Me, Myself and Him (a gravity falls fanfiction)

New Styles

"Good morning Dipdop!"

I turned over, "go back to sleep Mabel."

"But Dipper!" Mabel whined.

"Go away Shooting star. Demons are nocturnal." Bill agreed with me.

"But Biiillllll." Mabel said.

It was quiet for a long time, but just when we let our guard down a very large, very wet amount of water was dropped onto us.

"Dammit!" In a split second I had teleported to the ceiling, sitting on the rafters, dripping wet.

"Hahahahaha!" Mabel laughed, a newly empty bucket in her hands.

"Oh very funny Mabel." I sighed. "Shooting star has a death wish." Bill muttered, swinging off the rafters and landing on the floor, on my feet.

"You... Haha... Looked so.... Hahahaha! Funny!" Mabel gasped.

"Great. Now I'm wet." I said, taking back control.

"Great. Who knows how long you've been wearing those clothes." Mabel said, holding her nose as she looked me up and down.

I looked at my black shirt and pants, "what's wrong with my clothes?"

"No offence Dipper, but black on black? When exactly did you decide to turn goth?"

"I'm not goth. I'm just... I lived in the forest OK? No one exactly commented on my clothing." I folded my arms.

"Well then time to change it up! Here! I got you your old clothes, I'm sure you'll still fit in them." Mabel said, holding out a blue vest, orange shirt and shorts.

"Wow! You kept these? - no dice Shooting Star. I am not wearing that." Bill took over.

Bill! I complained.

"Why not?" Mabel asked.

"You're seriously asking me why I don't wanna wear a sleeveless puffy vest? I have some taste. Do you got any bow ties? - I am not wearing a bowtie Bill!"

I realised I was arguing aloud and bit my lip, looking at Mabel worriedly. She was looking at us with interest, "go on." She said, seeing we had stopped.

"Uh... This doesn't freak you out...?" I asked.

"Oh, this freaks me out plenty. But I can't do anything about it so I'm just gonna have to roll with the weirdness." Mabel said cheerfully, putting my old clothes on my bed. "But... If neither of you can decide on a style... Then you're gonna have to come up with a new one! Do you know what that means?"

"You leave me alone and I go back to wearing black?" I asked hopefully.

"MAKEOVERS!" Mabel screamed excitedly.

And so then ten minutes later I stood in my old clothes, looking at myself in the mirror. "OK so this is Dipper's style." Mabel said, scribbling something down on a notepad.

And a further fifteen minutes and a raid of Grunkle Stan's closet later, I stood in a yellow dovetailed waistcoat with a white dress shirt underneath and black suit pants and dress shoes, a black bowtie around my neck and a top hat on my head. "Ooh yes, very stylish." Bill said, examining his reflection while I died inside.

"And that is Bill's style." Mabel said, scribbling in her notepad. "Well, seeing as neither of you have much taste when it comes to clothes, "she said, throwing the notepad over her shoulder.

"Hey!" Bill and I said in unison.

"I'm gonna have to start from scratch." Mabel finished.

And then, thirty minutes and a broken glue gun later, I stood in front of the mirror again. Smiling. I had my blue cap on again, and it felt right on my head, and also hid most of my blond hair. Along with it I wore a white long sleeved shirt under a black short sleeved shirt, and over it all a light blue hoodie. I wore normal blue jeans with sneakers now too.

"I ... Actually kinda like it." I said to Mabel. She sighed, holding up the hot pink, glittery sweater she had made for me in under twenty minutes (neither Bill or I could figure out how she had pulled that off). Both of us had refused it and I'd found these in the back of the closet instead.

"There isn't any yellow though." Bill whined. Mabel pulled a face, "we can't put yellow in though. It would clash with the blue, and the whole outfits blue."

"Maybe we should go shopping today Pine tree." Bill said. Stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You're not going anywhere Bill."

Mabel and Bill looked up, surprised to see Ford leaning against the door. He didn't look too happy, and Bill instantly pushed me forwards.

Coward.

It certainly seems that way.

"Uh, hey Grunkle Ford." I said quietly.

"Neither of you are allowed to leave this shack without either me or Stanley with you, it's not safe." Ford said.

"Please Grunkle Ford, I can look after myself-" I protested.

"I'm not hearing anything of it. You're staying here. And while the Shack is open you're not allowed downstairs, Dipper. Now, breakfast will be ready in five minutes. And then I want you coming downstairs with me, I need to run a few tests on you and Bill." Ford said. And then he closed the door and we heard him walking away.

"Tests? I don't like the sound of that." I said worriedly.

"Oh relax Dipstick, it'll be fine. Like a doctor's appointment." I said, then paused, "OK. Maybe not. But maybe Grunkle Ford'll give you a lollipop if you're good?"

"I don't think Sixer is gonna be giving me any gifts any time soon." Bill laughed, I let him switch over reluctantly.

"Oh... Right..." Mabel frowned.

"Hey... Wanna see something cool?" Bill asked Mabel.

Bill...? What are you doing? Don't freak her out! I panicked.

Relax 'Dipstick'.

"...What exactly are you going to show me?" Mabel asked warily.

"...Fairies." Bill whispered.

Bill! No! Bad idea! You know what'll happen if-

"Wait. Fairies? As in the magical winged creatures that grant wishes? Ohmygodyescanwegonowiwanttogonowpleaseplease!" Mabel squealed at an impossible frequency, jumping up and down.

"Well then M'lady, shall we get going?" Bill hesitated, "let's take the back route, don't want sixer spoiling our fun now do we?"

"Grappling hook!" Mabel announced, pulling it out from under her pillow and swinging open the triangular window. She shot it into the trees and grabbed me, and we were pulled out into the treeline.

OK guys I'm sorry if this chapter is a little silly. I'm trying to get the whole Gravity Falls feel, and this was more or less a filler chapter while we wait for the Government to arrive. (Mwahahaha!) Bysies! And remember the universe is a hologram reality is an illusion buy gold BYE! *Disappears in a puff of smoke.*

Muse: oh my god I can't believe you used that cliche.

Me:*pokes head out from behind curtain* shut up Muse!

Muse:I can't believe you're resorting to magic tricks to keep your readers entertained.

Me:well if someone did their job right then I wouldn't have to!

Muse: WHAT!? I DO MORE WORK THAN YOU! YOU LAZY ANIME-OBSESSED NERD!

Me:okgottagonowbye! *Runs away while Muse chases her with a gun sword*