Admitting Was Never Part Of Our Vocabulary

Chapter 10 - Special place

We're walking. It's Silent. "So are you going to tell me yet?" I ask again for about the fifth time now. It was silent, I could feel the air against my skin, it felt like all my worries were flying away. "I'm not telling you." He says nudging me off of the curb. A little too hard causing me to fall over.

"Fuck are you okay" he says picking me up. "I'm fine,it's fine" I reply. "No I'm such a jerk" he says holding my hand in his and brushing the mud off. We're now looking at each other. Why does he look worried,he looks so scared.

"It's okay" I say, not to sure what I was referring too. We carry on walking he hasn't yet let go of my hand. But our fingers were still lightly intwined. After a couple of seconds our hands leave one another's.

we carry on walking until we come up to a large building. Andy grabs his keys from his pocket and unlocks a padlock which is securing the door shut. After unlocking it he makes his way in, gesturing for me to do the same by tilting his head. "Come on" he whispers.

As we enter the building, it looks abandoned. Filthy. Graffiti all over the walls, plants growing from outside inside through the broken windows. He leads me to a rusty metal staircase, we start to walk up and as we do the air hits me. It was fresh. It felt so good, he makes his way up by pushing himself up onto the roof, placing his hand out towards me. I grab it and he helps to pull me up.We were now both stood on top of the building.

I walked further towards the edge and felt the air against my soft skin. I could see the whole city in front of me, it was late so only a few cars would pass every now and then. It felt magical, I see Andy go towards the edge and sit with his legs over the edge of the building. I look down to see the roof is covered in drawings and graffiti, was this all him?

I walk towards him and sit down next to him. "Why did you bring me here". I ask softly. "It's my special place, its where I go when I'm upset, feeling lost...alone." He says "and you can tell when someone's alone" he added.

"What do you mean, you can tell?" I ask quietly. "You're alone. I'm alone, we're both alone that's why we get along so well, it's not the alone that most people feel.

It's not a noticeable alone, it's the feeling where you could be sat in a room full of people and still feel as if no one was there, Yano. It's the constant feeling of not being good enough, or everyone saying that they're always going to be there for you and that they're never going to leave but in the end everyone does. Leaving you alone. Lost in a world full of people" he says, it's almost as if he forgot that I was there.

"When i am with you I start to feel a little less lonely dinks"
he says again, turning towards me and looking at me. "One day you wake up Andy and you realise that you don't need the whole world to love and care for you, maybe you only need one person, and that one person may even have to be yourself for a little while" I say, our eyes don't loose contact for a second. " I just wish I could have found that one person already. Or I maybe I could be a better person." Andy says, "We all want to be something better than we are Andy. I've tried countless times to recreate myself, into something better." I reply, looking out into the city. "There's no better you than yourself dinks" andy says, my hand is placed on the cold roof. I feel a something warm press against the top of my hand. It was Andys hand. I don't know if this was a mistake but I didn't want him to stop. I start to shiver, it's 3:00 am and it's not exactly the warmest of nights. I see in the corner of my eye, he starts to take off his jacket and I feel him wrap It around my shoulders, I inhale the smell of his cologne. A smile started to emerge on my face,
"don't stop" Andy whispers. "What?" I question looking up. "Don't stop smiling" he adds. Smiling himself. He reaches over me, and puts his hand in his coat pocket, he brings out a black marker pen and the space between us he wrote