Playful Melodies (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 24

Kabanata 24: Problems

Sa araw na iyon ay muling kinamusta ni Sir Mendoza ang kanta na dapat tapos na namin by the end of the month. Apparently, hindi pa ito nasisimulan ni Vivien dahil sa alitan nila ng partner nila. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang grade na makukuha nila niyan pero isa lang sigurado ako - kailangan na nilang magbati. Hindi lang dahil sa grade at baka bumagsak sila pero alam kong bago pa magkaroon ng suicidal thoughts si Vivien ay pipigilan ko iyon habang makakaya pa. Well, that was illogical and... exaggerated. I know Vivien is a smart and girl and she wouldn't even dare hurt herself just because of a boy. Lalong lalo na dahil kay Yohan na kilala bilang playboy. He doesn't deserve it. Hell, he doesn't even deserve Vivien. Sinaktan siya nito at pinaghinalaan pa. Pero dahil gusto siya ng bestfriend ko, wala na akong magagawa doon.

That was a normal day for the three of us at the cafeteria. Vivien is being her usual self like these past few days - cranky and depressed. Rick is busy munching his buffalo wings. While me? I was busy staring at nowhere. Like literally nowhere. Nasabi kong normal ang araw na ito dahil ganito talaga kami nitong nakaraang mga araw. This is our setup. Kung may pinagkaiba man, iyon ang nararamdaman kong parang pinipisil ng paulit-ulit ang aking puso at kung posible, kasabay ng aking utak.

I was actually torn.

I was torn between my feelings for Basty and my principles, in which, apparently, is going to be shattered with the steps I am willing to take. What should I do? Something that is right? or something that I want? I just wish that I can choose both. Sana yung gusto ko, iyon ang tama. Sana ang tama, iyon ang gusto ko. Pero alam kong hindi iyon mangyayari. I would never want another girl for Basty. Iniimagine ko pa lang ay parang winawasak na ang puso ko.

This stinging pain. Minsan napapatanong na lang ako, did I ever deserve to feel this way? Mabait akong anak, I didn't loathe my father kahit iniwan niya kami, I never had an enemy, I don't do drugs, I go to church, I pray, maging si Vivien ay sinabing masyado akong considerate. I was actually a good citizen of this country! Pero bakit ako pinaparusahan ng ganito? Just, damn it!

Or, is He testing me? Kung hanggang saan ang kabaitan na tinataglay ko? Because I know, everyone has their flaws. Kahit ikaw ang pinakamabait sa buong mundo, kahit kaunting porsyento, may kasamaan pa rin. Nobody is perfect.

It's because people have their wants and desires, and if you like something, it's mostly wrong and you shouldn't do it. Kumpara sa ibang tao ay alam kong mababaw lang itong problema ko. I want to fight with Basty but I know, it's wrong. If I chose to fight for it kahit alam kong mali, I would be the bad guy in their story.

"What are you thinking, Macy?" Ginulo ni Rick ang malalim kong pag-iisip.

Nilingon ko siya at umiling. Sumubo ako sa fries ko habang tinitignan si Vivien na ngayon ay sumipsip sa kanyang juice habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

Huminga ako ng malalim. I miss her. I miss Vivien so bad. Kahit nandito siya sa aking tabi ay namimiss ko na siya. Namimiss ko na ang kakulitan niya, ang kadaldalan niya, and as weird as I think it would be, namimiss ko ang pag-aasar niya sa akin tungkol kay Basty. Ang dami kong ikekwento sa kanya. I will tell her about Basty's so called fiancee, yung pagpunta ni Basty sa bahay namin... and about how Basty kissed me inside his car.

Oh shit! Nanlaki ang aking mata kahit alam kong sa utak ko lamang iyon sinabi at wala namang nakarinig. My cheeks went from hot to boiling. Iniisip ko pa lang ang senaryo na iyon ay pumula na na parang kamatis ang pisngi ko.

Nahagilap ng mata ko ang pagkatulala ni Rick sa likod ko. Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya at akmang lilingon sa tinitignan niya pero biglang tumayo si Rick at tinakpan ang aking paningin.