Playing With Fire

Chapter 46 - Unfinished Business

Good God, he sounded just like her father. The man let her father's influence and name go to his head. "I want you to leave. Shahru is twice the man you are. He's honest and loyal." Amir laughed. "Yes, loyal. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone. I will not discuss his private life with you, but he is not the man you think he is."

"He's a loser. His ex-wife doesn't know if he's alive or dead. He broke her heart and left her. At least I'm man enough to face you after what I've done."

"Shahru is nothing like you."

"Fine, then you deserve what you get, you little bit—"

Amir didn't have the chance to finish. Shahru picked him up by the shirt and held him against a wall. "I've told you before, you prick. Say what you want about me, but don't ever disrespect her." Shahru shoved him, making Amir stumble backward. Shahru picked him up by the shirt again and threw him out the door. "I ever see you speak another word to her, and nothing will keep my fist from your face." He slammed the door, leaving a stunned Amir in the hallway.

"Shahru! I didn't tell him anything. I swear." Kajol stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her heart still hammered, but now instead of Anger
behind it, she felt pain, worry. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she betrayed his trust by telling anyone, much less Amir, his secrets. Actually topping that, she didn't want him to take any stock in what Amir said. He was already so insecure about himself when it came to his past she feared he would take what he heard to heart. In fact, she knew he would.

A nervous ache filled her belly. Her body was cold from his arms not returning her embrace. "Don't you listen to a word he said. screw him. He doesn't know anything about you."

Shahru's quiet, rumbling laugh vibrated through her, making her feel slightly better.

"I think I'm a bad influence on you, Angel. I've never heard you swear before."

She knew what he was doing, and this wasn't the time to make light of a situation.
"Don't, Shahru. This is serious. I know you, and I know what you're thinking right now."

Finally his arms wrapped around her too, but not as tightly as she would like. "You don't know me if you think I would think you told him about my past ... about the drinking."

"Maybe not, but I know you're thinking about the other things he said. I know you're hurting, feeling guilty about stuff that's in the past. Amir wasn't right about a thing he said about you today."

He let out a deep, familiar breath and rested his chin on her head. "But he is right, Angel."

She pulled away from him. He was going to run. She saw it in his eyes. After everything they'd been through together he was going to give up on her, on them.

"It's time you got over this. You say I made you want to live again. Prove it. Start living instead of shutting down every time you start feeling sorry for yourself." The harshness of her own words sliced through her as she knew they did him too, but he needed to hear them.

"I know that!"

It was the first time he'd really raised his voice at her. He didn't yell, but the Anger and pain forced the words more fiercely from his mouth than he'd ever spoken to her before.

"Don't you think I know that?" On cue he pushed a hand through his hair. "I have some shit I need to work through, Angel."

A slow crack broke down the center of her heart.

"I have to go. It's time I ... I just have to take care of something." His hand touched her cheek, sending Shahru's warm heat through her body. It still didn't take the chill off. She knew what was coming next. "I love you." He turned and walked out the door, shattering what was left of her broken heart.

She wasn't enough for him. Kajol fell to the floor and cried.

* * **

The pain on her face pierced his chest, but Shahru kept walking out of her apartment. If he didn't go now, he never would. They'd fall back into their comfortable routine until something else happened to make him come face-to-face with the past he still needed to bury, and he'd shut down on her again. He was tired of that life. Tired of not truly living but only talking about it. Tired of not feeling like that man he was, because he couldn't face the two women in his past he'd let down. Tired of hurting her over and over again, because until he did what he needed to do, until he shut the door on what he'd done, he could never really be what he wanted. He would never really be the man she deserved.

The man he wanted him to be. The man he knew he really was.

He knew that because of her.

The way she believed in him, how could he not believe in himself, if even just a little bit? She did more than just make him want to live again. She gave him a faith in himself, in life, that he never expected to feel again.

Shahru made a five-minute trip into his apartment, grabbing some clothes, his
toothbrush, and wallet. Juhi lived six hours away. He'd drive the whole damn way tonight, get a room, because it would be damn near midnight by the time he made it, and then go see her in the morning. He needed to get this off his chest. He just hoped Juhi gave him a chance before she slammed the door in his face.