Admitting Was Never Part Of Our Vocabulary

Chapter 11 - The photos

As me and Andy depart from one another I walk around the school trying to find Emily, I couldn't find her but when I finally did she seemed panicked. 
"Alex come with me right now" she says pulling me into the toilets.
"What, what is wrong Emily?"
I ask eager to know what had happened.
"The talk of the school is you hooked up with Andy? Apparently he has photos of you on his phone half naked?" "I've seen them."She says almost disappointed. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I could feel it beating in my head. All I wanted to do was cry.
"No no that's not at all what happened" I say tearing up.
"So what did Alex?" She asks rubbing my arm.
"This morning he came round so we could walk to school together, we usually do, Yano being next door neighbours and all. But if just got out of the shower and we were messing around, I started posing in silly positions and he took pictures so we could laugh back on them. We did nothing. How could he do this" I let it all out.

I needed Emily to know, I couldn't bare if she left me or felt any less of me because of what he's done.
"Al calm down, if you did or didn't you know I'd always be by your side. I'd just prepare yourself"
Before I could speak, three girls walk into the toilets, under their breath I hear them snickering. Me and Emily give one another a look and exit the toilets. As we do I hear one of the girls let out "slag".

How could he do this to me.
How.
I walk to my locker to grab some books for next lesson, if I could bare to show my face.
As I slam my locker I'm greeted by Andy.
In that moment all I wanted to do was scream and shout and cry.
How could he.
"A- dinks" he says.
"Don't fucking talk to me Andy"  I let out.
"No please let me explain" he says eager.
"Explain what Andy? What do you have to explain? Oh yeah I've heard by the way, I've seen the photos. Again. So much for trust, don't come near me ever again." I say almost crying.
"No you don't understand please listen to me."
He says again.
I had no reason to ever want to listen or talk to him again.
"It's okay Andy. This looks good on you doesn't it."
I walk away from him, my stomach hurt, I felt as if I was going to be sick.

*
I spent the rest of the day either avoiding andy or being called a slag, whore, easy, sket, tramp, hoe. Even though I knew nothing happened everything hurt. I couldn't walk through the hallways without being whistled at by horny teenage boys. I'd been pinned. The school slut I presume. Everyone thinks I'm easy. How is anyone ever going to take me seriously again.

*
Currently I'm laying on my bed, hoping to sink in and never be able to come back up.
I hear a loud buzzing beside my ear. I pick up my phone to see Andys name across the screen. I decline the call and place my phone back on my bed.

A text pops up on my phone.

Andy - please let me explain.

I simply delete the text. I couldn't talk to him right now.
I felt so much anger towards him.
I don't understand. Why would he do this.
Maybe I should talk to him.
Maybe. No. No I shouldn't, he doesn't deserve it.

I turn my head towards the window. I see him laying on his bed. His phone in his hand. Was he waiting for me to reply?

I decide to message him.

Alex - why?

As I send the message I see him prop himself up more. I was right.

Andy - let me explain. Please.

Alex -  why should I.

Andy - meet me outside
Andy - please ?

I throw on a jumper and walk downstairs.
I open the door and Andy is already there.
I sit down on the famous door step we often sit on. He sits beside me.

It's silent for a while. The wind is cold against my bare legs.

"Jensen, I lent him my phone. The photos were already open. I didn't show anyone. He took my phone. He showed people. Not me"
He says quietly.
Relief washes over me the fact that he hadn't betrayed my trust, my anger was still there but most of it had now turned into guilt for not hearing him out before.
"Oh, I - "
I say, being interrupted by Andy saying.
"Don't say it. Don't say sorry."
"No Andy I'm an idiot."
I reply looking towards the ground.
It's silent again.