SIX FEET UNDER THE STARS

09 - Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head

Sorry it's kinda short but I didn't want to rewrite, I'd rather focus on continuing it better ;) Enjoy! :)

Chapter 9 – Jack

Confusion is my middle name right now. That dream, well I'm not even sure if it was really a dream, but never mind, because nothing feels weird with Alex. People are always saying that you can't understand these feelings until you meet a person that shows them to you. Like I said, I don't have anything against anyone, if they're gay and it makes them happy, so be it. I'm no one to judge. I have a few friends I occasionally hang out and they're gay. I've never felt uncomfortable around them I just haven't really thought about me heading in that direction. But then I started hanging out with Alex and we did tons of stuff I've never considered fun or have done before. Like ice skating or baking. I actually thought it was all pretty cheesy and boring, honestly. Alex just made everything so much better, it's like he has been giving me those nitro boosters you get in that Need For Speed game, just that mine were used for better living and motivation to do things. Even Algebra is fun when he tutors me. I'm not really sure what these feelings towards him are, but I know that I care for him very much and I consider him my best friend (including Rian, I can't really forget Rian, he's my bitch). And that guitar he bought me, like whaaaat, never in a million years I would've thought someone was crazy enough to buy me that kinda of a gift.

It was Christmas eve and I was getting ready to pick up Alex, it's the night of the show. I picked out my black button-up shirt and black jeans. It all goes great with my leather jacket.
I quickly fixed my hair, threw one my Nikes and headed out. After I pulled up, I saw Alex already waiting for me at the driveway, looking good and his face, well it was like a little kid's face when he finds out that he's going to Disneyland.
''Heey!'' He said when he was sitting on my passenger seat, buckling his seatbelt.
''Hey. So, what's up, you excited?''
''You have no idea.'' He replied with a huge smile on his face.
''You look great!'' We both said at the same time. Then we looked at each other and laughed.
''Thanks, you too.'' I thanked and he nodded.
''Well, let's go, they're not gonna wait for us.'' I said and we drove off.

The concert was amazing, really! They played all the hits and we were both singing along, jumping, just having a heck of a good time. I had the best time of my life so far, Alex was so happy I thought he was going to explode at times, he was like this little energy ball, jumping up and down. After the concert he kept hugging me and we decided to grab some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

''Thank you so much Jack, this was the best gift ever!'' He said and looked into my eyes. Like I said, energy woof! It was so adorable.
''No problem, it really was a blast, we should do it more often, what do you say?''
''Definitely!'' He said and put his hand over my shoulder.
''No really Jack, I know I've said thanks like a thousand times, but truly, you have given me the best gift ever.'' We stopped for a second. His eyes were shining, just like the time when we were laying on the floor in his room. And that's when all the other things just disappeared from my sight and my head, except for Alex. I just grabbed him and kissed him right there, in front of everyone.
''W-what was that?'' He asked, but there was a little smile on his face, I could see it. Maybe he was a little scared, but so was I.
''It was the truth I guess, I don't know.''
''Truth?''
''It felt like the right thing to do.'' I said.
He didn't say a word, because he knew he wouldn't get any explanations. He just held my hand and we continued walking to this hot chocolate place.

It was cold outside, but it wasn't the hot chocolate that was keeping me warm, it was Alex, holding my hand, talking about everything I could possibly want to talk about.
What is this? What are we going to do? I wasn't even close to those kind of thoughts. I was seizing and enjoying the moment, the perfect Christmas eve.

[ credit for the title goes to: Blink182 ]