Oh My God He Loves Me; A Danisnotonfire fanfic

Chapter 20

I run to my apartment. Phil follows me all the way there. I open the door and run to the sofa. I sit there in the dark and stare at the T.V. Phil walks in and turns on the lights. Me and him stare at each other for a few minutes until he looks away.

"Samantha are you okay?" He asks.

"What do you think? I found my boyfriend kissing another girl, and my best friend is dead." I say.

"I'm sorry." Phil says then sits on the sofa. I crawl over to him and lay my head on his chest. My phone buzzes. I get it out of my back pocket and look at the text from Dan.

I just got a call at the hospital and they said they needed someone there. -D

I read that to Phil.

"Guess someone has to take the body." I say, getting up. Phil gets up with me. "I just want to go tomorrow."

"Well we can go tomorrow. Go to sleep. I need to go back to my house." Phil says.

"I don't want to stay here alone. Plus it's 2:00." I say. Phil looks down at me. 

"Fine." He says. I go up to my room and lay down. Phil gets in beside me. We sleep back to back.

The next morning Phil wakes me up to go to the hospital. I get up and quickly brush out my hair. I have massive bags under my eyes but I don't care.

"I'm ready." I say quietly. Phil puts his hands on my shoulders then looks at me.

"Are you sure?" He asks. I nod, while trying to hold back tears. "Your strong okay?" I nod. He stares right into my shit brown eyes then puts his hand on my cheek then kisses me. I kiss him and I don't care. He pulls away. "Lets go."

We get to the hospital. We ask about Emma and they give us a room number. I look at Phil weirdly and we go to the elevator and get to her room. We walk in and Emma is laying there hooked up to many different machines. Emma is laying in the bed, asleep. I run up to her and look at Phil. He walks up and sits down beside me then holds onto her hand.

"Phil is that you?" She asks in a voice thats almost a whisper.

"Yeah it's me and Samantha." Phil says. She turns her head and looks straight at Phil.

"I'm sorry." She says.

"No i'm the one who needs to be apoligizing. I made you this way." Phil says. She smiles then looks over at me.

"You look horrible." She says.

'I know." I say.

"What happened with you?" She asks. I shake my head.

"You don't need to worry about it." I say. "I'll let you guys be alone."

"We need to talk later." Emma says. I nod then get up and walk out. I look at my phone and see a missed call from Dan. I dismiss it then walk to the cafe. I get a juice and sit down then start drinking it and looking at Twitter. I tweet "sorry for the absence! I will make a video and post it Friday :D" then start replying to all of them until I get to one from Dan. God I miss him. 

"There you are!" Phil says. I look up at him then back down at my phone. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing." I say then turn my phone off then look at him.

"Emma wants to talk to you." He says.

"I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to have to explain everything." I say.

"Your going to have to one time or another." Phil says. "I'll help you."

"Okay." I say quietly. We walk to Emma's room. She is sitting up on the bed flipping through channels on the T.V. She mutes the T.V.

"Tell me whats happening." She says. Phil looks at me and I nod.

"Dan was kissing Cat." Phil says.

"That cheating whore!" Emma says. I look down at my feet. Phil put hugs me.

"I want to go home." I say, then pull out of Phil's hug and go home alone.

1 Month Later

Well, how do I put this? Dan and Cat are together. Phil and Emma are closer then they have ever been, then theres me. Alone, and depressed. Dan doesn't even give a fuck about me and Emma only comes to the apartment like once every 2 weeks. The last time I talked to Dan was last month when I came to pick up my stuff.

I changed a lot. I'm a lot skinner, and I barely talk anymore. I still make videos but the fans can tell something is wrong. They know about how me and Dan broke up and things like that. I keep everything to myself. I don't even tell Emma things anymore, like how I started cutting again. I don't care if you call me an emo slut but I have nobody here for me. I look at Dan's videos and he seems happeir then he was when he was with me.

Anyway today i'm going over to Dan and Phil's apartment because Emma is making me. I put on my hoodie and finish my hair. My hoodie is to big on me and it's noticable. I put a long sleeve shirt on under it.

"Come on are you ready?" Emma asks. I nod then follow her to the apartment building. The way there is silent. We get there and Phil opens the door. He hugs Emma then looks at me.

"Oh my god Samantha." He says then hugs me for a long time. "Dan is here." I shrug then walk in. Dan is in the kitchen. 

"Hey Em- SAMANTHA!?" He yells then drops his bowel he's washing. I ignore him then take off my hoodie and throw it over the sofa.

"Oh my god." Phil whsipers. "What happened to you?" I shrug then sit on the sofa. Dan walks in then stares at me from the side but I don't look away from my phone.

"Was this my fault?" He asks. I ignore him. "Why wont you talk!?" I ignore him again.

"She doesn't talk much." Emma says. She sits beside me. "Samantha you need to talk." I shake my head. "Please."

"Okay you want me to talk?" I ask standing up. I look at everyone. "Yeah i'm skinner. I've been in depression for a whole month! You imagine your boyfriend cheating on you, he actually gets with the girl he was cheating on you with, you thinking your best friend died, and everyone just stops talking to you because they are tired of trying to help you! The only people who cares for me, is over the internet. Just take some time for that to set in." I look at everyone staring at me. "Then when I do talk everyone just stares at me like your somekind of animal. I didn't even want to come here today. I didn't want to face Phil. I didn't even think Dan would even try to talk to me! Emma is the one who made me come. Even she has been ignoring me! The last time I talked, from this time, was 1 week ago. Thats how long she has been gone. I can admit that I am in depression and I even started cutting again. Go ahead and call me an emo slut. Now i'm going to sit here on this sofa okay?" I sit on the sofa then look at Tumblr. After a few moments Emma and Phil sit next to me.

"Can you roll up your sleeves?" Phil asks. Dan is still looking at me. I burst into tears then roll up my sleeve to show 4 deep cuts on my left arm. 

"Oh my god Samantha." Emma says. I look up at Dan who is staring at my arm, with tears starting to form in his eyes.

"It wasn't even Emma or Phil who made me do this. It was Dan. This was all Dan. I thought about it 2 weeks ago. I fell in love with him, then he just moves on from me like I was just a piece of trash. It hurts." I say, staring right into Dan's eyes. I roll my sleeve back down. "And i'm way skinner then it seems." I stand up and raise my shirt a little bit. My stomach literally caves in. "I haven't eaten in 2 days."

"Your going to eat." Phil says. I shake my head. "Yes." He guides me into the kitchen. He gets into the fridge and pulls out some leftover stir-fry. He warms it up and puts it in a bowel then sits it on the bar. I go and sit down then pick up my fork then start eating little bits of it. Dan comes then sits in the oppisite side of me.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"Thats all your going to say?" I ask. He shrugs. "Whatever Dan." I continue eating.

"No I want to talk." He says.

"What is there to talk about Dan?" I ask.

"About how I love you."