Wars at Home

Chapter 13

I wasn't sure what to expect with John. This was not the way I envisioned our discussion starting and I knew that everything that just happened would be a total shock to him.

When I turned to face him, he wasn't looking at me. He was watching Ruby with a stern and astonished expression.

"Daddy!" Ruby tried to hug him, but he gripped her shoulders, stopping her .

She looked up, her lip trembling and confusion in her eyes.

"Sit down," he ordered, releasing her.

Her confusion deepened. "Daddy?"

"I said, sit down." I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard that kind of authority in John's voice.

Apparently Ruby couldn't either. She backed away, looking stunned, and sat in the chair as tears streamed down her face.

"But Daddy-" she tried pitifully, fighting real tears for a change.

"Don't give me that!" John's temper flared. "I heard your screaming all the way down the road! Your aunt is right, your mother would be ashamed of you. I'm ashamed of you."

For the first time, I saw real remorse cross Ruby's face before she dropped her eyes to the floor.

"This had better be the last I ever hear of you speaking to anyone that way. And you had better get rid of that attitude because if your aunt doesn't do what she said she would, I will."

Ruby looked up, completely shocked by John's threat, before she buried her face in her hands and dissolved into sobs.

I turned to John and offered him a small smile. Maybe Ruby wouldn't be quite as difficult as I'd thought. A few stern words from John and she was practically broken.

He blinked at me, not seeming sure of what to do now. But I noticed he didn't look guilty or horrified about having to discipline her. He looked like he was waking up.

I nodded in Ruby's direction and he took the cue. He walked the few steps toward her and she lept into his arms, still crying hysterically.

"Oh Daddy, I'm sorry!" she cried.

John rubbed her back as she continued to sob. After a few minutes he gripped her arms and propped her up.

"Alright." He pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her face. "Enough of this."

Ruby forced herself to stop crying, only hiccuping every few seconds.

"This needs to stop now," John said. "What happened to my sweet little girl?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she whimpered between shaky breaths. "I'll be better. I promise."

"And you'll listen to your aunt from now on and be respectful."

Ruby nodded furiously.

"Alright then." John kissed her forehead. "I think you have a punishment waiting."

She sniffled and nodded again, and I slipped out the door.

John pushed away from Ruby and followed me out to the hall, pausing in the doorway.

"I love you, Sweetheart," he said, looking back.

"I love you too, Daddy." Ruby's answer came quietly right before the door closed.

We walked in silence down the hall, stopping just before reaching the stairs.

John slid down onto the bench seat that was against the wall, and I sat beside him. From the way he sagged against the wall, I guessed that he felt as drained as I did.

"When did she get like that?" he asked in disbelief.

"When you weren't looking." I watched him seriously.

He met my eyes and I knew he understood what I meant.

"John, this whole thing... it isn't working," I said. "Ruby needs structure and rules. She needs to be home with you. So do Emily and Matthew. Their lives are so... upset all the time."

He nodded. "It was never feasible. I couldn't raise them and run the ranch. This was the only way."

"I know." It occurred to me that it really hadn't been the only way, but I shoved the alternative out of my mind. There was another option now.

"But Julia's not up for this anymore," I said. "She doesn't have the energy and determination for Ruby."

John smiled and shook his head. "She really is just like Jenny, isn't she?"

"No question about that." I smiled. "Luckily she seems to have that same weakness for you that Jenny did. You were the only one who could ever control her."

He looked at the floor, still smiling and thinking.

"John, things need to change." I got back to the subject. "The children need to be in their own home, and Julia and Daniel deserve theirs back."

He turned to me and I knew he agreed but wasn't sure how it would work. He still didn't want the girls around the ranch all day unsupervised. Thinking about Emily and Stephen, I wholeheartedly agreed.

"Which is why I'll come too," I said. "Emily needs to learn how to run a kitchen and Ruby needs to learn... well, a lot of things."

John smiled.

"But more than anything else, they need you. They need the stability of being home with you, all the time."

He nodded. "What would I do without you, Kitty Kat?"

I chuckled at the childish nickname, hiding my unease. I know I was needed right now, but I couldn't help but hope and pray, every second for the war to end, and for Andrew and my boys to come home. The one thing I truly wanted was to get back to our normal lives. But how could I leave John if that happened very soon? I'd be leaving everything just as it was, without a real solution.

I suppose I couldn't worry about that right now though. At the moment I would focus on equipping Emily and Ruby with as many skills and as much motherly guidance as I could. Besides, everything wouldn't be exactly the same. John was aware of how desperately Ruby needed him to be her father. So that was something. In fact, it was a big something.