Playing With Fire

Chapter 14 - The boyfriend

Shahru eased his hand away and sat down. Even though he was on the opposite end of the couch he surrounded her—the warmth, strength, sensuality that was this rugged man who'd been there for her so much recently. Really he was right. The fiancé part shouldn't be his business, but even to her it felt as if it was. "I'm not engaged anymore, Shahru. Amir is part of the whole story I didn't want to tell you last night." Had it really only been last night? Amazing. She felt as if they'd known each other forever, as if they'd been friends for years rather than days.

"Tell me now."

His words were demanding but not harsh. How could they be in that gruff but hushed voice of his? "You have to understand my family a little bit first. My ancestors practically founded this little town. My father owns a large law firm here that his father before him owned as well. It sounds crazy, but not a lot goes on here that the Mukherjee family doesn't have a hand in. No one makes a decision without my father's stamp of approval. Money can do a lot."

Shahru exhaled a long breath and pushed a hand through his hair. Kajol ignored him and continued. "Anyway, my life has been run much like this town, if you get what I'm saying. I worked in the firm, even though I hated it. I lived at home, even though I wanted to experience life on my own. I fell in love with a man I'd known my whole life. The only man I knew my parents would ever approve of."

"Amir?"

"Daddy's best friend's son. I knew that would make things so much easier when we started dating, but eventually I did fall in love with him. Well, I think I did. Things have been such a jumbled mess lately I don't know what I'm feeling half the time." She'd loved Amir. Hadn't she? "I mean when I started dating him it was kind of because he was there, because he'd always been there, but I did fall in love with him. Marriage seemed like the next step." Now she was rambling, saying the same thing in different ways, trying to convince both him and herself that she'd made the right choice in agreeing to marry Amir.

"So why aren't you married? Or engaged at least?" Again he spoke with husky sincerity.

Kajol turned to face him, bending one leg at the knee and folding it under her. He watched her too, she noticed. His smoky gaze pulled her in, almost making her forget how difficult her next words were. "I walked in on him with another woman. His secretary, to be exact. How stereotypical is that? They were ... well, you know, in his apartment, in the bed I'd never even been in and I was his fiancé." Her voice had lowered to a near whisper.

His hooded eyes dropped closed, and he exhaled a heavy breath. Something about what she'd just said really bothered him. That much she could see. What a good man he was. To be that upset over her past when they hardly knew each other touched her.
His eyes slowly opened. "Sounds as if your ex is a real prick, Angel. Aren't you glad you found out now rather than later? That could have been your bed he shared with another woman."

Kajol sucked in a breath. His words were blunt but true. What would she have done then? Leaving him would have been even harder if they'd been married. Her parents would never approve of a divorce. Sadly, she probably would have let their opinion influence her. "Yeah, I'm glad I found out now. My parents ... not so much. They wanted me to forget it ever happened."

Shahru's lips pursed into a tight line. His jaw clenched as did the rest of his body.

"They wanted you to stay with the bastard?"

"According to them it was a mistake. They said he was heartbroken."

"Believe me. It's never a mistake. He would have hurt you again."

Before she could analyse his words, Shahru pushed to his feet. In three long strides he stood across the room, poking at the fire and keeping his back to her. He needed a moment. She sensed that, as if she somehow knew this man was more than just a brief acquaintance. His fervent stance told her he knew more on the subject than he would tell her. Each time she saw him he revealed another layer to himself without really showing her anything at all. He was both complex and simple, if that made any sense. Maybe her evaluation had more to do with the fact she'd never known anyone like him in the usual circles she travelled. She'd never known someone so uncomplicated and easygoing in some ways, but also guarded and complex in others.

She wanted to know more.

Without asking, she knew he wouldn't give her answers. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Who knew where this bizarre relationship of theirs would go. Honestly, she knew, probably nowhere. "That's what I told them. I couldn't believe they'd want me to stay with him, that they could wager my future so easily. I kind of lost it, Shahru. After everything I'd done to make them happy ... it was as if all I'd done was disappointing them my whole life. I just couldn't do it anymore."

The tenseness in his body eased when he turned to face her. "Good for you. A tiger Doesn't change his stripes, Angel. It's who he is. Don't set yourself up to be hurt."

His eyes darkened with a conflicted emotion she didn't understand. "Were you hurt, Shahrukh?" She couldn't hold herself back from questioning him.

As if she'd flipped a switch on his mood, he gave her one of his playful half grins. It didn't ring true. Not like the smiles he usually gave her. He hid behind it. That much she could see.

"Not even close, Angel. I'm the bad guy in my story. Even worse than your ex. Let's keep it at that."

Shahru struggled to emerge from the drowning feeling that bombarded him. He didn't want to go here with Kajol . His past was something he dealt with every day, but he wouldn't put that on her. He deserved to deal with this. She didn't. And he did deal with it. Each day, each year it became easier, but in the back of his mind the truth always lingered. Any given day he could fall, he knew that. He wouldn't risk her that way. He wouldn't risk anyone that way ever again.

Taking a couple deep breaths, he again busied his hands with the fire. The damn thing roared and sizzled, but he needed to keep his hands busy for a minute. She gave him the time he needed, even though he felt her curiosity thick in the air. He swam through that just as he had with the thoughts that overwhelmed him minutes before. Shahru looked at her, all innocent with her big, wide eyes wondering what he was doing. Why had he taken it upon himself to intertwine their lives? Friendship was one thing. He wasn't a hermit by any means, but this felt ... different.

Her pink cheeks glowed under the scrutiny of his gaze. That easily he smiled. Something about her made him happy. He knew his mum ...and knew Juhi would want him to be happy, and he would. At a distance. Getting too close risked her, and Shahru wouldn't do that. "So how did I end up your boyfriend in all this mess?"