Window

13.

Sweat trickled down her skin, her hands sliding up and down the railings. Her eyes fell to her feet, watching as each time she stepped up, another step appeared. Step after step, Emma kept moving, her thighs burning in protest. 

Her lungs begged for oxygen, her face flushed as her body forced itself to keep walking upwards. The stairclimber wasn't her favorite machine, but it certainly worked her hard. 

"Hello?" Charlotte asked, her voice breathy from where she climbed her own, slower set of stairs. Emma blinked her wide eyes, glancing over at Charlotte. "Did you hear me?" 

"No" Emma panted, shaking her head before wiping the sweat from her forehead with her forearm. "I must've zoned out. What'd you say?" she asked, feeling a little bit bad for spacing out. It wasn't the first time today.

Charlotte's eyes narrowed on her friend, her lips pursed in thought. With each step, her long braid of brown hair swung side to side, adding to the rhythmic motion. "I was just saying, I wonder if we'll see the creepy headphones guy here." Charlotte repeated slowly. "Hey, what's on your mind? You seem off today" she commented before taking a swig of her water. 

Emma huffed a large breath, gripping the railings tighter as her legs began to tremble from exhaustion. "I'm just a little worried is all" Emma breathed, reaching up to tighten her ponytail. 

Eyebrows drawing together, Charlotte asked, "Worried about the doctor's appointment, or worried about Dean going M.I.A. for two days?" 

Hearing Charlotte repeat her worries only made her heart race faster, a long breath escaping Emma. "Both. Especially the latter. You think he's alright, don't you?" Emma wondered, trying to suppress the suffocating feeling that the anxiety brought on. 

Charlotte rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she lowered the speed on her machine. "Emma, he's probably perfectly fine. He's a teenage boy, who's probably off doing something stupid. I don't understand why you think something bad's happened to him" Charlotte explained, grabbing the towel that hung on the top of machine before running it over her face. 

Emma sighed softly, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess you're right. It's just- last time I talked to him it seemed like he was over that kind of stuff. I guess I'm just over thinking it. I'll just let it go" Emma said with a convincing smile, suppressing the worry that fluttered relentlessly in her stomach.

"Good. Because our half hour of stair climber is just about over, and I need your head in the game, because it's leg day my friend" Charlotte joked, glancing over at Emma who smiled back, portraying a look of similar excitement. 

There was nothing like hundreds of squats to distract you from your problems, the ones that refused to be silenced.

...

Tears stung Emma's eyes, a shaky breath escaping her. The four walls of the cubic room seemed to grow closer together, the sterile smell of the hospital making her stomach churn. Staring down at her trembling, clasped hands, she breathed, "So that's it then?" 

Dr. Holleran nodded slowly, laying down his folder on the counter. Crossing his arms over his narrow chest, he set Emma with a sympathetic stare. "It stinks kid. I.B.S. is an incurable chronic disease. Some people just get stuck with it. And unfortunately, that happens to be you." he explained with a weak shrug of his boney shoulders. 

Emma slumped forward, pinching the bridge of her nose as she did all she could not to cry. "So this is it? It's never gonna go away? It's never gonna get better?" Emma whispered, her voice cracking as tears threatened to spill from her eyes which were trained on the floor. 

A sad sigh escaped the young doctor who pressed his lips together in a tight line. "It's never going to go away, no. But with time, you can figure it out. You'll learn what works with your stomach, and what doesn't. And hopefully, your stress management will improve as you get older" Dr. Holleran offered with an attempt at a comforting smile. 

"Learn to deal with it. That's basically what you're saying?" Emma asked ruefully, straightening up as she stared at the man who had never had to suffer what she was going through. It was easy for him to say deal with it when he'd never experienced the pain. 

"I'm sorry Emma, I wish there was more I could do for you." Dr. Holleran said somberly, casting his hazel eyes on the ground. 

Nodding slowly, Emma looked to the window that only showed an overcast sky that hung dully over the town. The sterile scent was making her sick, the white floor and identical white walls making her skin grow hot. The room was slowly suffocating, and she decided that she couldn't take it any longer. 

Emma stood up quickly, grabbing her bag before slinging it over her shoulder. "Well thanks anyways. Have a good day" Emma muttered darkly before pushing through the door, back into the hospital. 

She looked down at her hands, watching them tremble violently. Tears finally slipped from her eyes, running down her cheeks. All she could see in front of her was a life of pain, a life of strict, careful eating, a life that revolved around an incurable illness. 

Her throat burned from holding back sobs, her stomach churning as the panic of the diagnosis began to set in. No cure. No treatment. No answer. Just more of the same. 

Walking briskly through the hospital, Emma bitterly wiped the tears from her face. Her tan boots slapped against the tiled floor, her black cardigan fluttering behind her as she resisted the urge to run. 

Soon enough, she arrived at the waiting room. Her wide eyes searched for her mother's face, but the worn brown eyes, caramel colored hair and tan skin were no where to be found. The panic in Emma's chest only swelled, a shaky breath escaped her along with more tears. 

"Emma!"

Emma turned to the sound of her name, spotting Lanny and Zack rising from where they had been seated. The smiles diminished from their faces at the sight of her, their eyes growing wide. Jogging forward, the twins were soon in front of her, watching her with careful eyes. 

"Where's mom? She said she'd be here" Emma sniffled, trying to stop the tears from being discovered by her brothers, although they were impossible to hide. 

"She said something really important came up at work, and that she'd be home tonight to talk with you. She sent us to pick you up instead" Lanny explained slowly, his cloudy brown eyes running over his sister's tear stained face. 

Nodding, Emma casted her eyes to the ground where she tried to pull herself together. Zack shifted from foot to foot, sharing a worried glance with Lanny who was thinking the same thing. "What did the doctor say?" Zack breathed, his quiet voice shattering the silence. 

As if a dam had broken, sobs slipped through Emma's lips, the despair finally breaking free. Lanny stepped forwards, immediately wrapping his little sister in his arms. Her shoulders shook against him, her cries muffled by his baggy, grey sweatshirt. He didn't know what the diagnosis was, but he knew it wasn't good. 

Zack took a step forward, wrapping his arms around the two of them. The sound of Emma's cries made his heart ache, a somber sadness settling over him. It was like he could feel her pain, and the fear that ran through her veins. And it broke his heart. 

"It's okay Emma" Zack muttered quietly, rubbing circles on her back which shuttered with each sob. 

Lanny nodded, squeezing her tightly to let her know that she was safe. "We're right here. We'll figure it out, together. You don't have to do it alone. Promise" Lanny soothed, rocking her gently back and forth. 

"Promise" Zack chimed in, knowing that he'd give her one of his own organs if that was what it took to make her feel better. Deep inside, he knew it wasn't as simple as that. But he wished it was. He wished there was something he could do for her, something to make her better. But for the moment, all he could do was be there. 

Emma nodded, her sobs dying down to soft whimpers as her arms wrapped around her brothers, gripping onto them tightly. With her life spinning around her, she needed something to hold onto. And her brothers were there, just like they'd promised.