At Least You're You. (Cevan)

Two: School Troubles

    (Warning: All my chapters include swearing, so watch out.)

  Connor spent half of his morning being grumpy and resisting the urge to smoke, and the other half worrying about Evan. He wasn't exactly sure where this sudden concern had come from, but it was eating him alive. "Connor, if you aren't ready, I'm leaving without you!" Zoe yells, banging on the door and shaking the handle. Connor sighs angrily. "Okay, I'm coming, calm the fuck down!" Connor leaves his bedroom and storms down the stairs, opening the front door and walking down the driveway to Zoe's car. He stands next to the car door until he hears it being unlocked. Connor hears the beep and open the door, getting in and slamming it roughly. Zoe grumbles something, probably something about him being too high to function despite his choice to stay mildly sober today.

The drive to school was silent, but Connor felt the tension in the air. His guilt over Evan had brought more thoughtful realizations, like the fact that his family suffered his wrath every morning of every day. Connor snapped back to reality when he felt the car stop. It was a thirty minute drive from his house to school. Had it been thirty minutes? He left the car, his bag slung lazily over his shoulder. Connor shuffled into school, keeping his head down while scanning the crowd. Suddenly, he spotted somebody he recongized immediately. Jared. Jared was a fucking asshole, who had happened to make at least three school shooter jokes in the first twenty minutes of class the day he took Evan's note. He also happened to be Evan's only friend. 

Connor, being the pessimistic piece of shit that he is, walked past Evan and Jared with his head bowed down, his hair shielding his face from any eye contact with the two boys. Connor, no doubt, was in a shitty mood. And for what reason exactly? Simple. He had pushed Evan. It was beyond clear that Connor's anger and annoyance was directed at himself, because he remained quiet and didn't yell at anyone in particular like he would have if he had someone else to blame. He could do anything however. This was his fault. 

He couldn't blame anyone but himself.