Refusing Love

1. Mistakes

We all make mistakes that shape us. You can love them or hate them, they are what made you become you today. I'm talking about the mistakes that really made you rethink your intelligence. The ones that made you doubt yourself and believe all those voices inside your head, telling you you're really not worth it.
I have wept and have cried, I have screamed and been left heartbroken. But, after all of that, I woke up the next morning with a new resolution. I will never let a boy dictate my fait.

~ It turned out to be a sunny day for a change. Which was good considering I had a party to go to. It was one of those outdoor, near the lake things. The only reason I was going to it was because my best friend, Caroline asked me. I wasn't really in the mood for a party. All I wanted was to read this book and keep Bonnie some company. 
Bonnie Taylor was a patient at the Sky Hill Central Hospital. She was 73 years old, although she never gives her real age and she had had three heart-attacks so far. Her daughter finally agreed to place her here.

Sky Hill Central Hospital was the place where I worked an hour each day. It wasn't much really, I just helped my cousin, who turned out to be a highly positioned doctor in this facility. I just helped her around, exchanged some papers, sent a cookie or two to the patients and stuff. Alison was like the bright star of the family. She was beautiful and intelligent, to put it in a more simpler way, she was all the things I wasn't. Honsetly, I didn't really care.
"Why are you sticking around this place? Go meet some friends." Bonnie suggested. 
"In a minute." I said not taking my look off of the book. I wanted to get up this couch but it was really comfy. Plus my position was right on the clock. It's one of the reasons why I visited her so often. And because Bonnie had a collection of old movies she kept ever since she was young. Well yeah and because she was the nicest person in this place. Mostly the last one.
I heard the door slide open and a pair of heels clicking against the white marvel floor. 
"You're still here?" asked a familiar female voice. "Yeah, yeah i'll go soon." I said still looking at the book. "I don't understand this girl either. Do you have any idea what I'd do if I was as young as you? The parties I'd go on? The boys I'd date?" Bonnie said waving her arms. 
With a sigh I closed the book and stood up. "Yes, yes but you're not. You have to stay in this bed with tubes attached to your body." I said leaning my hip against her bed. She had bright blue eyes, the only thing that hasn't lost to time, unlike her body. 
"Living the vida locca, alright!" she scoffed in anger. 
"You have to get home, Charlie. Now." Alison demanded. 
I folded my arms. "Uuuh, look at you being bosy and all." I half smiled. She rolled her eyes. Bonnie started laughing. "It's okay, we know you mean business, darling. No need for that attitude with us." I said pointing at me and Bonnie. 
"Charlie, don't make me say it again." she let out a deep breath. With a thought, I rushed to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. "Great this again." she looked at me with a bored glare. "Do you feel in charge?" I asked with the worst man voice ever.
"Stop, please." She pushed my hand away. "Oh, come on, you loved that Bane guy as much as i did." I scoffed. "No." she protested then swallowed. "I loved Tom Hardy." she whispered. I started laughing. "We all do, cos." I winked. 
"Anyway, how are you feeling today Bonnie?" Alison asked looking at her clipboard. "I'm fine thanks to the not-asked-for attention." she looked at me.
"Love you too, Bon-Bon." I gave her thumbs up. 
Alison wrote something on her clipboard then faced Bonnie. "You have visitors." She smiled and Bonnie clapped twice. "Good, good. Did you by any chance see Julian?" Bonnie asked as enthusiastically as someone her age could.
"No, i talked to your daughter. She said he was coming home this evening." Alison said with a sad face.
"Oh, it's okay. Let the youngsters travel and live before they lose their teeth and all their dignity." she waved her hands in a whatever-way. Her words made both me and Alison smile. 
"See you tomorrow, Bonnie." I kissed her forehead. She waved goodbye with a smile.

Around 9 pm my phone started ringing. It was Caroline telling me she and Brad were already at the party. Brad was her boyfriend and my best friend. See, I kind of introduced them and they hit it off. They were really perfect for each other. 
I wore blue jeans, a white shirt, my black leather jacket and a pair of boots. After putting some quick mascara and perfume on, I hit the road. 
The lake wasn't far away from my house. Sky Hill was a small town with gossip flying all around. The Dimor Lake was always the party location for every Skyhill High student. The numbers of people that had loved, kissed, hugged, danced, puked on that lake was huge.
As soon as I got near it, I could already hear the music banging. Every generation had that one kid that knew their way around music, ours was Jenna. 
As soon as I got there, I walked to her. She was in her element with those headphones on and rolling that thing. Her equipment was placed on the terrace of the only house near the lake. The rest danced on the grass. 
"What's up, baby?" she screamed bumping my fist. "Looking good, Jenna." I smiled. She blew me a kiss and I was off to find my friends.
I saw Caroline and Brad sitting at one of the cut down trees. When I get close to them I heard a word.
"I'd love that." said Caroline. 
"And I'd love some of this." I said grabbing her red cup and taking a sip. "Took you long enough." Caroline sulked as I pushed them to make myself a seat. "Sorry, didn't know what to wear." I said taking another sip and letting the burning sensation crawl down my throat.
"You don't even care what you wear." She half smiled. "Sometimes." I protested pointing a finger at her.
"I want to introduce you guys with someone." Brad said. "Uhh, is it a girl?" I teased. Caroline shoved me a little. "Shut up." 
"Nope, he's my old friend." Brad corrected me with a smile. "I bet he's like one of those guys that seem nice at first but once you get to know them they are actually very awfull." I said. "Uh, and they are a secret fan of One Direction." I added with a half smile. They both let out a laugh.
"Actually, that's not how I am at all." said a voice behind me. Brad held back a chuckle as he stood up. Me and Caroline followed. 
"And i don't even know what One Direction is?" the voice added. I took a look at this tall boy with brown hair and eyes that glimmered way too much. His smile revealed a one-side dimple and his lips had the shape of a wave. He was very and I mean very, pleasing to the eye.
"Charlie, Caroline meet my friend, Julian." Brad introduced him.
His name sounded awfully familiar.