The Edge of Reality

Chapter 30: Two Steps Back, One Forward

The move into this new house was a blur of meeting my new roommates, carrying in a few bags with Audra, and going grocery shopping with Lela. After the buzz all died down, I found myself alone in a small, empty room. No bed, no dresser- just me and a few piles of bags. I explored the house a little bit, but it was oddly quiet and everyone spent most of the time in their rooms, so I didn't try to make myself at home outside of my designated room. I'd filled the small kitchen with groceries, as they didn't have any, and given them a check for my share of the rent that month; I didn't know how to join the lease. I didn't know what I had expected of the situation, but I started thinking I'd made a mistake when I realized how isolating it was. I slept on the floor for a few days, before Naham surprised me and brought a bed over in his truck. It was a simple gesture, but seemed to be a symbol for things picking back up. The room gradually gained more life as I filled it up, and Audra and Lela were reaching out to me more to spend time with them. I had three friends, but that was just enough because the more my room became my own, the more time I spent with them. There was a lot of music, a lot of driving, and a lot of drugs but no day was ever dull for the rest of that Summer and even into The Rains. The days came and went quickly, work and volunteering pushed to the side of my mind as I always looked for chances to spend with my friends. This was a new chapter for me, and I was excited to have gained this new independance. This was my next step to making it on my own.

Education was another big focus I started looking into that Summer. I'd gotten Naham's advice in enrolling at the university, and had decided to go for an undecided major. I didn't really know what I wanted to do in life besides volunteer, but I knew that this would at least be a good basis. The two of us went down to the school itself to get me set up, and before I knew it I would be an official college student at the end of The Rains. Unfortunately, my car had started to get too old- who knows how long Valtura had it before it fell to me- and it wouldn't run anymore. My roommate and friend I had vaguely known before, revealed a bit of his personality to me when he found out. Apparently he was a skilled mechanic, and spent several hours in the driveway with me working on the vehicle. In the end, he couldn't salvage the car, but we'd had a great conversation. He had been struggling for a home just like me, when he found the other people in the house and was invited in. It was a great arrangement because splitting rent so many ways made it minimal, but he claimed that the others could be very dramatic sometimes. I had noticed occasionally yelling and door slamming in the house, sometimes finding things broken when I went to the kitchen for food, but never thought much of it. After that point, I started noticing it more but trying to turn my head- I didn't want the living situation to become uncomfortable.

When Autumn came nigh, I had my first day at the University. I'd switched my hours at work to part time, and sometimes on the weekends to make ends meet, and started taking the bus to college every morning instead. It was a long commute- about two hours there, and then at least an hour home from work every night. Naham took me sometimes when he could, but his school schedule was different so he couldn't always support me there. University signaled the end of the Summer for me, and thus the end of the bliss. Audra and Lela never left the picture entirely, but they were around much less. I still saw Audra at the cafe constantly, but our time spent together outside of work was less, probably because of my schedule. Lela started fading out from my life slowly, in a metaphorical sense. During the Summer I hadn't felt anything strange from her- it was just me and Lela, best friends in all cheesiness of the phrase. The last few times I'd seen her, however, I felt Des in her aura and it sickened me. I would have still kept spending time with her every day, but she was clearly busy with other things... other people. Even her responses to my texts and calls were limited, and I feared I would lose her altogether. Naham was the only person I could rely on consistently for companionship, but even then it was hard for us to spend time together amidst the business of life- especially with my car out of the picture. Surprisingly, I started getting closer to my roommate, even spending time in each other's rooms on a frequent basis. We would often drink, as he always seemed to have a bottle of something around, and simply watch TV. Never anything exciting, but it was a small comfort to slow down my days doing this with him outside of the rest of the stress. Meanwhile, the other half of the house collapsed around us. Yelling was constant, sometimes one of them would burst into the room for no reason, just to talk or complain. After a while it seemed like they didn't even have normal sleeping hours, as they seemed to be up all the time. Time with my roommate seemed a refuge from them, both clearly insane at this point. I wasn't afraid when I was with him, but his intentions were far from pure. It only took a few weeks for me to realize he was trying to get into my pants. After he realized I knew, he was no longer subtle in trying to make passes and advances on me. It made me really uncomfortable, but I was too nice to tell him off, so he used that to his advantage and tried to guilt me. I couldn't tell Naham about it, because I wasn't sure how he'd react to it and didn't have any other place to stay. I tried to start spending my time at home alone with my door locked, ignoring texts from my roommate and the screaming from around the house; I always locked my door.

Despite how intense everything was at home, University was an enjoyable experience. It was the first chance I'd had to experience a formal education, and my professors were more inspiring than I could ever dream of. I got to know some of my classmates a little bit, but never enough to become close. Maybe it was a subconscious thing- I'd lost most of the people I'd gotten close to. Work was also going well, and I found it to be as busy as ever but even more of a refuge than before. It was the only place that had remained the same throughout my life, even many of the same people were still there, and there was a melancholy feeling to working there. So much had happened in that little establishment- or maybe I should say so much had happened while I was working there. It was as peaceful and warm as the first day I'd gone in with Murtvika, but when I looked around all I saw were the ghosts of what I'd lost. Everyone I'd ever cared about had been in here before, and the people I had left I could count on one hand. Uma saw through my smiles to the customers and knew how sad I was. She never talked to me about it directly, but she always made efforts to talk to me and make sure I was doing okay. I didn't want to at first, but I started getting pretty close to her, almost as though she were my guardian figure. She listened to my problems and gave me advice, and I always returned the warmth that she gave to me. I was terrified of losing her, but I knew that there was no point in fearing that because I had her right now, and I loved her.