Me, Myself and Him (a gravity falls fanfiction)

Double Trouble and an Angry Uncle

"what did I tell you?" Ford asked. "What did I tell you not to do?" He didn't let us answer, "I thought you would want to protect your own brother Mabel! But no, not ten minutes after I forbid you to leave the house you're gone!" He tched, rubbing his temples. "Where exactly did you go?"

"Erm... To see fairies... They didn't really like Dipper..." I said.

"No wonder. The fairies have a bad history with demons. Especially after the Queen's daughter was crippled by one called Alcor a few months ago. A friend of yours perhaps Bill?" Ford glared at Dipper.

"Wait... Alcor... That was what the Queen lady called you!" I said, turning to Dipper. He gulped.

"Alcor? Wait..." Ford frowned.

"Well, it's actually a funny story... You see, Erm, A-Alcor Cipher is the name... Well it's actually the name that... Well, it's kinda my name now." Dipper said. Not looking us in the eye.

"Wait... What?" I shrieked.

"I mean... It's the name the creatures of Gravity Falls gave me. I... Erm... - We have quite a reputation here believe it or not." Bill said smugly.

"Alcor... I should have guessed. I got suspicious when the word demon was mentioned." Ford growled.

"Aw Sixer. Why can't you be happy for us? We're pretty much famous in the Gravity Falls supernatural networks!"

Ford Muttered something under his breath. Then left.

I turned to Dipper, "so, where exactly did the name 'Aaalllcooorrr' come from?"

"Erm, I honestly have no idea." Dipper laughed.

Moments later Ford rushed back up the stairs. "Kids! We have... Visitors."

"Ooh! Visitors? Really?" I squealed.

"No. Not the good kind of visitors." Ford glanced at Dipper, "we have Agents snooping around again."

"Wait what?" Me and Dipper exclaimed.

"But I thought their memories were erased after you got out of the portal!" Dipper said.

"Yes. Dipper, Bill, I assume you can turn invisible?" Ford rose an eyebrow.

"Erm, well yeah. But it's exhausting. And we may have used up a bit too much magic already." Dipper said sheepishly.

"I don't care. They must not find you at all costs. Stanley sent me here when he saw them pulling up into the driveway. That man, he can spot a government vehicle from miles away." Ford trailed off, then snapped back to reality, "ah! Sorry, anyway. There is a risk that they might do a sweep of the house, if so, then Mabel, as far as you are concerned, you are an only child. Bill, hide in any way possible, magic is allowed. I need to get my inventions and Stanley's forged notes and hide them. Mabel come with me!"

And with that Ford bolted out of the room. I glanced behind me at Dipper and followed him.

It took ten seconds to stow away the illegal stuff, Ford had installed a secret safe space in every single room, they were made out of some weird shiny black stuff that seemed to glow. Ford said the black stuff blocked off any surveillance equipment, making it impossible to find without sticking your hand into it.

We then headed downstairs to find Stan in his suit and eye patch, trying to stop the Agents from coming into our house.

"Come on Officers! This is my home! Employees only! You can't come in here! Where's your warrant!" Stan yelled.

"Mr Pines! Please be reasonable. If you continue like this it will be in our rights to arrest you for assaulting a federal Agent and Obstruction of Justice!"

(LOL all those crime and Law series I watch are actually paying off!)

"OK! Stanley! It's fine! You can let them in!" Ford called. Stan sighed in relief when he saw us and stopped pushing against the chest of the officer.

There were two of them. One was wearing a well-tailored suit, and was small and skinny, with too-big glasses and mousey brown hair, and had a suitcase at his side. The other, while also in a suit, was huge! He looked like one of those Photoshopped bodybuilders in fitness magazines, his blond hair was shaven on his head, letting only a bit of stubble like through. He had a sloping forehead like a caveman and fists the size of small bowling balls.

"Ah, are you the owner of this place?" The small guy asked Ford.

"Yes. Yes I am." Ford said.

"So you are a Mister Stanford Pines? Owner of this establishment? Then who is this gentleman?" The man asked him.

"Ahem. I am Stanley Pines, his brother." Stan said. Glaring at the big man.

"Really?..." The man with glasses muttered, and then coughed and straightened his tie, "my name is Agent Colman and this is Agent Springer, we are here concerning an incident eight and a half months ago,"

"Oh... Really? Wasn't it like a meteor shower or something...?" Stan said nervously.

"That is classified," Colman pushed up his glasses, "but as your brother has stated, I actually do have a warrant to search this premises, signed by a Sheriff Blubbs of Gravity Falls."

Colman pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to Ford. He scanned it and his jaw clenched. He handed the paper back to Colman, "right this way sir." He said, walking into the living room. Colman followed him, Springer actually had to turn slightly to fit through the doorway. Stan and I followed them.

"So I trust that it's just the three of you living here?" Colman asked, he took out a weird little flat box, like an iPhone, he walked around, the machine making a few small beeps and boops.

"Well, usually it's just my Brother and I, but our Great Niece Mabel is with us for the summer." Ford said guardedly.

"And was she here last year?" Colman asked.

"Yes actually." Ford said.

"Hmmm..." Colman tapped the machine's screen. "Alright. Next room."

We went through the kitchen, the museum, the giftshop (where we all held our breath in case the basement was found, but the machine past by it without it reacting). And then we moved upstairs to Soos' old break room that Ford had converted back into his own bedroom, Stan's room, and then finally...

"And where do you sleep?" Colman asked me kindly.

"In the attic." I said hesitantly.

"Could you show me?" He asked.

I nodded and ran to the door. I opened it slowly, giving Dipper time to turn himself invisible or whatever he was doing to hide, and then peeked my head over the side of the door. Perfect. It looked empty.

"Here." I opened the door wide for the Agents. Colman searched the room. Frowning at the two unmade beds.

"I thought you said you stayed here alone?" He looked at me.

"Oh! I was just having a sleepover with... Wendy! She's the cashier girl who would totally back up my story if you asked because she owes me a favour." I said quickly.

"Alright then," Colman seemed satisfied, and then pointed his machine up to the ceiling.

And it began to give off a very loud whine.