At Central Perk (Everyone)
M- Oh hey what's this Ethan?
E- It's the poster to my World War 1 movie! Oh and look Rated R! I'm not for children!
S- Wow so cool!
E- Oh and guess what? I got tickets so I can take all of you!
A- Well obviously I won't be able to come, for those of you that haven't checked their calendars today's my due date!
S- Yay!
A- Well I just wanted to say thank you to you guys. I really couldn't have done it without you. And honestly I'm gonna miss being pregnant.
One week later (Amy is still pregnant)
A- that's right. Still no baby!
*A couple looks at Amy*
A- Oh I'm sorry am I ruining your precious coffee time. Oh please everyone make some room.
M- Sweetie maybe you'd be more comfortable in the chair.
A- You. *Looks at Mark* Like you haven't done enough.
M- I know how miserable you are I wish there was something I could do I wish I was a seahorse.
A- *Looks at Mark*
M- B-Because the Seahorses carry the babies.
A- *Looks at Mark pissed*
M- Also I'd be far away in the sea.
A- *Gestures everyone to move over* Ugh I've never been so uncomfortable in my life.
S- Yea. I know I remember towards the end I-
A- Oh that's a great story Signe but can you tell me that while your getting me some iced tea.
S- Sure.
A- Ugh. Get out. Get out! Get out! *Yells at stomach*
J- Lets.
*All leave*
At Marzia/Felix's place
A- Ugh
J- Hey did ya have the baby yet?
A- Do you want me to come over there and sit on you cause I'll do it.
Ma- Why you here so early?
A- They sent me home. They were like "Start your maternity leave early, get ready for the baby!" Well you know what screw em! They don't want me there I'll just hang out with you guys.
S- Or you could do volunteer work.
E- Aw man. Now I only have one ticket so I have to pick between you four and Mark.
A- Well what about me.
E- I thought you said you didn't wanna go.
A- I don't but I would still like to be included. What just because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible?
E- Definitely not invisible.
1 hour later (boys left)
A- I have to pee if I don't come out in 2 minutes it's because I chocked to death on the pooperi stink.
S- When she comes out you hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid will just pop right out of her.
Ma- She's over a week late she's gonna have it tomorrow right?
S- No I think it's still gonna be a while.
Ma- Care to make it interesting?
S- Sure
Ma- I bet you she had the baby by this time tomorrow.
S- Your on.
Ma- Ok how much?
S- $100,000
Ma- How about $50?
S- Fine I'll call Zerac to move some money around.
A- Ok who's turn is it to help me get up?!
S- *Clears throat* No ones here! Oh dammit!
The next day
S- Oh Marzia Amy's here!
A- Yup.
S- And your still pregnant? But you look great!
A- Thanks.
S- Yea like $50 *Looks at Marzia*
A- I have to go pee again apparently this baby things my bladder is a squeeze toy.
Ma- Dammit. Here you go.
S- Thank you. Now I forget do you like to lose?
Ma- Shut up. Double or nothing she has it tomorrow.
S- Ok.
M- Hey is Amy here? We have a doctors appointment.
Ma- Yea she's in the bathroom.
M- Amy we gotta go.
A- In a minute!
M- People ask us why we're not together I just don't know what to tell them.
A- Okay I'm ready lets go.
M- Ok.
At Doctors
*Mark tapping his fingers on the table*
A- Hey Mark can I ask you something?
M- Sure.
A- When Sasha was pregnant with Julien were you always this annoying?
M- *Looks down at fingers* Wow
A- Excuse me?
M- Nothing. It's just that you've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you.
A- Well than you must just have a natural talent for it.
M- You know what the doctors will be here in a minute why don't we not speak until then?
A- Ok
M- *Breathing*
A- Yea breathe louder Mark that's great.
M- You know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil.
A- *Doctor comes in* Hi Doctor Long how are you?
M- Oh you're nice to her.
A- She has the drugs.
Doctor- I'll just do a quick check up.
A- Ok
Doctor- Well your about 80% effaced so your on your way. It still could last a little longer, if your anxious there are a few ways to make it go faster.
M- Do them!
Doctor- Actually there are things you can do. Just some home remedies.
A- Well we are ready to try anything.
Doctor- Ok. There's and Orbal tea you can drink or you can eat spicy foods.
A- Ok.
Doctor- Going on a long walk.
A- Good done.
Doctor- And the one that's proved most effective, sex.
A- *Looks at Mark*
M- You've got to be kidding me!
A- *Grabs paper from doctor*
At Central Perk
Ma- So any news on when the baby's gonna come.
A- No but she gave us lots of ideas.
M- So far none of them have worked.
A- Well there's one more but someone says that will open up a can of worms
Ma- Well whatever it is just do it if it'll bring the baby here faster.
M- It's sex.
Ma- Do it!
M- Marzia!
Ma- Hey if Mark isn't willing to do it I'll let you borrow Felix.
M- Marzia! What is the matter with you!
Ma- Well I keep betting Signe that your gonna have the baby but it hasn't happened yet!
A- How much?
Ma- $50
A- I want in!
M- Yea me too.
Ma- So now I'm betting against all three of you?
A- Don't worry I feel like tomorrows the day.
Ma- Really ok!
A- *Looks at Signe and shakes her head no*
