Keeper

Chapter 41

I searched everywhere for Harry.  I really did.  I searched the stuffy crowd; the small living room, the beat-up kitchen, the front lawn even; he was nowhere.  My mind began growing rabid as I searched longer, as I searched in the places I already checked five times before again and again and again.  My mind grew rabid as I thought back to when he told me to relax, because now I was panicking, and it was all his fault.  I pulled my phone out and called him, no answer.  My mind grew rabid as I thought about the other places I had been too naive to check.  No, no, he wouldn't be,  I thought to myself.  At least not tonight he wouldn’t.  Not somewhere where I was so close.  Somewhere he could get caught, no, no he wouldn't do that.  He wouldn't cheat.  And this was actually the first time I had ever really doubted Harry, the first time I had ever really taken a step back and looked.  I looked at the teenage boy with the tattoos, the teenage boy who probably had made moves on girls while my back was turned because he could; because I was blind to it all, the teenage boy with more needs that just a cuddle buddy while watching some sappy 80s movie.

Then I went to my next open option, and I looked for Ben.  He was nowhere to be found, either.  I remember him telling us on the ride here that he had left his cellphone at home by accident, so that ruled that choice out right off the bat.

I hadn't realized I had been crying until I noticed everyone around staring.  Some looked annoyed, others looked like they felt bad for me, like they had some sort of sorrow.  Although I know they didn’t.  They didn't feel any sorrow.  They didn't feel anything at all beside the stinging booze running down their throats.  I didn't mean to cry, I mean I never cry.  Especially like this, no I never cry.

Next I thought about finding Sawyer, I thought maybe he could help me find Harry.  I thought maybe he could do the dirty work for me and check the bedrooms in place of myself.  I did search around for him, I did search for the curly hair much like Harry’s, and the stature much like Harry’s, but the blue eyes not at all like Harry’s—but I never found him.  Maybe he left,  I thought.  Yeah, he probably left.

So, as if I had much of a choice, I took matters into my own hands.  Downstairs, there were only two bedrooms.  One of them was empty and dark, and the other was occupied.  I bit down on my tongue and peaked my head in.  Nope, not Harry.  Definitely not Harry.  Next I went upstairs, up and up and up to territory I would rather remained unknown to my eyes.  The steps themselves were rickety and layered with a dirty, matted maroon rug.  There were stains of fluids I had never even seen before.  But I think one was blood.  Another might of been some kind of alcohol.  And this rug lead into this one long, slender hallway, exposing the copious amount of bedrooms.  There were four in total.  And all were occupied.  I decided I had a choice of my poison, so I chose wisely.  The first one I chose, the room was somewhat quiet.  When I poke my head in I found a girl looking back at me, here face was red, her cheeks stained with tears.  “Sorry, so sorry,”  I spoke before quickly closing the door.

When I turned back around I nearly bumped into the guy walking by, but luckily he caught me in time, gently grabbing ahold of my shoulder.

“What a way to bump into you again,”  He laughed.

“Sawyer—”  I spoke, hoping my dried tears were no longer visible, staining my cheeks.

“What’re you doing up here?”  He asked, jokingly wiggling his eyebrows.

“Just looking for someone.”  I answered, giving me a shrug.

He nodded back, then nonchalantly tipped the red cup in his hand over in front of him.

“Would you like to join me in getting another drink?”  He asked, throwing his thumb over his shoulder as if pointing at the staircase.  “I heard there’s a guy down there right now whose specialty is ‘A Flaming Blowjob,”  He laughed.

“No thanks,”  I answered.

“Oh c’mon,”  He nagged.  “He’s not gonna be there all night, you know.  This is like, ‘a once in a lifetime opportunity’ right here.  You can’t miss it.”

“I really shouldn’t”  I continued to persist, shaking my head.

“Ah, you're no fun,”  He laughed.

“I know,”  I sighed.

So as Sawyer headed back downstairs I chose my next door.  This next one was quiet much like the first, but the light shining through from the bottom of the door told me it was in use.  When I opened the door it made a creaking sort of noise, and as I peaked my head through the door I did not expect what I would see.  Harry and Ben, looking back at me.  There were just sitting there.  Ben’s hands folded in his lap, Harry’s hand wrapped around a red cup.

“Harley,”  Harry spoke, at first sounding impromptu.  But then he smiled, patting a spot on the bed beside him.  “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” I spoke, sitting down.  “Where the hell have you been, were you guys up here the entire time?  I tried calling you but you didn't answer.  What’s up with that?”

“Nothing.  Me and Ben were just talking, you know—man to man.”

“Man to man?”  I asked.  I heard Ben laugh.

“You know what—”  Interrupted Ben.  “—I’m just going to head back downstairs.  I think I’ll get a drink or something, talk to people—you know how it is.  Yeah.  I’m gonna go.”

“Way to ditch on me,”  I laughed, nudging him in the shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry about that,”  Harry spoke, wrapping his arm around my waist.  “After the bathroom Ben came up to me and wanted to talk, God only knows why because we hardly even got to speak to each other.  He was on the phone with his sister about some shit.”  And then he rested his head on his shoulder, his waves tickling my neck.

He looked up at me with at first a smile, but then he frowned.

“Have you been crying?”  He asked, sitting upright.  His finger traced under my eye and made it’s way down my cheek.  “You have, haven't you?”

“No,”  I spoke, adding a forged smile.  “Allergies are just being a dick.  Like usual.”

Harry gaped at me,  “Harley, you know I’m not that much of a dick, right?  I may be cold at times but I’m not that ignorant of a person that I cannot tell when my girlfriend has been crying or is upset—”.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard Harry call me that; his girlfriend.

“But I haven't been crying.”

“Don’t lie to me, Harley.  Don’t lie, God not to me.  Don’t lie.”

Closing my eyes I took in a deep breath.  “I couldn't find you,”  I answered.  “I checked everywhere I thought you be, but I just couldn't find you.  And you wouldn't answer your phone so I didn't know what to think, so—”.

“So you decided to check the fucking bedrooms?”  He asked.  His jaw was tense, and his stare was blank.

“Well you left me with no fucking choice, what else was I supposed to do?”  I shot back.

“I thought you knew me by now? I thought you knew that I would never do that.  Not to you.  Not to us.  Cheating is fucking vile, Harley, and for someone like you, someone who I thought actually understood me and saw who I am to even think that I would do it on you is sick, it’s absolutely sick.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t say I trust everyone I have met just a few months before—”.

“That’s rich, that’s real fucking rich coming from you, Harley—”

“And we’re just teenagers, Harry.  We’re just teenagers stuck in high school that are too stupid for real—”.

“Love?  Real love?  I can almost bet there are people who would gladly object to that—”

“So what the hell are you saying?”  I asked.

“I’m saying I’m in love with you,”  He answered.

“Harley, I fucking love you.”