Butterfly • Book 1/3

9

(Listen to the song above when it gets to the bolded AND italicized words.)
•••••PLEASE READ THE IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AFTER THE PROLOGUE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.•••••

POV: Ben
1 week later

Lana was having one of her "pissed at the world" days. She got like this every so often back when we were together, and the best thing for anyone to do, was leave her alone and give her space. She liked her peace.
I took Lana's lunch- Chicken Pot Pie soup from Jason's Deli, per her request- in her room and sat it down beside her. She mumbles a quick thanks, but doesn't try to make any further conversation. I sigh, turning on my heel and walking out of the room to the kitchen to consume my own lunch -a chefs salad with a side of whatever their soup of the day was.-
Lana's been doing great, minus today. Despite all of the recent events, she's adjusted to life in Texas really well. I guess everything just came sort of crashing down around her today. I don't blame Lana, I don't know how she's so strong. If it was me going through what she is, I'd be a mess by now.
I finish my lunch and head towards my room to play guitar, but not before I peak into Lana's room. She's laying on her side, her hair falling out of the bun she'd put it up in. Her hands were holding the cover, which was pulled up tight around her, almost to her eyes, her mouth was slightly parted. The lunch I had set out for her is gone, and I sigh in relief. Usually when she had one of her days, she didn't eat. One time, she had a "pissed at the world" week, and she didn't eat but three times, no matter how much I begged her to. She ended up in the hospital in the mental ward because they thought she had an eating disorder. That was one of the worst times of my life, I almost lost her.
I smile as I leave her room, shutting the door behind me. Resisting the urge to lay down with her was rough, but I knew she just needed to be alone, for her sake as well as mine. She could get violent sometimes. There's always an underlying reason for her days like this, but usually she never revealed them, and you didn't bug her about them.
I grab my acoustic guitar and head out to the back porch. I would've played inside, but I didn't want to disturb Lana.

I take a seat one one of the couches, just outside of the door, and sit my guitar beside me. I run a hand through my unruly hair in frustration. I wanted to help Lana somehow. I wanted to help her be okay again, but I just didn't know how. I strum lightly, cursing every time I mess up. (Which, may I brag, isn't often.) A lightbulb goes off in my head (which doesn't happen often), which causes me to run back inside to grab my songwriting book. Lana had always love my voice, although I didn't sing too often. I decided it write her something, in hopes it would cheer her up the slightest bit.
"Ben?" I hear a soft voice whisper. "Are you coming in for dinner?"
I look up from my songbook to see Lana standing just inside the door, the light blue duvet wrapped around her, her hair no longer falling out of the bun, making it obvious that she fixed it.
"I ordered pizza for us." She mumbles. "I ordered what we used to get, I hope your taste hasn't changed. It should be here soon."
I stand up, grabbing my songbook and guitar, walking over to Lana. "You didn't have to do that, I could've cooked something."
"I know, but you've been out here all day-" I glance behind me to see the sun setting.
"I truly didn't realize I'd been out here so long." My stomach grumbles, quite loudly. "I guess I didn't realize I was so hungry either."
Lana laughs quietly and walks back towards her bedroom, where she puts the duvet back and makes her way back to where I stand in the kitchen. The doorbell rings before we can start any conversation. She insists on paying for the pizza, despite my numerous requests to pay.
"So," she takes a bite out of her Hawaiian pizza "what were you writing?"
I gulp and shake my head. "I'll tell you later, after we eat."
"Alright, that's fair."
"Are you feeling better?"
She nods her head. "A little. I guess everything got to me. It hit me all at once."
"I don't blame you. You need a day to just say "fuck it" and forget about everything." I chuckle. "I have a lot of those, trust me."
Moments later, we finish our pizza and i direct her back outside, where she takes a seat opposite of me. I sit my songbook on the table and pick at my guitar strings for a bit.
"If you don't feel comfortable showing me what you were writing, you don't have to."
I shake my head. "I don't mind. It's just extremely personal, ya know."
She nods, but doesn't speak, and I begin.

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you"

I look at Lana, who has tears welled up in her eyes. I put my guitar down and take her hands in mine.
"Alana Rae Medvedev, I'll fix you. I swear to god, I'll fix you.

(Song is "Fix You" by Coldplay. I do NOT own the song. All of the rights belong to Coldplay.)