Remember Me? (A sequel to Holiday Of A Lifetime, a Josh Cuthbert fan fiction)

Chapter 2

Everyone on the table sat in silence and looked at me as the realisation struck me.

"Of course, you don't have to come sweetheart. Olly and Jaymi invited you but they completely understand if you don't want to go" my mum said kindly, looking at me carefully.

"You and dad are going?" I asked quietly, looking up at my parents.

They all saw me at my worst after me and Josh broke up and they were choosing their words carefully, not wanting to upset me. I smiled to try and ease the tension and I saw their shoulders visibly drop as they relaxed a little bit.

My dad nodded his head and I looked over at George and Lucy who nodded as well.

"I will think about it" I sighed, thinking to all the different possibilities that could happen at the wedding. If Josh brought his new girlfriend with him I don't know how I would handle seeing them together, her hand in his, dancing together, just like we had on the yacht months ago...

I shut my eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else.

My hands were by my side and I felt a nudge against my left hand, I looked down to see my dog sat by my chair, wagging her tail when she saw me looking at her. I smiled at her silly expression and stroked her head, "You can't have chilli girl" I giggled.

"Told you my Chilli is irresistible to everyone, it's just that good" George teased.

"Show off" Lucy giggled, punching him lightly in the chest.

The mood was lifted from then on in the room and the atmosphere became much more relaxed. We talked about our plans for the Christmas holidays and completely avoided any subjects that could remind me again of Josh.

We soon finished dinner and I helped my mum and Lucy clean up the table whilst George and my dad headed into the living room to play guitar together. I smiled when I heard them both playing the guitars and looked up at Lucy.

"They do this a lot" she giggled, "sound good though, don't they?"

"They really do sound good!" I said, turning to look towards the living room. We quickly cleared the table and loaded up the dishwasher, and I headed into the living room to listen to the guitars.

When I walked in they were just finishing up and smiled up at me and Lucy as we walked in.

"I'm getting good at this!" My dad said proudly, smiling at George.

"It sounded brilliant" I grinned.

But inside, my heart ached again. Josh and my dad used to get on well together, they would sit in this living room in the summer and watch the football; shouting at the screen whilst I would lay outside sunbathing and smiling as I listened to them.

I regretted spending that time away from Josh now, I wish I would have spent every minute, every second with him when I had the chance.

I sighed and sat back against the sofa, closing my eyes briefly. I felt Lucy nudge me lightly as she sat next to me and I opened her eyes to see her frowning at me. I smiled and sat up, shaking my head to stop her from asking any questions.

"How about I show you the dress I got for the wedding next weekend?" She asked brightly, but her eyes looked slightly wary at my reaction. I smiled and her shoulders relaxed. I had noticed that everyone had grown a bit tense around me lately, and I hated to see my family wary around me. But I understood why, I needed to pull myself together from now on, for everyone's sake.

"I hope you didn't spend too much money" I joked, standing up on the sofa to head up stairs.

We walked into her room and I still laughed when I walked in there. Before she had met George she had posters of Union J all over her room, now it was plain pink on three walls and flower patterned wallpaper over the other wall. As soon as we had got home from our holiday she had packed away her posters and put them in a box under the bed, not wanting to get rid of them, but not wanthig the embarrassment of George seeing her room covered in posters of him.

As I stepped further inside I noticed there was something new on the plain pink wall though, a huge black frame filled with pictures. I walked closer to it and saw it had pictures of our family on there, and holiday pictures. The four of us in Val De Mossa, the four of us on the yacht, the four of us at the water park...

A lump formed in my throat and I closed my eyes to stop the tears which I felt coming.

"Oh no, Lily. I'm sorry" Lucy whispered, "I completely forgot those pictures were up there."

"No, it's ok" I assured her, I shouldn't let myself get like this just over a photograph. It had been two months and I was starting to get annoyed with myself over my emotions.

I sat down on Lucy's bed and sighed, "I don't know what to do" I said quietly, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"What do you mean" she asked, sitting down next to me.

"I don't know how to get over him. It feels like I can't but I know I have to. Every time I see a picture of him, hear his name, think of him, I cry. I feel weak and I hate it. But I don't know how to change, how to forget."

We sat in silence whilst Lucy contemplated my words and she finally spoke, "You really, truly loved him, didn't you?" She asked, already knowing my answer.

"More than I ever thought could be possible" I said quietly.

"I'm so sorry it worked out this way for the both of you" she stated after a while, making me look up and smile weakly at her.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be" I sighed. I needed to change the subject as soon as possible before the tears rolled over my eyes, "Right, come on, show me your dress then" I managed to say as enthusiastically as possible.

Lucy smiled broadly and jumped up, opening up her wardrobe and reaching inside eagerly. She pulled out a beautiful beige skater dress with a pretty bow tying around the waist; it was gorgeous.

"Wow" I breathed, reaching up and feeling the silky smooth fabric of the dress, "it's stunning."

"I know!" She giggled, clutching at the dress and marvelling at it herself.

"I really want you to come" She said quietly, continuing to look at the dress and not at me.

I had to admit, the wedding sounded like it was going to be great fun and it would be good to get out and let my hair down for a day, finally enjoy myself. But if he was there, and if his possible girlfriend was going to be there, I don't know what I would do. I don't know if I could handle seeing him face to face again, especially with another girl. But it's none of my business anymore I reminded myself. How bad could it possibly be? If I saw him, I could just walk in the other direction, get out of the way. I didn't have to look at them, I may even surprise myself and have a good time.

I decided it was about time I started to move on with the rest of my life.

"I think we need to go dress shopping" I smiled and Lucy looked at me in surprise.

"You're coming?" She squealed, wrapping her arms around me as I nodded and laughed.

"We can go shopping tomorrow! Oh this is going to be so much fun, I seriously can't wait!" She said hurriedly, presumably before I could change my mind.

I laughed and pulled away, heading into my room whilst she ran downstairs to tell George and our parents that I was going to the wedding. I looked at my wall as I entered and touched the empty spaces where pictures of me and Josh had once sat, especially focusing on the largest space where I had placed the picture of the two of us. I had printed the photograph in a larger size and had sat it right in the middle of the wall so I could see it at all times. Now the large gap just reminded me of what I had lost.

I shook my head and headed to my desk, searching for the postcards I had received from friends from their universities when we had all started back in September. We had all gone to different Universities across the country and had all sent each other a postcard, a little joke between us all. I found my blue tack and began sticking the postcards to my wall in the empty spaces, making sure the areas were completely covered.

When I had finished I stepped back and looked at the wall, the postcards dotted around looked a bit odd but I liked it. I felt like I was finally beginning to get over Josh. It was a start at least.