SIX FEET UNDER THE STARS

02 - I just wanna run, throw it away

Chapter 2 - Alex

I met Jack in my freshman year. Some senior guy pushed me intentionally and I dropped all my books. Jack helped me pick them up. So cliche, I know. But his kindness and a positive vibe, willing to help me, that's what I kinda fell for. After that, I just talked to him about school stuff, nothing much really. I only told Zack about it, my crush, as he called it. I honestly doubt Jack is into guys. Hot girls throw themselves at him all the time. He used to date the hottest chick on campus. Stella Anderson. She broke up with him, left him for another guy. He was a bit lifeless for a while, but I suppose he got back on track, he sure looked like that. Lately I've seen him hanging out with Ashlee, some blondie, two years younger.

I met Zack in the classroom.
''Hey man, lookin' good.'' He greeted me and shook my hand.
''You too and thanks. Yeah, I feel great.'' I replied.
''Smiling I see, any special reason?''
I just kept quiet but he already knew what this was about.

''Alex...''
''What?'' It was obvious, also, I was probably blushing a bit.
''Spill it.'' He said.
''Oh, alright. I ran into Jack in the hallway.''
''Alex...''
''Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't get your hopes up.''
''Right. Don't want to see you get hurt again.''
''I know, Zack. I really appreciate it, remember that. But Jack has never really hurt me...''
''Not yet, at least.''
''Can't I be his friend?'' He won't hurt me if we're friends.
''Maybe that's not the best idea.''
We were interrupted by our History teacher, Miss Weathers. I opened my notebook when he passed by me and took a seat in the second row. My mouth widened and a smile appeared on my face. Zack looked at me and I read his lips. They said no. I wiped the smirk off my face and started paying attention to Miss Weathers, that was talking about Napoleon Bonaparte. Le sigh.

I was walking down the hallway, trying to be invisible. Yes. Keep doing that Alex, look down, don't look at anyone, don't acknowledge them, then they'll leave you alone. I was thinking that to myself as I was looking for my locker.

''Look at that geek-o. Hey, you!'' I heard a voice say. I wasn't gonna turn around, but I didn't know he actually meant me. So I turned around.
''Me?'' I whispered.
''Yeah, you. Wanna come hang with us?'' He asked me. Later on I found out he's a senior. Very good looking, but a classic jock surrounded with cheerleaders. He had blonde hair and was very buff, probably some quarterback. I was very naive back then.
''Really?'' I asked, full of hope to be accepted at least once in my pathetic life.
''Yeah.'' He replied and hand gestured me to come over there. As I was walking, one of them pushed me and I fell to the floor. My books were everywhere. I looked up and saw James, the jock ''leader''. Everyone was laughing.
''Not really asshole. Do you really think I'd let you hang out with us? Look at you! Loser.'' He said. Then they turned around and marched down the hallway in all their popularity. I was just lying on the floor when Jack approached me.
''Here.'' He said and started picking up my books, handing them to me.
''Thank you.'' I replied.
''Don't worry, they're the assholes, not you.''
''Yeah... Doesn't make me less of a loser.''
''You're not a loser, trust me.'' He said and smiled. ''Jack.'' He said and offered a hand.
''Alex. Nice to meet you and thanks again.''
''Likewise and no problem. I'll see you around, take care.'' He said and walked on.
I will never forget that day and Jack's words along with that beautiful sincere smile - ''You're not a loser, trust me.''

I thought about that event every once in a while, wondering what if. There were a lot of what ifs. Maybe if I said something else or acted right, things would be different now. Maybe we would be friends. At least that. But then I remembered what Zack said. Never expect anything and you will never be disappointed. And I didn't. I didn't expect anything from Jack. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt me a little sometime.

[ credit for the title goes to: The Downtown Fiction ]