Forever More (ON HOLD)

Put The Past Behind

Elena Pov

I stood there staring at nothing in particular.

"Elena, are you ok?" Tasha asked from behind me.

I shook my head "he hates me"

"No he dosen't he's just upset"

"This is the exact reason why I didn't tell him about you"

She sighed heavily, "Elena I swear I would've never came if I knew he was going to be here"

"I know. It's just, doesn't he understand what I was faced with? It's always about his feelings and he had to do this or he had to do that. What about me? I was all alone when he was cheating on me, I had no one to talk to. Even after everything I thought I would feel free, but it just made everything worse, especially after I found out that I was pregnant."

I paused trying to catch my breath.
"No one was there to help me through my pregnancy. You know I would've never sent him to jail if I knew that I was pregnant. I just wish for once he would consider what I had to go through."

I let go of what I've been holding onto for so long and just cried. I sunk down to the floor and cried. Tasha sat beside me trying to console me but I couldn't help it. I just wish he could be in my shoes for once.

Eventually I stopped and the only sound in the room are my hiccups. I breathed heavily, "I'm gonna go check on Carter"

"No. Let me go, you go get yourself changed"

I tried to smile but I feel so drained that my lips wouldn't comply. I walked back to my room and hopped in the shower. I let the steamy water run down my back.

I really hope I didn't just ruin Carter's chance of having his father in his life.

Rosie POV

I sat down on the couch and enjoyed my television time like I usually do. I'm hoping that Mathew will be home soon so we can continue our conversation that we had this morning.

Maybe we shouldn't take a break but I do feel like he needs some space. I feel that him recently becoming a dad has really been overwhelming for him.

I sighed, flicking to the amc channel trying to catch up on the new season of the walking dead. With all that has been going on, I really haven't gotten a chance to watch any of the new episodes.

Just as it was starting and I began to get cozy, I heard the front door open and slam close. I can hear him slam his keys down on the small table and his foot steps are getting closer to where I am.

He paused at the door frame of the living room starring at me. I frowned, "Mathew what's wrong?"

I hit pause on the remote sitting up on the couch trying to take in his features.  It's a little dark in here and the only thing allowing me to see his face, is the light in the small hallway. From what I can tell, he looks tense.

"Rosie I really don't know what to do" he finally walked into the living room pacing back and forth between me and the television.

"Matty what is it?"

He shook his head, "I don't even know how to say it. She was really there and really real. Carter even called her auntie." He sat down beside me looking straight ahead. It seems as if he is talking more to himself rather than me.

"Matty tell me what's going on"

He turned his head to look at me, "Tasha is Carter's godmother and he calls her auntie and she's been around. She's been in his life all this time and I didn't know"

Now that he's closer to me, I can take in his features a little better, the tv casting a blueish glow to his brown eyes that burned into mine.

"I don't even have a say in whether I want Tasha to be in his life or not. I don't, but I don't think there's anything that I can do about it now"

"Okay, start from the beginning, tell me what happened"

I listened to his story from start to finish and in all honesty, I'm a little frustrated with him.

"And now I'm here" he finished. "I don't want her in his life"

"It may not be what you want but that was Elena's decision to make and there's no changing that"

"To hell there is and I'm not going back to that house until I know that Tasha won't be in his life anymore"

I frowned shaking my head, "Mathew are you hearing yourself? I know what Elena did was beyond the extreme but you can't make Carter suffer because of her mistakes."

"No Rosie! I won't stand for this! She has done me wrong, for six years she let me suffer I'm not-"

"Mathew she apologized for-"

"Sorry doesn't change anything Rosie!"

"No it doesn't but you can not keep throwing that in her face! You're going to push her away." I paused shaking my head, "I know sorry doesn't give you your years back but that was the best she could do. She can't go back and change anything but she's trying to move on from that Mathew and you have to too."

"How? How can you expect me to move on from something like this when the past keeps following me?" He shook his head, "I thought I was over this, I thought that I could put everything behind me"

"This is the present now Mathew and you have to live in it. You can't keep throwing that in her face. How many times do you expect her to keep apologizing for it?"

"For the rest of her life"

"Well, have you ever thought about the fact that you cheated on her all of those years? And you don't hear her throwing it back in your face or holding it against you"

"Yeah but you can't compare the two"

"I know, I'm just trying to make a point here. You know what I think?"

He stared at me, his eyes big and wide waiting for me to continue. "I think you guys need to sit down like adults and have a long talk about this. For the sake of Carter"

There was a deep silence between us and I can tell that he's in his thinking mode. I think I'll just give him some time.

"I'm gonna go to bed okay?" Without waiting for an answer, I got up and walked to the bedroom completely dismissing my television show. For some reason, I immediately just feel really tired.

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