Hetalia meets Hamilton

ｎｉｎｅ

'We could've been anywhere in the world right now, but we're here together in New York City.' Alfred quietly thought to himself. 'The meeting is still going on, and the issue on the table right now is how in the world my founding fathers suddenly came back to life.'

Alfred smiled. 'I'm not complaining, though.'

===

Hamilton's pride didn't last long, however, as yet another American founding father towering 6"2 stepped in the room wearing an identical magenta coat.

"J-JEFFERSON?!" Alexander seemed a little... Unhappy-- to see him.

"I would like to object to that statement. He wasn't always thinking of the people-"

"EXCUSE ME. NOW WHEN HAVE I EVER-"

"'Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...'
We fought for these ideals, we shouldn't settle for less.
These are wise words, enterprising men quote 'em.
Don't act surprised, you guys, 'cause I wrote 'em!"

"Wow. Salty much, mon ami?"

Jefferson looked at France and smirked. "Has anything about me changed, Francis?" He then turned back to the world to continue his story.

"Oww...
But Hamilton forgets
his plan would have the government assume states' debts.
Now, place your bets as to who that benefits:
The very seat of government where Hamilton sits."

"NOT. TRUE."

Jefferson rolled his eyes."Oh, if the shoe fits, wear it.
If New York's in debt, why should Virginia bear it?
Uh, our debts are paid, I'm afraid.
Don't tax the South, 'cause we got it made in the shade.

In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground. We create.
You just wanted to move our money around.
The financial plan was an outrageous demand
and it was too many damn pages for any man to understand!"

"I may not-a know you, but I-a like you already. Slay, b@st@rd, SLAAAAAAYYY-"

"Stand with me, in the land of the free.
Thank God we never saw Hamilton's candidacy.
Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got frisky.

Imagine what would've happened if you tried to tax our whiskey."

"Bloody hell, that frog-loving yankee just went there!"

"I know, right?" America responded. "Ok, ok. We've all heard enough. Now let's all get ready for lu-"

America was cut off by an arrogant Hamilton.

"Thomas, that was a real nice declaration.
Welcome to the present, we're running a real nation.
Would you like to join us,
or stay mellow doing whatever the hell it is you do in Montecello?

If we assume the debts, the Union gets a new line of credits- a financial diuretic.
How do you not get it?
If we're aggressive and  competetive, the Union gets a boost, you'd rather give it a sedative?

A civics lesson from a slaver, hey neighbor!
Your debts were paid 'cause you don't pay for labor.
'We plant seeds in the South, we create!'
Yeah, keep ranting.
We know who's really doing the planting."

"OOHHH!! How 'bout that burn, Romano?"

"Oh shut up, you stupid jerk-face."

"Ahh, that takes me back..." America flashbacked.

"And another thing, Mr. 'Age of Enlightenment'.-"

"Oh, he's not done yet."

Burr sighed and shook his head. "Typical Hamilton. Even after all these years- all these centuries, he never changed. His mouth is still running like there's no tomorrow."

"Don't lecture me about the war,
you didn't fight in it.
You think I'm frightened of you, man? We almost died in a trench, while you were off getting high with the French!"

"I regret nozhing from zhe time, zhough. I must admit: Monseiur Jefferson was an amazing drinking buddy." France recalled with his eyes closed; smiling. "Good times. Good times."

"Then the Frog Revolution came along-"

"aNGLETTERE-"

"Sorrynotsorry-"

"Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the president-
Reticent-
There isn't a plan he doesn't jettison.
Madison was mad as a hatter, like, son, take your medicine.
Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in!"

"Aiya, which reminds me: America, where's my money?"

America sighed sadly. "And still am..."

"Sittin' there useless as two $h!t$.
Hey, turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe FITS."

'OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!s' could be heard all around the room.

"DAAAAMN. That was some great live and literal 'Epic Rap Battles of History' $h!t right there."

Germany eventually calmed the world down. "Ok, ok. I zhink zhats enough American politics history for one meeting. Now who's hungry?"

Feliciano jumped up and down. "Oh-a me! Sí! Mi tummy is angry! Let's-a go!"

And with that, everyone agreed and eagerly went to lunch; thankful that this strange and peculiar 'visit' saved them from another day of boredom in a world meeting.

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[[A/N_Now before I forget, I wanna give a BIG shout-out and thank you to nordic-queen for the AMAZING new cover! <3 Please go check out her profile and give her some much-needed love! .3.

Thank you all! .3.]]