fixa

eight

"what the fuck do you mean you're scared of me?" jimin asks, and his words sound angry but his voice sounds scared.

"im scared of you," yoongi says, avoiding all eye contact and looking down at his thighs. he wants to cry and scream and leave and sit alone and just kill himself all over again because it hurts so bad, but then again he just wants to sit in jimins arms and kiss him. but he can't now.

"yoongi.. I.. please tell me what you're scared of," he asks, pleads. he scoots closer to yoongi, lacing their fingers together, but yoongi pulls away.

"im so fucking scared of you. i want you, i only want to love you. i want to kiss you and just do everything with you again. but im so scared you're going to hurt me again, and i feel bad for that. im scared once i finally give in to you and love you again, you're going to lose interest in me and leave me, and im so fucking scared of that. i want you to stay with me, i want to be by your side till damn well forever, only until im free to be alone again. but i don't know how to fucking ask without frustrating you. i want you to be happy to. i want to do what you want so you don't get bored of me, but it's so fucking scary. i don't know what to do, jiminnie. i was gonna kiss you that one day, i told myself i was going to. i told myself thats what would fix me, and i was going to fucking do it. but i couldn't. im sorry jiminnie," yoongi says, crying by now.

"yoongi.." jimin whispers. his heart physically hurting seeing yoongi crying in front of him. he's the reason he's crying.

"yoongi please don't be scared of me. please trust me. please. i love you so fucking much and i would never hurt you. think back to how you knew  that before the train. i dont know how else to tell you that i love you so fucking much and i'd do anything for you to trust me again. i swear to fucking god i will never, ever hurt you again. please don't be scared of me. i promise i'll always stay with you until you're okay, because you're all i want now," jimin says, his voice breaking. everything in his voice sounds so real, and yoongi cant't help but fall more in love with him. for once, he feels so damn happy because he just believes him. he believes every word he says.

"what can i do for you to trust me again?" jimin says, and his voice is like a cry. yoongi thinks for a second before coming up with an idea.

"kiss me," yoongi breathes, searching for the little bit of bold moves he has left.

jimin exhales, his breath hitting yoongi's skin.  he leans forward slowly, staring at Yoongi's eyes to make sure he's okay with it.

his hand slowly lifts up, finding the older's jaw and bringing him closer. he tilts his head for better access, and their lips finally touch. and it's the best thing Jimin's felt since the day yoongi almost died and they kisses. as goes for yoongi.

their lips move together in synchronization and yoongi's fists curl into Jimin's shirt, pulling him closer.

they pull back, slowly, so that their foreheads rest against each other, and they stare into each other's eyes. Jimin's hands still stay on yoongi's jaw, and he doesn't dare break eye contact.

"i love you," Yoongi whispers. so quietly. but they both hear it, and jimin gets butterflies in his stomach, and happiness erupts from his heart.

"what?" He asks, just wanting to hear the simply statement again.

"i love you," he repeats, louder this time, and jimin smiles.

he connects their lips forward, wrapping his arms around the older's shoulders and pushing him against the bed, feeling the happiest hes felt in the long time.

he smiles down at yoongi, who smiles back, his hands resting on his waist. jimin grins even wider by the second, and he kisses yoongi's lips, his nose, his cheek, his forehead, everywhere he can reach, because he's just son fucking happy.

"i love you too," he whispers, and yoongi's hands slide all the way around his back, pulling jimin closer.

jimin lowers himself, laying his head on yoongi's chest, and their arms switch so his arms are around Yoongi's back, the olders around Jimin's shoulders.

"i missed this," Yoongi says, smiling as his nose is buried in jimins hair, breathing in the familiar smell.

"i missed you," jimin responds, his voice muffled by Yoongi's shirt.

"what are you talking about, kid? you were in a coma for three months. i had to live without you for three months. then three after that because you left me for taehyung," Yoongi says, actually positive while mentioning what happened before.

"im sorry about that yoongs. but it's alright. I'm here and I love you so fucking much," jimin says, laying his head back down, talking mostly to yoongis shirt.

"it was terrible when you were in a coma. oh God, jiminnie. my life was horrible," Yoongi says, and for once he's able to talk about that without breaking down. he can remember it without hurting.

he's okay.

"Don't worry about that, beautiful. I'm here now and that's all that matters," jimin says, sitting up and freeing his arm from underneath yoongi. he uses his hand to brush back his hair, exposing his forehead.

"jiminnie your imaginary dominance is showing," Yoongi says, and jimin laughs a little.

"sorry, I just think you're beautiful," Jimin responds, and yoongi shys away from his kiss. but jimin doesn't let him, forcing him to face him, connecting their lips.

"i love you," jimin says finally, laying his head back down, and they both close their eyes. they fall asleep peacefully, just like that.

-

just to make up for this entire book n all of solva :)

sucks 4 u cuz I got smth planned

also double update woah!!