Playing With Fire

Chapter 30 - Uncertainty

Kajol had the most amazing first day at work. She and Rekha had gone over some ideas for upcoming fundraisers, she'd met most of the staff and some of the kids who regularly came to the family center's after-school program, and Rekha had put her in charge of helping organize what the center would do in the celebration of the winter fair this year. She couldn't wait for that part. Since she'd been dropped from her position in the winter fair this year, this was the next best thing. Actually it was better.

Instead of driving to her apartment, she found herself taking the route to Preity's house. Last night with Shahru had been fantastic, sweet, one of the best of her life, but part of her feared seeing him again. The other half couldn't wait, but if she knew Shahru the way she thought she did, then he'd be working on an excuse to run from what she thought he'd started to feel for her. From the way she'd started to feel about him. It would be impossible for him to run from her if he didn't see her. At least until she could sort through the mass of confusion in her head. Which was where Preity came in. She had much more experience than Kajol with men. Not to mention she'd probably kill Kajol if she didn't tell her about last night.

She pulled her Mercedes up in front of Preity's medium-size home. When she'd been going to college, Preity had gotten her realtor's license. Pri, being a people person, excelled in her career. Kajol wouldn't be surprised if half the people who bought homes from her did it just because they liked Preity so darn much. She serviced primarily the upper class of their town, people who knew her or her family. Just like the Mukherjee, the Zinta's had lived in the town from day one.

A quick knock later, her best friend pulled the door open to let her in.

"Hey you—" Preity stopped dead in her tracks. Her penetrating stare pinned Kajol in place. "Holy crap! You did it, didn't you? You slept with Shahru?"

What the heck? Did she have a sign on or something? "How did you know?"

Preity laughed. "I just know these things. You're glowing, your cheeks are pink, and
you have the look—like you've been thoroughly ravaged."

"Thoroughly ravaged? That sounds as if you're telling me I look like crap."

Preity closed the door with her foot. "Hardly. I'm saying you look great. Better than I've seen you look in a while."

Well, now she was embarrassed. Sure, last night hadn't left her mind since it actually
happened, but she also didn't want it to be obvious. "Maybe I'm just happy because I had such a wonderful day at work."

"Pfft. Maybe you're just happy because you got laid. Come on, I need details."

Kajol followed Preity into her living room. She dropped her purse on the coffee table before sitting on the opposite end of the couch Preity sat on. "I'm not giving you details."

"You have to give me details."

Actually she did. She almost burst at the seams to tell her friend all about it, but she also didn't want to give away too many details. What she shared with Shahru last night had been ... amazing. It didn't feel right to share all those details. "Okay, I slept with him, but that's all I'm telling you." She didn't sound very convincing.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. I'm your best friend, Kaj. We're supposed to talk about stuff like this."

Kajol sat forward on the couch. "Well, then, why didn't I know about Mr. Black-hair,-blue eyes, washboard abs who lived in my building?"

"Please, that was just a fling. Like a one, maybe two-night thing. It's not even important. This, on the other hand, is a big thing."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I do. I'm good like that. So how'd it happen?" She popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth from the bowl on the coffee table. She wanted to open her mouth and let it all tumble out but somehow managed to hold herself back. "The usual way."

Preity grabbed her hands. "Just tell me this, are you glad it was him?"

Was she ever. Even though she had no idea where—if anywhere—this thing with Shahru would go, she couldn't bring herself to regret last night. Being honest with herself, she had to admit she wanted it to happen again. Jumping into a relationship right after Amir probably wasn't the smartest choice she'd ever made, but she wanted to see where this thing between them could go. Of course she had no idea if Shahru wanted the same, but she did. Their lives already seemed irrevocably intertwined. In such a short amount of time, he'd become her best friend. Her lover. "You have no idea, Pri. He was so gentle, and so thorough, and so ... hot!"

Preity started to laugh. "Hot is always a good thing. One look at him and I knew he'd be hot in the sack."

"Pri!"

"I'm kidding. All playing aside, Kaj, I have to ask. Are you falling for him?"

Kajol avoided eye contact with Pri, her eyes tracing over the room instead. She took in Preity's yellow walls, her sunflower picture collection, the photography that hung on the wall from her friend's little nature adventures. Preity really lived. She dated, had hobbies, a home, a job she loved, and at twenty-five, Kajol was just trying to get those things for herself for the first time. How sad was that? She hadn't taken the time to do, or really find out what she enjoyed, until now. Shahru was a part of that for her. A part of this new life she started to build. In her old life he wouldn't have had a place, but in this new one, she couldn't imagine her world without him.

Without his smiles, his confidence, his easygoing nature, his rough edges, and now
his touch, his feel, his taste. Was she falling for him? Heck, yeah. Had she already completely fallen? That part she wasn't as sure about. She would know, right? She'd thought she loved Amir in the beginning, but she hadn't. Would she know now with Shahru? "It's confusing. Everything in my life is changing so much, and doing it so quickly I'm not really sure exactly what I'm feeling right now."

"You like him a lot?"

"Yeah, I do. I am falling for him, but I'm scared. I could easily love Shahru, but I don't know if I should."

Preity curled her legs under herself on the couch and turned her body so she faced
Kajol. "We don't always fall in love with whom we should, Kaj. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. Just ask my mum about that one. You know your heart, and you'll know what to do, but please, be careful. I honestly believe Shahru is a good man, but I think he is haunted with a painful past. The last thing I want that past to do is come around to bite you."

She didn't want to be bitten, either. Coming through the whole Amir problem had been pretty easy. Shahru—that was a different story. "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't tell you that, sweets. Did you guys talk about it at all?"

"Well, before we went to my parents. house we'd agree to take it one day at a time. Then all hell broke loose, and Shahru handled it great. He actually pulled me from their house telling my parents I wouldn't be back until they learned to treat me with respect."

Preity jumped from the couch. "No shit?"

"Seriously. You should have seen the look on their faces. Once we got home I kind of lost it, and the next thing I knew ... well, you know what happened from there."

"Yeah, without any of the juicy details." Preity smiled.

"We did kind of reiterate the whole one day at a time thing first. Then he held me, and we talked the rest of the night." Kajol didn't need to look at Preity to know why she snickered. She heard her own voice go all soft and mushy when she talked about how they'd spent the night. "I think I'm in trouble, Pri."
Preity sat down next to her and put an arm around her. "You never know, sweets. It sounds as if Shahru is feeling something for you too. I think it all depends on if he can get around whatever's holding him back."