CHAPTER FIVE - DELILAH

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DELILAH

The kettle bubbles away on the stove ready for my morning coffee. I can't function without the stuff, because I'm a fully-fledged caffeine addict. And a proud one at that. I don't think I'd be able to operate all day without the caffeine hit as I run on barely three hours of sleep. Knowing my dad was looked after at the hospital, I decided to take the paperwork home. For some reason, I find a lot more inspiration to work while in the comfort of my living room, which was why my eyes were still glued to the laptop at two o'clock this morning.

"DeDe, where you at, my girl?" Poppy's voice startles me as I spoon the sugar into my cup, nearly sending the contents on the floor as I tip the mug over.

"In here, Pops," I reply to my roommate, hoovering the granules up with my hands.

Poppy appears through the door in her unicorn onesie, wearing a too-happy smile. "Why are you dressed? I thought we were having a duvet day."

"We are still having a duvet day." I get out a second mug and walk across the kitchen to pull the almond milk from the fridge, attending to Poppy's vegan ways. "I need to run to the post-office first and check the answerphone messages at work."

She grabs an apple from the fruit bowl and hops up on the counter to swing her legs against the cupboard doors. "Oh, good. We can pamper ourselves a little before our Friday night out tonight."

I nod. "Sure.

Poppy crunches loudly on her apple when I make myself some toast, slathering the bread in Nutella and licking the knife right after. Nutella is my weakness. Lucky for me, Poppy can't eat it, so it's mine all mine. "You're a minger licking the knife like that."

I smile, knowing the chocolate has spread all over my lips. "I don't care."

I feel a tinge of jealousy when Poppy rearranges her thick, straight jet black hair into a high ponytail, looking like she just walked out of a film set. She's the spitting image of Pocahontas. Even down to the natural cherry red lips and high cheekbones. I guess you could call her a Disney Doppelganger.

"Will you let me do your hair tonight? I'll braid it like I did the other week," she says.

I shrug. "You can do whatever you want. It's not like I ever make an effort."

Poppy jumps down from the worktop and grabs her tea from the kitchen table where I'm practically licking the crumbs off my plate. "I wish you'd make more of an effort. You're so pretty. A guy would snap you up right away."

No, she couldn't be more wrong. Next, to her, I'm the DUFF. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Which I don't mind at all. Men only cause problems and heartache. An emotion I try to steer clear of, knowing I have far too much extra baggage on my back already.

"I don't need a man." I get up to take my empty dishes to the sink to rinse them in soapy water.

Poppy spins around in her chair and points her finger at me. "Yes, you do. How long have you been single now? Three years?"

I scrub the plate with my back turned away from her. "Four years."

"Four years," she says, sounding freaked out. "How can you last that long without sex?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. You just put up with it."

She puts her apple core near the draining board."Us women have needs too. What about that man you went home with last month? Did you get any then?"

I turn to face her. "Gary is his name. And, yes, I did sleep with him. But I won't be doing it again."

Poppy hollers and bangs her palms on the table. "Yes, girl. Not going back for seconds. I like your style."

She's one of a kind, this girl. "No, I won't be sleeping with random strangers ever again. It was a one-off."

I use the tea towel to dry my plate off when she says, "I got you. Gary wasn't any good in the sack. Did you have to fake it? Because I can tell you. I've been there before. The trick is to-"

"Stop," I cry out, wanting to cover my ears at my best friend's sexual advice.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Delilah. Plenty of us women have had to put up with a fumbling man. Plus, you shouldn't be too hard on him. Alcohol can affect a person's performance," she rambles on, ignoring my pleading expression.

"I won't be having a one-night stand again." I wipe the rest of the dishes dry and walk around the kitchen to tidy them up. "So, no tips needed, thanks."

"Fair enough." She downs her tea and reaches into the fruit bowl for a second time to pick out two bananas. "I'm always open to tell you some of my secrets. I'll have a man falling at your feet in no time."

I can't help but laugh. "As tempting of an offer as that is, I don't fancy getting an STD for Christmas."

Poppy looks haunted. "How unfortunate that would be? Can you imagine being sat around the dinner table, trying not to let your family see the pain in your eyes as the burning soars through your nether regions?"

"Poppy!" I burst into hysterics, my stomach cramping as I bend over. "You're priceless."

She chews on her food. "I'm going to make an appointment at the clinic. I'm not bloody risking it. Not when my mum always sits me in the corner between my Grandma and Great Aunt. I can imagine the torture of it all now."

I pull my fur coat from the back of the kitchen chair and fight my way through it, the weight of the material stopping me from making a quick exit. "You do that, sweetie. I won't be long running my errands, and then we can have a bit of girly time."

The banana skin goes flying into the bin. "Okay, sugar plum. Tom Hardy will be waiting for you."

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