I Hate You, but I Love You!

Chapter 21: Friendship

I motioned with my head to the door, a teasing smile on my face in an attempt to get things back to normal. Clair shook her head and shoved her hands in her sweater pockets, walking in front of me out the door. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I closed it behind me.

"Friendly reminder that the exam is in seven weeks, people." Professor Hommer said as he slowly walked around the front of the room. "If you're curious as to what your marks are, I have put them up on the internet. A fine and useful tool, the internet." Everyone in the room rolled their eyes but immediately took out their laptops or phone. I did the same and prayed that I wasn't failing.

Brian actually did help me a lot in the two tutoring sessions we've had, but I haven't submitted anything worth for marks since we started. The grade I was about to see was all based on my incapability to understand math.

Swallowing, I waited as my computer loaded. I felt my heart start pounding against my rib cage and my breathing pick up its pace. I tapped my fingers on the table as I watched the green bar on my desktop fill until I was able of logging on and opening the website.

I took a deep breath before looking. My stomach dropped when I saw my grade.

"Now that you've all seen your grades, kindly get out of this room." Professor Hommer said with a passive aggressive smile.

There was shuffling and sounds of backpacks zipping as people started exiting the room. I suppose I did the same, although my mind was too preoccupied to really think about the movements that I was carrying out.

I was 11% away from failing. A 61% did not work for me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hated Advanced Calculus and I hated myself even more for taking it. I hated myself for being incapable of doing it.

I walked out the room with a sour taste in my mouth and a turned over feeling in my belly. As bad as it was, I wasn't surprised. The only reason I wasn't panicking was because I knew that I would raise my grade because of Brian's help. I was finally starting to understand things and I was confident that I was capable of fixing this. Otherwise, I probably would have been a puddle on the floor.

I started walking back to the dorm, picking up my pace because I knew that I would have to take the bus in order to get to work. I sighed again at the thought of my car, out of place and lifeless in some expensive garage.

Thoughts of everything going on in my life swam around in my head. I found it hard to focus on only one thing because then I would get distracted by another. The cool, gentle breeze would blow every so often, causing little shivers to run their way down my spine and further distract me.

I reached my dorm and walked up the stairs to my room. When I unlocked the door and got inside, Clair was already home, entangled in her bed sheets and seemingly crying.

"Clair...? Are you okay?" I said worriedly, hurrying over to her.

She jolted at the sound of my voice and wiped her eyes quickly. They weren't red and puffy, which meant that she hadn't been crying for long. A good sign, I suppose.

"Yeah," She said, sniffing. "I'm okay. Stupid post-breakup stuff." She wiped her eyes again and shook her head, clearing her voice. "I didn't know you would stop by. Usually you just drive to work straight away."

I nodded slightly, uncomfortable. "Uhm...yeah. But my car is broken, so I'm taking the bus."

"The bus?" She asked, as if it were a foreign word to her.

"Yeah." I said, grabbing my bag with my uniform in it and putting down my backpack. "Who knows? Maybe it'll be fun. There's always some kind of strange adventure awaiting on the bus." I said, saying the last part to make her smile, which succeeded.