In Labor room
A- Doctor Long I've been at this for 17 hours. You gotta give me some good news. How many centimeters am I dilated? 8, 9?
Doctor- Three
M- Just three! I'M dilated three!
A- *Gives Mark the REALLY face*
Doctor- Just a little more time. But you look great. I'll be back later.
M- Ok thank you.
A- *Doctor Leaves* Hey you know what? I'm not waiting I'm gonna push this baby out, I mean what three centimeters that's gotta be like this right? *Extends hands far out*
M- Actually its more like this *Pushes Amy's hand closer together*
A- Oh stupid metric system!
*Women comes in, in labor*
Boy Doctor- Oh boy, we better take you straight to the birthing room.
A- Oh for the love of God!
Half an hour later
Other Doctor- This rooms available-
A- Ok! Ok you listen to me! I have been waiting 4. Yes 4 women have come and gone with there babies, I'm next! It's my turn! It's only fair! And if you bring in one more woman and she has her baby before me I'm gonna sue you!
Doctor- Um-
A- Not this hospital, I'm gonna sue YOU! And my husband, he is a lawyer! *Points to Mark*
M- Uh Amy-
A- You get back on that case honey!
Doctor- I don't think the next patient is very far along.
A- *Sarcastically/Mockingly* Ok well then bring her in.
*Amy and Mark (semi) cuddle*
*Janice enters room*
Janice- OH MY GAWD! *Claps hands*
*Mark and Amy both look terrified*
Janice- I can't believe this!
M- And yet somehow it's true.
Janice- I mean this is so great we're gonna be baby buddies! *Annoying Laughter*
M- *To Amy* Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears.
Sid- Hi.
Janice- Hi honey. Mark, Amy this is my husband Sid. I don't think you've met him. I nabbed him two years ago at the office, thank god for adults acne.
Sid- Yea. I'm the luckiest guy in the world!
M- Really?
Sid- What'd he say?
Janice- Oh you have to speak very loudly to Sid cause he's almost completely deaf.
M & A- Oh well there ya go.
Janice- So congrats you two I didn't even know you got married.
A- Oh we didn't.
Janice- What?
M- No, were just having this baby together, but um that's all.
Janice- Why?
M- Well because we're just not at that place. But we're very excited about this *Touches Amy's stomach*
Janice- Oh. Well then shut me up! *Annoying Laughter*
A- Haha. Just tell me how.
Janice- Oh I feel another one coming. Ah ah ow oww!
Signe and Jack POV
*Both go into a room*
S- Good a private room.
*Kiss*
J- Should we tell Amy there's a private room right next to hers?
S- We could. Or we could have sex in it.
J- Well let me think about that....while I remove my pants!
S- *Laying on bed* Ok mister. Fertilize me!
*kisses*
*Janice's annoying laughter*
S- Did that sound like.... Janice?
A/N- Btw Janice is Jacks ex
J- If not then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world!
In Labor Room (Amy Mark Signe & Jack)
S- Hi.
A & M- Hi
S- I can't believe this is taking so long. How do you feel?
A- Oh not bad. You know that feeling when your trying to blow a saint gurnard out your ass.
J- Weirdest thing did I hear Jan-
*Curtains open to see Janice*
J- Mother of God it's true!
Janice- Jackaboy!?!
J- J-Janice?
M- Not just Janice, Janice in Labor *Grinds teeth* Contracting and everything!
S- I feel so bad for you. She's YOUR ex and I have Richard.
J- Janice I didn't even know you were pregnant who's the unwitting human who's essence you've stolen?
Janice- It's you. This is yours.
J- W-What!!
Janice- Ha. Look how nervous he gets we haven't slept together in years! *Annoying Laugh*
J- Haha. Does it hurt? Does the Labor hurt?
1 hour later
Janice- *Doctor taking her into delivery room* Ow. Ow. OW!
Sid- It was really nice meeting you two.
Janice- Sid!
Sid- That was the first time I heard her voice. I wasn't to fond of it.
*Sid Leaves*
A- Oh that's five Mark. Five women have had five babies and I have had no babies! Why doesn't she wanna come out?
M- You know what I think it is? I think you've made such a nice home for her in the last 9 months that she just doesn't wanna leave.
A- Awe *Touches Marks ear* look at you making up crap for me.
M- *Small giggle*
*Amy has contraction*
Doctor- 21 hours. Your a hero.
A- Doctor you gotta do something. You gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out. *Lays back*
Doctor- Actually I think your ready to go to the delivery room.
A- What?
Doctor- 10 centimeters. Your about to become a mom.
A- Ok.
*Pregnant women comes in*
A- Haha. Beat ya sucker!
