All I Need Is You (A Series of Joe Sugg Imagines)

To Have or To Hold

This chapter deals with self-harm and other subject matter. Read if you think you are "ready".
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You wake up before Joe. You check your phone and there is a whole bunch of negative messages towards you; almost all because of your relationship with Joe.

This has been happening for weeks but you don't tell Joe because
1) you don't want him to worry about you
2) you don't want him to do anything because you think people will hate you more

You quietly get out of bed and go into the bathroom. You lock the door behind you.

You stare at yourself in the mirror. You look through some of the comments on your phone saying:

Who is that??? She's fat!

Joe doesn't deserve that hoe! Aha that rhymed!

What's her problem?!!? I would totally be a better girlfriend towards Joe than her.

I'm waiting for Joe to come out as gay with Caspar so she is hurt even more.

(Authors Note: Again, if you are sensitive around this subject, please do yourself a favour and don't read it.)

Tears well up in your eyes. This has been happening for too long. You open the cupboard and find a razor. In the package there are also extra blades that aren't attached to a razor.

You carefully take one out and hold in in your hand.

Breathing slowly, you lower the blade to your wrist. One, two, three. You make the cuts on your wrist.

You let the blood drip down your wrist, past your palm and your fingertips. A small pool of blood forms itself in the sink.

You carefully clean up the blood from your wrist as the cuts scar over.

You put your arm across your waist and exit the bathroom. You hurry out to grab your sweater from the drawer.

Joe is awake.
"Good morning Y/N." He says to you.
"Hi." You say, still looking for the sweater.
"What were you doing in there? Cutting yourself?!" He says jokingly.

You find your sweater just as he says that. You glare at him, then rushing out to the kitchen forgetting about the sweater.

You hear Joe quickly jump out of bed and go into the bathroom. Silence. Then you hear him rushing out to the kitchen.

You are standing at the counter, arms wrapped around your waist, trying to hide the scars.

"Come on,"Joe whispered sneaking up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you in close. "Y/N, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." You whisper back, trying not to cry.
"No it's not. I shouldn't have made fun of that." Joe says, you can tell he feels bad by the tone of his voice.
"It's fine." You say even though when most girls say they're fine, they usually aren't.

"Why though?" Joe asked.
You hand him your phone. He scrolls through it, his eyes getting bigger and bigger.
"Y/N I'm so sorry." He says. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry." You explain.

"This is something to worry about."

"Am I good enough for you?" You ask him.

"Always." He says. The reassurance from him always helps your confidence. "Hey, don't let what they say get to you. You are beautiful, pretty, smart, and everything else I could ever want. That's why I asked you to be my girlfriend."

"Okay." You say. As much as him saying that helps you, you still feel sick to your stomach about what happened.

"Here. You know what, let's go to the beach. You like the beach. Right?"

"Ya I guess so." You say.
"You still want to go out with me even though I cut myself?" You ask with a small voice.

"I love you for who you are. No matter what." He reassures you. You smile.

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A/N:
This is a repost of a previous part. It had started glitching but here it is again.
Anyways, Feel free to comment, vote, follow and share! If I'm notified I'll check out your account!