric