Wars at Home

Chapter 8

I managed to keep my opinions to myself for the remainder of our visit, and we returned home at the end of the week.

As life went back to normal, I realized that my worries about Ruby were actually a blessing. She had been a distraction from my ongoing dread over Samuel's situation. He had still been on my mind constantly, but it was a relief to worry about something else for a while. Something that, even if I couldn't provide it the way I would have liked to, actually had an attainable solution.

As Andrew pointed out, I still had children to raise, but they didn't supply quite the same level of distraction as Ruby had.

Thomas was grown now, and didn't really require any mothering. But of course, James and Victoria were still young enough to need me. And James got into plenty of trouble too. He hardly seemed able to say out of it actually. But even that wasn't due to a lack of discipline. Mostly it was just things like his curiosity over what would happen if he tried some of the experiments he read about, forgetting the very important detail that he was attempting them in my kitchen or his bedroom. Or he would come home with ruined clothes from simply being a boy and playing too roughly.

Victoria, on the other hand, had never required much attention. She was a people-pleaser and enjoyed being busy helping around the house or reading, or doing things that were equally as docile.

The two of them generally got along well. They fought from time to time, as all siblings did, but they were probably the closest of all my children. True fights between them were rare. But their behavior seemed even better now, and I knew it was because they didn't want to upset me after seeing the way Samuel's departure had left me.

It was ridiculous, of course, but in the back of my mind I almost wished they would act out a little, just to give me something to focus on besides my helplessness concerning their brother. Cleaning up James' messes and mending torn clothes occupied my hands but not my mind.

With so few concerns at home, life continued on in an agonizingly slow pace between the letters that we received from Samuel. Each one sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. First there was the intense relief and gratitude that he was still safe and well enough to have written the letter. Then I was consumed by almost painful curiosity, wondering if he was still that way. And that would cycle right back to dread once I actually read the letter and realized that it didn't sound as though he planned on coming home any time soon.

That particular fear was about more than just Samuel though. The longer the war went on, the more likely it was that there would be another draft.

I hadn't worried terribly with the first, since it was only required for men between the ages of twenty-one and thirty-one. But I nearly went crazy when it was announced that there would be a second.

Thankfully my worry still proved unnecessary. The only ones required to register that second time, were men who had turned twenty-one since the first draft, so for the time being, Thomas was still safe.

But how long would it be until there was another? One where the required age was lowered to eighteen?

It was impossible not to listen to the rumors that a third draft was imminent. Supposedly the war was going well, but every day men were dying. It seemed obvious that, unless the war ended swiftly, they would need more men to carry on. And it didn't bode well that they'd already drafted men twice. People were convinced it would happen again any day now, and since the last draft was only a few months ago, they would most definitely be lowering the age if another came so soon.

Andrew begged me not to worry about it, but obviously I couldn't help it. I was already an emotional wreck over Samuel. How would I stay sane if I had to worry about Thomas as well?