te amo, louis tomlinson // on hiatus //

13;

hiiiiiii guys omg this story already has more than 600 reads wow and 69 votes [laugh my immature penguins] and i'm so happy bc that is so much more than i ever expected tbh and it's so surreal and i'm sooooooo happy and i love you all and a shoutout /again/ to my home skillet @giselle_4_lyf yeah you already know it. so yeah idk if this is gonna be short or long i'm just going with the ~flow~

* THE ITALICS IN THIS CHAPTER ARE FLASHBACKS OKAY OKAY*

-

GISELLES POV

blood dripped from my wrists, a pool of red falling down onto the tiled floor. i bit my lip as the pain washed over, subsiding at first, but then the pain got worse once again, but it was all internal. i felt hopeless, i feel incomplete. i never had a problem with being inadequate until i met him. he is my sun, my moon, and all my stars. the letter lie still in front of me, a splotch of blood on the middle of the page, messy cursive flooding the whole page. 

harry,

i want you to know that all of this is simply me. and no i don't mean it like in the sappy movies- it is all me. i've been through so much crap and it all crashes back down on me at times and i know you don't want to be around someone like me, i may seem like i'm fine but i'm far from it now. have you ever felt like everything was in control but it all just falls down on you at the end? i feel that way. all the time. i don't have beautiful words to explain everything i'm feeling, i'm just empty. i lost that spark i felt when i was with you, but i won't accept that. i love you- a lot. i know you don't feel the same way, so i guess it's easier to leave you be. thanks for being a light even when i'm at my darkness. i love you.

love,

giselle.

the last three words were smudged by tears, the ink dragging down the page. that was it. he hadn't bothered calling, texting, or coming to see me. another reminder that i wasn't needed any longer.

i was just a casualty. and not just to him- to everyone.

-

i sat down, emotionally numb on the couch. the fabric had wet tear spots on where i had lied down before, it was part of her routine now. just to sit and think. think about how she screwed up with the only person i've felt this strongly about.

"gigi, cheer up. you're killing my vibe." emma frowned, chucking a pillow at my head.

but i didn't flinch. nothing hurt me like losing him.

"alright, alright. cut the pity. if you really loved him you would go after him." she said firmly.

who was she to tell me that? she hid her love for louis for like, 4 years!

"you, out of all people, are telling me that? have you seen yourself!" i shout.

she didn't seem fazed by my words, at all. her eyes did soften and she sighed deeply.

"i know. i should've worded that better. but you're confident! you're fierce, tough, and brave! you both really like eachother so you should just go for it." she told me.

i looked down and played with my fingers, "but i love him, you know? i don't think he feels the same way." i frowned.

i look up at her comforting green eyes, and this whole time her voice was laced with hope. hope in me. it doesn't matter what a boy does, my best friend believing in me gives me a boost.

"i love you so much" i ran up to her, hugging everything out of her.

"i love you more." she winked, hitting my head with another pillow.

-

harrys pov

"are you ready to read it, mate?" my best friends thick accent rang in my ears.

"what is she gonna say? oh no, we can't be together, you'll hurt me!" i mocked a feminine voice and rolled my eyes.

"quite the other way around mate," he said, handing me the letter, "read it for yourself."

[if you don't wanna read the letter again skip this:

harry,

i want you to know that all of this is simply me. and no i don't mean it like in the sappy movies- it is all me. i've been through so much crap and it all crashes back down on me at times and i know you don't want to be around someone like me, i may seem like i'm fine but i'm far from it now. have you ever felt like everything was in control but it all just falls down on you at the end? i feel that way. all the time. i don't have beautiful words to explain everything i'm feeling, i'm just empty. i lost that spark i felt when i was with you, but i won't accept that. i love you- a lot. i know you don't feel the same way, so i guess it's easier to leave you be. thanks for being a light even when i'm at my darkness. i love you.

love,

giselle.]

my eyes widened, and i was agape.

"but... why? why does she think i can't handle anything she throws at me? why is there a fucking splotch of blood and why does this keep happening!" i said, starting off softly but ended in a shout.

he didn't flinch, just gave me a half smile.

"talk to her. if you really love her, you'll do whatever you can to keep her."

i sighed, throwing my head back and rubbing my large hands over my face.

i looked after at him and mouthed screw you.

-

my battered up knuckles knocked against the wooden door, blood streaks on the white wood when i removed my hand. i winced and grasped my bruised hand with my free one.

and i saw her.

her black hair in a messy bun atop her head, faint bags under her eyes, pupils dilated leaving a ring of brown around them. she looked like a mess. a beautiful mess.

i noticed she got thinner, she wore an oversized grey tshirt and black sweats. i smiled at her choice of fuzzy penguin socks. she gave me a small smile and gestured for me to walk in.

"im sorry i didn't read the note the minute i got it.. i don't know what was running through my mind." i apologized.

"it's fine really... " she was gonna add onto it, but her voice trailed off.

"i just have one question."

her eyes widened but she spoke a small "okay."

"why was there blood?" i said firmly, but still with an edge of sincerity.

" i was confused, and upset, and alone and things happen-" she said, but i cut her off.

"because of me?" i said in a questioning tone but i knew the answer was clear.

"no. i like to think it was because i was without you." she said, her voice small and frail as she looked down and wiggled her toes.

i was gonna speak but i was cut off when soft lips met mine,

and i knew everything was alright.

-

a/n: OMG GUYS ITS FINALLY A LONG CHAPTER IDK IF YOU GUYS WANT MORE OR NOT BUT IM REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE ITS OVER MY USUAL BY A LOT IM SO HAPPY I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT IK THERE WASNT MUCH LEMMA BUT WE ALL NEED A BIT OF GARRY TO FUNCTION ALRIGHT.

what do you guys think of this story so far? anything you wanna see more of? less of?

i'm open to suggestions.

just comment anything and ill pretty much answer.

love you all and thanks for 600+ reads again!

xo,

celia.