After (Sequel to Of Monsters and Men)

gone

Otabek's POV:

The last time I was in Kazakhstan, I was searching for my mother. Now, this is the last time I'm ever going to see her again. My body feels numb as they lower her casket into the ground, Yuri stands by my side, gripping my hand tightly. 

I want to run to her, tell her not to go. But there's no point, she's not coming back; she's already gone. 

When the burial is over, we go back to the main hall where the initial reception took place. A lot of relatives that I haven't seen in a long time or don't even recognize, come up to me, giving sorry smiles and their blessings. Except, I can barely hear anything, I'm too distracted by the loud pounding in my head. 

Ilhom approaches me then. He looks so much more weak and frail then I remember him, it looks like he's took more of a beating towards this than I did. "I'm glad you could make it Otabek." He smiles politely. 

I nod. He glances at Yuri, extending his hand towards him. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Otabek's father-in-law Ilhom; are you his friend?" 

Yuri smiles awkwardly, shaking his hand. "I'm Yuri, I'm, um, I'm actually Otabek's husband."

Ilhom's eyes widen slightly at him. "Oh-"

"I know my mom wouldn't have accepted our relationship if I told her about him, that's why I never said anything. I had a feeling you were the same as her." I speak up then. 

He looks at me. "Who you love is none of my business Otabek, just as long as you're happy. I'm sure she would have felt the same way too." 

I don't say anything back. 

"Well, it was nice seeing you." He nods. "You've matured greatly."

"Thanks."

I stand up after he leaves. "Do you want to get out of here? It's getting suffocating." 

Yuri gives me a worried look, but nods anyway. I take his hand and we walk out together. Everyone's eyes are on us, but I don't care. As long as I have him, I don't care about anything.

We walk for a while, the sun is beginning to set, tainting the sky a deep but brilliant orange. I stare up at it in deep thought as we stroll along, my fingers rubbing his knuckles carefully. Having his skin against mine calms me down, it puts my mind at ease. 

"Hey," He speaks up then. "Can we stop for a bit? My feet are starting to hurt."

"Oh yeah, of course." There's a bench nearby underneath a thick brush of trees, I lead him over and help him sit down carefully. He pulls off his shoes and spreads his legs apart, putting his hands comfortably behind his head.

"Pfft, I haven't seen you sit like that in a while." I laugh.

"Yeah, well people always told me it was disrespectful to sit with my legs wide open, so that's why I stopped." He smiles. 

I sit down beside him, putting his feet on my lap. "I miss Anja." 

He sighs. "So do I, but I'm sure my mom is taking good care of her so don't worry. She's an amazing babysitter." 

I smirk, glancing over at him. He looks at me too, our eyes locking. His strong, beautiful green eyes. They haven't changed since the day I first saw them. I put my hand on his cheek, studying him carefully. The day will come when I won't be able to look at him like this. One day he'll be gone just like my mother. I won't be able to run my hands through his beautiful hair, kiss his soft lips, admire his green eyes, or feel his warmth against me. 

A lump rises in my throat. I don't want that day to come; ever. 

"Hey, are you OK?" He whispers, putting his hand on mine. 

"I don't want to lose you." 

"I already told you Otabek, you'll never lose me-" 

"That's not what I mean." I look away. "I just, I always want to have you by my side." 

"I will-"

"Physically Yuri, I just want to be able to hold you and touch you and kiss you forever, I-I don't want any of this to end." I croak. 

He sits up and pulls me closer towards him. "I know, I know how you feel. But whatever happens will be inevitable, you can't keep thinking about it." 

I close my eyes. 

Inevitable. 

No matter what I do, I can't stop him from leaving me some day; and I can't stop myself either. 

"Open your eyes." He whispers then. I open them slowly. "Just live in the moment OK?" 

The moment? I look around, the sun has officially set. The sky is now filled with bright, beautiful stars falling above us. The lights of the surrounding city sparkle softly, a calm, comforting wind blowing around our bodies and rustling through the leaves of the trees. 

"Don't think about the future, just think about right now." He says. 

I look at him again. His hair has grown a bit longer, it's blowing around with the wind. His green eyes sparkle as they stare up in awe at the sky, the moon's light illuminates him; he's radiant like an angel. 

"You're so beautiful." I say through a soft breath. 

He smiles at me, the happiest smile I've ever seen him make. I don't think I'll ever forget that smile for as long as I live-it made me fall in love with him again for the millionth time that night. 

We take a taxi back to our hotel. I watch as he takes his clothes off and lies down beside me. He drifts off to sleep quickly, his laboured breaths sounding throughout the room. I lay watching him silently, stroking my fingers a long his body carefully. After a while my eye lids turn heavy. I move myself closer to him, putting my lips into the crook of his neck. 

Dreams of heaven and the stars overtake me as I fall asleep.