Playing With Fire

Chapter 51 - I won

"Just wait, Kajol, Hear me out. I needed to prove to myself I was really worthy of you. I know it might not make sense to you that I had to do that through Juhi. All along I knew it in the back of my head. If I never let go of the past, I'd never be able to have a future. The future I want with you. Sure I could keep going through the motions, keep pretending things were all good, but the past was still eating me alive, more slowly since I met you, but it was still there."

"You know, I should have gone to Juhi years ago. It's one of my steps, but I was too weak to do it. I didn't have a reason to do it, because I saw no hope for my future, anyway. Nothing in my life made me want to really have a future until I met you." He touched her cheek, making her turn to mush inside. "Your smile, your heart, the way you make me laugh and your strength gave me the strength I needed, Angel. The only way for a future was to let go of the past, and I did that. I went to Juhi and asked her to forgive me. I apologized for all the hurt. I was able to let everything go."

Wow. This was big. It took a lot for him to go to her. "Oh, Shahru. That must have been so hard for you."

"Not when the other option was living without you."

His lips pressed against hers, a slow plea to open. Kajol granted his wish, taking his tongue inside her mouth and giving hers as well. Each erotic play of his mouth tickled her soul deep.

God, she loved this man.

"Now, I need to ask your forgiveness too. I'm sorry I disappeared. I'm sorry it took. me so damn long to open my eyes, but they're wide open now. I love you so damn much I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll take me back."

Kajol leaned forward to press her lips against his once more. "No one is perfect, Shahru. For all these years I've been running too. I let my mother, daddy and Amir run my life because I didn't feel as if I was strong enough to do it on my own. It took you to make me see that I am. I'm strong enough for anything as long as I have you by my side."

"You're strong with or without me."

Yes, she was, but having him there—it made her, it made them invincible. "So are you, but things are so much better when we're together."

"I love you, Angel."

"I love you too, Shahru. Forever."

* * **

Shahru knelt down beside his mum's grave and placed a bouquet of flowers next to the headstone. The arrangement was wild, a mixture of different flowers and colours. His mum would love it. The bouquet reminded him of her.
Angel sat beside him. It took him a minute to speak. All these years and he was just making it here. He hated that, but he could do nothing about the past, he could only make sure the future was better. The future would be better. He knew that.

Angel grabbed one of his hands and squeezed tightly. "You can do this, Shahru."

He looked at her and smiled. Yes, he could. With her by his side he could do anything. "Hey, Mum. Sorry it took me so long to make it here. I know you probably know the mess I made of my life since you died. I'm sorry I let you down, but I want you to know I'm doing everything in my power to make it right from here on out. It's been five years since I had a drink. I'm not like him. For a while I forgot that, but now I know differently. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sure you'd tell me It's a guy thing and you're probably right." He laughed. "I remember that was one of your favourite sayings."

He paused, and Angel squeezed his hand again.

"Juhi told me she comes to see you. She's a special woman, and I hate that I hurt her, but she's happy now as I'm sure you know. I'm glad you had her all these years.
From now on you'll have me here too. And Angel. I wish you could have known her. You'd love her just like I do. She's a lot like you, mum, strong, beautiful and loving. She means the world to me. More than anything."

"I want you to know I'm going to do right by her. I'm going to do right by myself. For the past five years, I've tried to make myself believe I was doing that, tried to make myself believe I was living the way you would have wanted me to, but I wasn't. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason to."

Shahru stood, and Angel followed, still holding his hand. "We're going to go now. We're having dinner with Juhi and her husband. Can you believe that? I bet you can. You would have wanted it that way." Shahru kissed two of his fingers and then touched the headstone with them. "We'll be back soon, Mum. I love you."

Shahru walked away with Angel by his side. "Funny, isn't it? All this started out as a game. Who would have thought by pretending to be a couple, we would find exactly what we needed?"

"The game of love is pretty unpredictable. You never know when you'll come out a winner."

Shahrukh pulled out a petite velvety box and knelt in front of Kajol – she was shocked at first but knew what was coming.

"Marry me and be with me forever Jaan"

"Yes!" She couldn't hide her joy nor did she want to. He pushed the ring onto her dainty finger. Shahru stopped and pulled her into his arms. "I really did win, Angel. I won my life. I won you." He dropped his lips to hers and kissed her.

The End