SIX FEET UNDER THE STARS

04 - Ain't it fun, living in the real world

Chapter 4 – Alex

''Alex, what are you doing?'' Zack said when I joined him.
''What? Oh that. It's nothing.''
''What did he say?''
''If I can help him with Algebra.'' No big deal.
''And you said no, right?''
''Oh come on Zack, you gotta cut me some slack. I'm a helper, it's just Algebra.'' I struggled with him sometimes, but I knew he only had the best intentions.
''I don't want to bitch like a little girl, but you gotta understand. You've been all crushy on him for 3 years. At least think about it.''
''Alright...''
But there was nothing to think about. This was a perfect excuse to spend some time with Jack. I mean I'm a senior and this might be my last chance.

I texted Jack after school
Me: Hey, it's Alex. Contact me when you want to start. See ya!
He replied within minutes.
Jack: Hey, thanks. What are doing today at 6?
Me: Nothing much, we can meet up. Do you have both workbooks?
Jack: No tutoring, just hanging out. Text me the address, I'll pick you up.
Me: It's 65 Mayfield Terrace. You me at six? :)
Right after I pressed send, I bit my tongue. What did I just write? He probably won't get it.
Jack: Haha, yess, like that band. Good one. See you :P''
He got it. Yes!

I have to admit I was pretty nervous. I've never hung out with him like that and I didn't know what to expect. That sometimes makes my anxiety pop out, especially with unpredictable people.
What should I wear? How should I style my hair? Maybe I should wear a snapback or a beanie, I don't know. This was all new for me, I never really bothered with styling or outfits, so yeah, you get the picture.
I was running around the room, looking for my grey t-shirt I bought the other day. It was a classic v-neck. I picked out jeans, darker shade of grey and red Allstars. That should do it. It would go great with the red hoodie Zack bought me.
After sitting on my bed, almost chewing off my fingers, I heard a car pull up in our driveway. I looked out the window and it was Jack, honking a horn, waving at me. And so I went.

''Aloha!'' He greeted me when I took a seat in his car.
''Hey.'' I replied.
''All set?'' I nodded. He pointed on the clock. It was 6pm sharp.
''You me at six.'' He said and put his sunglasses on. I laughed when we drove off.
''So, where are we going?'' I asked.
''Hmm, try guessing.''
''I don't know, I'm really bad at guessing and I barely go out.''
''You like hot chocolate?''
''Like? More like love.'' I giggled. Yes Alex, bravo... act like a little girl. I turned purple, not red.
''Your smile is so adorable. Don't be embarrassed.'' He said. I didn't reply, I just blushed more. Oh jesus, what's wrong with me.
''We are going to the place with the best hot chocolate stash in the city.''
''Yay!''

I felt so strange, like I've been hanging out with him for years. Like he was my best friend. I was so comfortable around him, even though I was blushing like crazy. But that's just me being shy. Jack is caring and kind and he gave out this vibe, that helped me lose myself and step out of my comfort zone.
We took a seat in the corner and ordered. I had a regular hot chocolate with cinnamon and he had a white one with almonds.
''So, You Me At Six. You like them?''
''Mhm, they're one of my favs. You?''
''Oh yeah, rock music gets me going. What's your favorite band?'' He asked.
''That would be Blink 182. They have been since I was a kid.''
''Shut up! Have you been stalking me?'' He joked.
''Nooo, why?''
''Because I freaking love Blink. Me and my dad used to play their music when I was little.''
Wow, we really do have quite something in common.
''That's great. My dad actually gives guitar lessons, he's a professional musician.''
''So rad, you're lucky, remember that.'' His face expression changed, but I couldn't really figure out what was going on behind that.
''Why did you stop playing?'' I asked.
''I didn't stop. Just my dad. He was going through some, uhm, crisis.'' I was already sorry I asked that question. I could see he was a bit uncomfortable talking about it.
''Don't bother, it's alright. I understand. So what else do you like to do?'' I changed the subject.
''Hmm, let's see... I love music, but besides that, I write. All kinds of stuff, poetry and songs mostly. How bout you?''
''That's cool, you could show me a poem sometime, if you want to, of course. I'd love to read it.''
''Alright, but only if you play or/and sing to me sometime.'' Oh no, I was expecting that.
''Oh, I don't really know...''
''No, no, I insist. I bet you're awesome. Let's do it like this... I bring the lyrics and you can intepret them. How bout that?'' I wasn't really thrilled, but then I remembered –last chance.
''Ok, sure... what the hell. You're gonna be the only one hearing it anways, I have stage fright.''
''No worries, I'll be your audience.'' He grinned.

We talked for 3 hours straight. I found out a lot about him. I mean I knew most of this stuff before, but not from his point of view. He told me how he likes to play the guitar, that we like the same music, he told me about Stella and Ashlee, a bit bout his parents and school. All that just confirmed how right I was about him. And I dove deeper. I almost told him about my sexual preference, but I didn't wanna rush it. It'll come with time and I don't wanna scare him away, because you know how most guys react when you tell them you're bi/gay. They're afraid of you hitting on them. If you ask me, that's stupid and they flatter themselves way too much. I did tell Jack a bit about my family. I told him about music and art, how much it means to me and also a little about my recent change.
He was very understanding. Like I said, I only dove deeper. After he paid for the chocolate, he gave me a ride home. I promised that next time, it's my treat.

''Thanks for a nice evening Jack and don't forget, next time it's my treat.'' I said.
''No problem, thank you for being a good listener and for agreeing to tutor me.''
''Anytime. See you at school tomorrow.'' I said and stepped out of the car.
''See ya, good night.'' He said and winked at me.
''Good night.'' I replied and waved at him. When he drove off, I just stood there in the driveway. This was such a nice evening and I was afraid I would fall into him too fast.

But I felt great, honestly. This was just a cherry on top of a fantastic year of change. I went to sleep happy, looking forward to seeing Jack, because now I actually talk to him.

Before I dozed off, I got a text. I thought it was Zack, but I was wrong. It was from Jack.
It said: You left your hoodie in my car. If it's not too late, I can drop it off?
I replied: Sure, I can wait. When did you have in mind exactly?
He then wrote: In 10min?
I just replied ok, then I put my sweatpants on and a shirt I usually sleep in. He was there in less than 10 minutes.
''Hey.'' I said when he pulled up in my driveway. ''It could wait until tomorrow you know.''
''Nah, it's no problem, really. Here.'' He said and handed me the hoodie.
''Thanks.'' I said and put it on so I wouldn't have to hold it.

''Listen, Alex...'' he started, ''I really appreciate you listening to my shit, I had an awesome time. If you wanna do this again sometime, just know I'm up for it.'' He said.
Was he hitting on me? This was very weird.
''No problemo Jack, I was happy to do it. And sure, we can get together again, no tutoring, just chilling.'' I replied.
''Ok. Good night Lex.''
''Good night.''

He just gave me a nickname, sweet. I've never had one before. He drove off and I returned to bed. I was confused. I mean I've met guys before and even though I've only been with one or two, I know how they act around you if they like you. Jack was acting like something in between. And it confused me. If confused me a lot. But a smile never disappeared from my face. 

[ credit for the title goes to: Paramore ]