Playing With Fire

Chapter 49 - Release

"Shahru took off yesterday, and you're just now telling me!"

Kajol let her head drop back against her couch. "Pri, I'm not in the mood right now for a lecture. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone yesterday."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Kaj. I'm in shock. Looks as if he turned out to be a prick just like the rest of them."

"No, he's different, Pri. He didn't set out to hurt me. I guess I just wasn't enough to make him get over the past." Tears began to well in her eyes again. She'd hardly stopped crying since yesterday. Though it had only been weeks that she had someone in bed next to her, she now couldn't sleep without him. She missed his warmth, the beat of his heart, his touches and gentle kisses. She missed Shahru. God, how could he have walked out on me like that?

"You know this isn't about you, right? Don't go blaming yourself. It's not you who wasn't enough."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I know this was his issue and not mine, but I really thought we had a chance. I never thought he would walk out on me the way he did, Pri, and it hurt."

"Aw, I know, sweets. I'm so sorry. Do you need me to come over? We can drink hot chocolate and toilet paper his front door if you want. That always helps me when I'm pissed at a guy."

Despite her mood, Kajol laughed. "You don't really toilet paper people's houses do you? Actually, never mind. I don't want to know."

"You're no fun, you know that? Seriously, though. I'll be there in ten if you need me. I know how much you're hurting right now."

"No, I just want to be alone right now."

"What did he say when he left? Anything at all?"

Like she had all night, she ran the conversation through her head. Her heart ached when she thought of the look in his eyes when he walked out her door. He'd been in agony just like she had. Her poor Shahru. Would he ever get over this past that plagued him? He loved her. She knew that. A person couldn't fake the emotional bond they shared with each other. "Yeah, he told me he loved me. That he had stuff to work through." Pain swelled in her heart. "Listen, I can't do this right now. I have to go, Pri. I'll talk to you soon."

"Promise me you'll call if you need something, Kaj."

"I promise." Kajol hung up the phone and buried her face in her hands. If she ever doubted leaving Amir, which she hadn't, she knew right now she'd made the right decision. She hadn't felt a fraction of the pain then that she felt right now. Kajol started to cry. She cried for herself, she cried for Shahru, she cried for the life they could have lived together. She cried and cried until darkness overcame her.

* * **

Kajol didn't know how long she napped. If it weren't for the pounding on her apartment door she would still be sleeping. Glancing at the time on her cell phone told her it was almost five o.clock. Still in her pajamas, she went to the door and pulled it open. Her parents stood on the other side. Both of them. This had to be big if her father had torn himself away to come. "Ma, Papa, now really isn't the best time." She wasn't in the mood to deal with them. They'd be pissed, but she didn't really care anymore.
Like always they bulldozed her and pushed their way into the apartment, anyway.

"Amir told me your boyfriend manhandled him yesterday. You will break up with that man, and you will do it today, Kajol. He is scum, and he's lucky Amir is so decent or he would file charges against him."

Her hands shook. An angry heat flooded her body. Kajol knew her eyes had to be swollen from all the tears she'd shed, knew her parents had to notice something was wrong with her, yet just like always, they didn't care. All the years of being walked on, of the hurt, Anger and disapproval swam to the surface. She didn't deserve this and wouldn't put up with it any longer.

"Ma, things are over with Shahru and I, but if they weren't I wouldn't be breaking up with him because of you, Amir, papa, or anyone else. In fact, I'd probably be telling you where you could stick it right now! I'm so tired of you trying to run my life. I'm sick to death of you and Daddy both trying to make me feel as if I'm not good enough."

"Don't you dare speak to us that way!" her father bellowed. "We raised you, supported you—"

She cut him off. "Don't interrupt me. I'm not done yet. Neither of you have ever shown me the love I deserve. You've never respected me or cared for me the way a mother and father should care for their child. Sure you've supported me with money, but that doesn't matter to me. Did it ever occur to either of you that just maybe you should take my side with the whole Amir situation? He cheated on me, for God's sake, and you couldn't care less!"

This felt better than she thought it would. For years her feelings had bubbled below the surface, waiting to overflow, and finally they had. She would always love Mother and father, but she would cut off ties with them before she let them continue to treat her the way they did.

"You're ruining your life. I won't watch that happen," her mother told her.