A Broken Heart

Life and Loss

I've lost too many people.
Too many people I didn't get a chance to know.

I didn't get to meet my uncle.
I hear that he was a great kid.
I hear that he was smart.
I hear that he was strong.
But the Lightning took him from me.

I met my grandmother, I suppose,
But I was only a baby.
I never got to talk to her.
I never got to listen to stories of my mom.
I never got a single memory of her.
The sickness took her from me.

I knew my great grandmother,
But only for a short time.
I was too young when she died.
Too young to understand what was happening.
Too young to remember much about her.
Too young to say goodbye.
The age took her from me.

I got more time with my grandfather, I guess,
Big I never wanted to be around him.
He was horribly racist.
He was inappropriate for a child to be around.
He was a smoker and I couldn't stand that.
I got to say goodbye, but I regretted not really knowing him.
The cancer took him from me.

I know my 'step'-grandmother.
I never thought of her that way.
I never saw her as anything but my grandma.
I never cared that she was Pop's second wife.
Never cared that she was not as 'fun' as grandmother.
I never thought that.

They say that she's dying.
That the cancer and lung problems she has are killing her.
That the years of smoking are catching up to her.
And I may not get to say goodbye.

I've lost so many.
It's hard to not think of the hurt.
It's been less than a year since Pop died.
Now, Cookie is dying too?

What am I supposed to do?
This is my family.
These are the ones I love.
The ones I want to see.

Losing Pop almost broke me.
I can't loose Cookie so soon.
How will I be able to cope?
How will I stay in one piece?

More importantly,
Who will pick the pieces up when I break?
Who will be there on the days where I can't do it?
Who will catch me as I fall?

What if they aren't always there?
What if there's a day where I'm truly alone?
Then what?

Then, I break freely.
I will break.
I accept that.
Just, promise that you'll be there.

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A/N:

At the end of this poem, I ask who will be there for me and what would happen if they weren't there. I actually have a couple people I thought of when writing that part. I'm going to now post this and apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. I was almost asleep when this came to me and I typed it up on my phone.

I also have been ill the last few days and am therefore exhausted, so with that I will get my much-needed sleep.

Goodnight Everyone.
~ Jo