fixa

fifteen

As we drive, I begin to feel anxious. the neighborhood is different. it's duller, and gloomier.

my stomach drops when I see three other cars at my mom's house. they have a shape spray painted onto them.

3D boxes.

i keep driving. if they know I'm there they'll definently hurt my mom. they're at her house, they're holding her hostage.

"jimin were going to have to go somewhere else. they're here at my mom's house. we're gonna find somewhere to go, and I'm gonna call the cops too and give them both locations. you're gonna be okay, this time i swear. I'm gonna be sure of it. you're not gonna get hurt," i say, finding a church parking lot. I don't check around for any other cars. I pull out my phone, calling mr. lee.

"lee, I got two places with some people you need to arrest. suspects 45 and 6A are here. they're at xxxx and xxxx. please hurry, Lee. they've got my mom and they're gonna hurt her if you don't get here soon," i say, rolling down my window so i can see my mom's house clearer.

"yoongi that's two hours away. I'll get a call over there and they'll be there soon. sit tight and don't start shit," mr lee says, and I sigh. "alright, bye," i say, turning off my phone.

"tell him nevermind," a voice says, a deep one.

it's outside the car, glaring at me. a person. one of Changhyun's henchmen.

"do it, or i kill Jimin," the guy says, and at the same time, a man takes a crowbar and smashes Jimin's car window in, holding a gun to his head. jimin tenses, and i pull out my phone. I call mr lee again.

"lee, cancel it. we're good," i say, trying to hide my shaky breath. i stare at jimin through the mirror, my eyes shifting from the gun to his head and his scared eyes.

"we've already got a team out there. fifteen minutes at the least, yoongi," he says. i sigh in relief.

"alright, thanks," i say, hoping he'll just take the hint not to cancel that without my say-so. i hang up before he says anything else, setting my phone down.

the guy on Jimin's side puts his hand in the car, unlocking the door from the inside. he opens it, pulling jimin out. the guy on my side does the same. they put us on our knees in front of the car, the headlights of it shadowing all of our faces. i stare at the gun pressed against Jimin's head a if my eyes are laser pointers and I can peirce through it.

"Changhyun said I had to kill you. he didn't say how," the guy whispers, getting on his knees and seething in my ear. I shiver, not breaking eye contact with jimin for a while

"what are you gonna do?" i ask, the shaking in my voice completely evident. what is he going to do? I hadn't really asked myself yet.

"well he didn't say i had to physically kill you so you're actually dead. he didn't say I couldn't just kill you from the inside," the guy says, avoiding the point. i gulp.

"w-what are you gonna do?" I repeat,  clenching my teeth to restrain the anxiety. he nods at the other guy. shit.

"im gonna kill jimin," he says quietly, and I can't think or breathe or do anything.

my ears ring, my limbs are numb. my eyes can't focus all of a sudden, and my stomach has an unsettled feeling. i shake, worse than ever, and my heart feels as if it moved to my throat.

a gunfire goes off. blood splatters. Jimin's eyes go blank, soulless, and he falls to the ground with a thud. I can't think. I can't do anything.

but I do. i crawl forward, holding him in my arms. he's barely alive. he's going to die. and I can't stop it.

"y-yoongi," he strains, and I quiet him. "Don't waste your energy," i say, but he shakes his head. he grabs my finger that I pressed to his lips.

"yoongi," he says. I look him in the eye, signalling for him to continue
"what?" I ask, tears forming at my eyes. I don't let them fall. not now, that'd be selfish.

"kiss me so I die happy," he says, a small smile finding his lips. his words make my heart sink to my stomach. I don't want to. I dot want him to die. but he's going to die, and if he's gonna die he's going to do it happily.

so i kiss him. his lips taste salty, like tears, and a little bit like blood. the kiss is weak, slow, and it's something I never want to feel again but i want it so much more. it's filled with so much emotion, and it's making my heart and mind go crazy. I can't focus on anything.

the guys put their guns up, walking away. i dont stop them. I don't look at them. i just stare at his now lifeless body. any life he had left is just gone now.

this was what was meant to be. I was meant to be without love, I was meant to be without him. I wasn't meant to have a soul mate. if I just realized this earlier jimin would be alive. this is my fault. I promised him. I promised he would be okay. but he's dead now.

I broke my promise.

i hold jimin in my arms for what feels like hours before policemen arrive, taking Jimin's body from me. i sit there, refusing to move, staring at the blood-stained concrete. i dont think anything. nothing at all. how could i?

the policemen leave, because when they try to get me to come with them i stay in my spot, my legs underneath me, staring into nothingness.

"i love you," i whisper, so quietly my ringing ears can't hear it.

im sorry, Jimin. i hope you died happy.