Me, Myself and Him (a gravity falls fanfiction)

A Badly Kept Secret

Mabel glanced at me excitedly before knocking on the door. I pulled down my hood nervously. I really wasn't sure if I wanted to  do this.

You won't be the one explaining everything.

I've already done it. Stop complaining.

Sheesh. I just can't catch a break with you guys.

"Hey Mabel! I was gonna call, I haven't seen you since the party!" Pacifica swung open the door. She looked different. Her clothes didn't look as flashy as they had a year ago. And she didn't wear as much makeup now. Her hair had grown out, her fringe now long enough to rake at her eyelashes.

"Hey Paz!" Mabel smiled.

"Wow, you look better, and who's this?" Pacifica asked, seeming to notice me for the first time.

"Well..." Mabel grinned and stepped back, so she was next to me. "Paz, I'd like you to meet my old bestest buddy ... Dipper!" Mabel announced, pulling down my hoodie.

Pacifica gasped and stumbled back. I rubbed the back of my head, "Erm... Hey Pacifica."

"Oh my gosh! Dipper!" Pacifica screamed. The next thing I knew she had swing her arms around me, and now she was crying. More tears.

If we had collected every single tear over us in the past year there'd enough to make a lake.

No jokes, Bill.

"How are you alive? Why haven't you told anyone? Where did you go? Why are you blond?" Pacifica asked, pulling away from me.

"Well. It's actually a really good question. Can we go inside before anyone sees me?" I asked.

"Well... OK. Erm. Just a heads up though. I actually have Candy and Grenda here too so-"

"No! They're not on the Zodiac. We said only on the Zodiac Mabel!" I turned to her.

"Whelp, we're here now!" She laughed and pulled me inside. Pacifica closing the door behind us.

"My parents aren't here. Lucky for you guys. My Dad's had to start using his Criminal and International Law Degree for the first time. He's working on a case. My mom's at the spar. Getting the 'Poor person's deluxe'." Pacifica said.

"Hey Paz!" A voice that founded like a professional wrestler's roared from upstairs.

"Hey Grenda! Candy! Get down here!" Mabel called. I panicked and tried to bolt to the next room, but Mabel grabbed me. Thundering footsteps and high pitched giggles sounded on the stairs.

I desperately tried to pull, and actually got free, but Pacifica held my other hand and I tripped, falling on the floor. Mabel promptly sat on me.

"Mabel!" Came two simultaneous yells, and Candy and Grenda appeared at the top of the stairs.

I shut my eyes and waited for their reaction.

"Ooh! Mabel, you fox! Who's the hottie?" Grenda asked.

I think I quite literally felt a small piece of myself die on the inside.

"Ew!" Me and Mabel said simultaneously.

"Mabel get offa me!" I protested.

"Wait... Mabel, is that..." Candy gasped.

"No way... Dipper!?" Grenda yelled.

"We thought you were dead!" They gasped.

"You're blond!" Candy gaped.

Mabel got off of me and I sighed, standing up and straightening my shirt. I scratched the back of my head nervously. "Yep. Here I am." I smiled.

Can I come out now?

Uh... How do you think they'll take it?

Only one way to find out!

Wait, hold on-

Bill pushed me aside and cleared my throat. "OK then, I'm sure you meatsacks have a quite a few questions, but please hold them all until I sit down," he turned to Pacifica, "hey Blondie, do you have anywhere we can sit?"

"Erm... Dipper? Why are you acting like that? W-We're your friends. Right?" Candy asked. Apparently having gotten over the shock quicker than Grenda, who was still staring speechless at us.

"Its a long story. Now. Sitting, Llama?" Bill repeated.

"Bill, don't be rude!" Mabel nudged us.

"Wait... Bill?" Pacifica repeated, stepping back.

There was a loud snapping sound as Grenda tore off a piece of the banister. "Get out of my friend's brother you crazy demon!"

"Wowowowoow! Guys! Guys! Its OK! Its Dipper! ... And its also... Kinda Bill." Mabel ran in front of me, holding her hands up.

"Mabel, you can't keep using yourself as a human shield for me." I protested.

"...Dipper?" Pacifica asked hesitantly.

"Erm. Yeah. Can we all just sit down please. It's Bill's turn to explain things so... He kinda wants to come out now." I said. Realising how very weird the sentence was.

"...uh... Sure..." Pacifica blinked, looking dazed, and walked into the next room. Grenda, Candy, Mabel and I following her.

Bill managed to get control as we walked through the door. He yawned and sat down on the nearest Sofa. We were in what looked like the TV room. A huge flat screen hung up on the wall with several Sofas and Chairs arranged around the room. Bill crossed his legs and leaned back. Mabel sat next to Bill while the others sat down around us awkwardly.

"Alright then. I suppose we'll have to go back to that little attempt I had at ruling the world..." Bill began.

***

Marcus had gotten a message from the Captain. He had notified the branch leaders and the Governments Private Protection Unit. He had just gotten the clearance. The team would be here in less than twenty Four Hours.

The news made Marcus Smile. He looked over what he had researched. Such a tremendous breakthrough, in little under three hours.

On the screen in front of him was the Pines Family tree. Two of them were legally dead. A Mr Stanley Pines and a Young Michael Pines. Twin of Mabel Pines, the niece.

The hair colour was different, but it was no denying it. This was the boy the girl had appeared with.

So, two dead twins. There had to be a connection. A system. Perhaps a cult of some sorts. Twins ran in the family. So perhaps this was an old family custom. A ritual of some sorts. Marcus was willing to believe that the blue flames were some kind of black magic. If they were, then perhaps there was something in the family that wasn't being told.

Whatever it was. In twenty four hours he will have the boy and the girl, the entire Pines Family. And then there will be answers.

This would be the quickest and most successful case of Marcus' career. And it would make him famous. He would finally prove himself to his father. And finally gain some status in the Branch. He was looking forward to it.