Wars at Home

Chapter 26

A year ago, I would have never dreamed it possible that I could be this happy after everything that happened.

But before I knew it, I'd been married to John for six months and rather than the dismal existence I saw ahead of me last year, I was deliriously happy.

Like Julia with my father, I thought of Andrew every day, but I was able to have some joy in my life again.

I'd always thought that by marrying a second time, that my love would sort of have to transfer to someone else. But that just wasn't true. My love for Andrew hadn't diminished in the slightest. But now I was free to love John too.

When I was younger, I felt torn between the two of them, and later on guilty for loving John while I was in love with Andrew. But now, I didn't have to feel guilty. I could hold them both in my heart forever.

I suppose I should say that I was almost completely happy, since things around the house had been strained.

As I guessed they would be, the older children seemed fine. I suppose they'd gotten so used to new adjustments, that another one was like nothing to them. But the younger children weren't so accommodating.

After things calmed down from the wedding and moving back to the ranch, the children's feelings became more evident.

Victoria wasn't her sweet, understanding self all the time anymore. Her loyalty to John didn't mean quite so much once she thought that he was trying to replace her daddy.

I was trying to be patient, knowing that she had more to deal with in the past two years than any child should, but there was only so much I could allow. She'd earned herself several punishments, mouthing off when she got really upset. It reminded me of the way Ruby had been more often than not, when we first came to stay with Julia. I couldn't get over the drastic change in my sweet little girl.

James was having his own problems dealing with everything, and he usually sided with his sister when she got herself in trouble. Which resulted in two very angry children and a huge headache for me.

For a while, the more John tried to win them over, the more resentful they became. And no amount of effort on my part did any good since they saw me as a traitor.

Thomas was about the only one they listened to, and he would try. But if he pushed them too hard to be understanding, they would shut down, usually crossing their arms and looking anywhere but at him.

Ruby might have been fine, but with all the extra attention John was giving the other two, she began to feel neglected and like they were trying to steal John from her.

Basically, it was a huge mess.

I knew that eventually they would understand and that things would calm down, but I wasn't sure how long I could handle everything being so agitated.

One consolation was that over the last few weeks, things seemed to be looking up after John had encouraged them to talk about Andrew several times. He would tell them stories about when they were boys, and the children couldn't help but be interested in listening. I could see them beginning to soften as they realized that John didn't want to erradicate their memories of their father, but would actually help them know him better.

I know we still had a ways to go before we could be one big happy family, but that was something at least. I could hope that in another few months they wouldn't be so hostile and defensive toward John.

Thankfully, I got a brief respite on Sundays while we were at Julia and Daniel's. The children were all better behaved for some reason. Not that I was complaining.