Born To Fly

Nineteen--Forever Changed

Nineteen

As the seventh hour passed I sat down in the corner of my room; the lights were off and the sun had gone down. My room was quiet and everything was dark. And I wrapped my arms around my knees. My door opened and I didn't pick my head up. I couldn't move; because of my utter depression, and because I had been sitting in the same position for so long.

"Alice?" I closed my eyes. It was my mother; if Joel was alive he would have come up the stairs and he would have gotten me from my room. Tears slid down my cheeks and she walked over to me and knelt in front of me.

"Darling, you need to have your own wounds looked at." She went to touch me and I shrunk away.

    "Alice...come on....you don't want them to get infected." She touched the top of my head and I shook her hand off.

"I just need to be alone right now."

               "Alright." She pressed a kiss to the back of my head and shut the door on her way out. I felt stuck in the dark; Joel...his name hurt my heart...to think about his face or how it felt when he kissed me. I found that I couldn't breath; my chest was too tight. I dropped me knees and laid down on the floor, the moon was like a spot light on my body. The moon had always offered me comfort; but now I was completely hollow. He saved me; protected me from his father. Joel was gone. I got up and I walked downstairs, and Randy was performing CPR. Trying to get his heart started again and in the choas no one noticed me come into the room. I walked over to Joel's head and I kissed his cheek. Whispering into his ear. And Randy shot him with what I guess was adreneline, and gave him a sharp hit to the chest. I brushed his hair away from his face and a tear slipped down and hit his forehead, and he surged to life. My knees gave out, and Nick caught me from hitting the ground.

"Whoa Bailey, you alright?" I nodded and stood leaning against the wall and I saw Joel look for me. I reached over and I touched his shoulder. His eyes found mine and there was just so much emotion. He was sorry he left me, and he didn't want to leave again. My mother saw me and put her arm around me leading me into the living room; I resisted for a moment and trying to stay next to him. I wanted to protect him from being hurt further. Reason argued that he was among friends, but I looked to my father. He would have to go through me to touch him before he was fully healed that is. Ally looked over my wounds, I needed a few stitches, but nothing serious. 

A few hours later everything calmed down and they moved Joel up to his room and they wouldn't let me see him. I didn't understand why, but they wouldn't. After everyone went to be, my father taped me in my room. So that if I left and came back they would know. I walked out of my room aound 2:30 and I taped my room back up. I had no intention of going back into my room. I walked down to Joel's room, and the moment I walked in he woke up.

"I hoped you wouldn't listen." He sat up and I basically floated over to him. I knelt beside his bed and pushed him back down. He didn't need to get anymor injuries.

"Joel we need to talk about why you ran..."

   "My father was going to use me...that's why I ran."

"I wouldn't never have let him anywhere near you." He ran a hand over my face and I turned my chin and pressed my lips against his palm.

"You can't protect me Bailey, i'm supposed to protect you."

   "I can protect myself."

"You shouldn't have to. It is my job....as your boyfriend...or was my job." The last part he mumbled and I nearly didn't catch it.

"Was?" I looked at him confused, I didn't remember having a conversation about breaking anything up.

"Yea...i assumed that you wouldn't want--"