ME: Lost

Paranoia

Shepard jerked her harness off and slid out of the geth fighter before the cargo bay doors finished closing behind them. Kaidan scrambled out after her, jogging behind with Tali as the commander's footsteps thudded angrily against the concrete.

"Shepard," Tali's voice quivered slightly, "wait! What are you going to do?"

The red-head swung around to face her, eyes flashing, "I'm going to deal with our guests," the helmet in her hands sailed across the room, faceplate splintering as it crashed into the wall, "the ones who blasted a ship out from under us!"

"Deal with them how? I'm sure they thought they were making the right decision, protecting the fleet-" the quarian's words died in her throat, choking off in fear, and Kaidan threw himself between them just as the commander shoved a glowing fist towards her. His arms wrapped around Shepard's shoulders and he wrestled her backwards, dragging her into the lift.

"Wait here, Tali," his strained expression brooked no argument as he fumbled around with his elbow to activate the elevator doors.

"What the hell is going on!" His voice thundered in the small area, as soon as they were moving.

Shepard shoved him off, twisting violently to slam a fist into the wall.

"They were trying to kill us! They wanted me dead!"

"Of course the geth wanted you dead!"

"No!" her voice shook with emotion, "the quarians, they're working with the reapers! They wanted me dead so the reapers would win!"

"What!" Kaidan cried, concern tugging at his mind.

"I saw it, what they wanted, all of us dead...blood everywhere!" Her hands trembled as she pressed them to her side.

"Shepard, listen to me, the quarians aren't working with the reapers. They simply panicked when they saw the shields go down."

She shook her head desperately, "no, no, you didn't see it. They showed me!"

He stepped towards her, gently capturing her hands in his and pressing them to his chest, "I'm fine, Tali's fine, you're fine. We're safe." He placed a hand on her cheek, brushing the matted hair from her eyes with his thumb, "the quarians are our allies, they simply made a mistake."

The tension in Jae's shoulders relaxed, and the fear seemed to fade from her eyes as a dark flush crept over her face.

"I'm so sorry, Kaidan, I don't know what came over me. I just, I don't know, panicked, I guess."

He smiled tightly, faced creased with exhaustion, "do you want me to come with you to confront the admirals?"

"No, I'm fine, go get your gear cleaned up."

<><><>

Kaidan and Liara huddled around the doctor's desk as she scanned her console screen.

"When did you first start noticing the change?" Chakwas asked, pulling up a time stamp search.

"The strain has been wearing on her for the last couple months," the asari spoke up, "but the first obvious change was the last encounter on the Citadel."

"It's getting worse very quickly," Kaidan added, "paranoia, uncontrolled anger, mood swings. When we were on the dreadnought, she was impecable. Efficient, calm, everything we expect of her leadership - but then we were separated. When she scrambled through that door into the geth docking bay, she was an entirely different person."

"There," the doctor tapped her screen, "biometric readings from Shepard's helmet during the cerberus attack on the Citadel. Look at the brain scans." She traced a finger down the wavy lines, "she's relatively calm, focused, lots of little spikes that could be attributed to the amount of adrenaline experienced during battle. But look at this - a sudden, massive surge in brain activity."

"We saw a horrible sight," Liara squinted in distaste as she recalled the experience, "could that change be caused by sudden anger or distress?"

"I don't think so. The sensor picked up a large spike in her heart rate right before, that's most likely what you're referring to. This is different, abnormal. I'm afraid I'm not completely qualified to diagnose something like this."

Kaidan frowned, "we can't just ignore it. Should I alert Admiral Hackett?"

Doctor Chakwas shook her head slowly, "I believe that would be premature, major. I'll continue to research this, please keep me updated of any increasingly unusual behavior."