Our Beautiful Insanity

Chapter 21; Complications

Hermione's (POV)

Dear diary

Sometimes I feel like if my heart stopped beating this very minute, it would not have bothered me, or anyone else. I've never been scared of death, nor have I ever given it a real thought. Unlike me, many of my loved ones always seem to find death a blood-curdling topic. Despite it being one the most natural things that happens to the human body.

Personally, I find death to be quite a fascinating subject. The way we live our lives for many years, and then our body just decides it has had enough of all the gruesomeness this world has to offer and then it shuts down its own organs. Undoubtedly, it must be a terrible feeling to know that your own body is betraying you. Yet I think it's also something really beautiful about it. Floating into the unknown, all alone, without a single worry in your mind.

Some people believe in God, they believe in heaven. They believe in something better. I wish I had that amount of trust into something, that I could just know that there would be something better waiting for me. However, my mind isn't made that way, and no hope or desire could ever make me believe in something that badly.

I think we humans, are already living in heaven, or heaven earth as my favourite writer calls it. I just happened to have been send here as a wrong person, making this heaven my hell. The unattainable and the complicated things in life, are making this hell for me. God, the only thing more powerful than the belief humanity has in heaven, must be the feeling of being frightened.

So why are we so frightened, why are we always so scared? What is there really to be scared about? Everyone I have asked has answered the very same thing; death. So why is death so scary, when everyone seems to believe in something more than this life? They should be longing to get out of here. Yes, being scared is a human feeling. I have never felt what being scared really was until now. Now when I now love. I do not want to leave this planet, and I do not want to drift into the unknown all alone. I want to be with him, and only him.

Forever.

A tear ran down her cold cheeks and landed on her diary, making the word forever a bit blurred due to the ink. She starred at the piece of parchment a long time before curling it together and throwing it in the fireplace.

"Insendio." The words barley came out from her mouth. She watched the heated sparks turning her piece of parchment into black nothing.

Draco's (POV)

"You have been slacking with your homework boy," said the monotone voice of professor Snape. "Yes professor, I know," said the boy without a slightest care in his words.

"Is my class no longer amusing to you, Mr Malfoy?"

"Professor, it's still my favourite class, I just can't find the..."

"The what?" Asked the now mad professor.

"I can't find a reason to ever do my work; it's just not worth my bother." Never and by never I, mean never, had Draco ever talked to Snape in that way before.

"I see," said the professor right when the rest of the students entered the classroom. Draco watched as Hermione sat down at her usual place, next to Neville. He felt uncomfortable having him sit next to her, knowing his lack of talent in potions.

"The next weeks you will be working on a project. It requires everyone to give a great amount of attention to their work. To prevent you from not focusing I've paired you up with someone that will not make your attention drift away from the work."

Draco listened to the many groups, praying Hermione wouldn't end up with Longbottom. Finally, the professor called his name. "Mr. Malfoy and Miss. Granger"

Crap

A growl came from behind the classroom.

"Not again, you can't be bloody serious!

Draco turned to see the Weasel in full fury.

"Is there a problem Mr. Weasley?" Sneered professor Snape.

"There sure is!" Spat the git.

"Well... then let's ask Miss Granger how she feels about it, shall we?" Everyone turned their attention to Hermione who was currently starring down the weaselbee with those terrifying eyes.

"Miss Granger, is it a problem for you to work with Mr. Malfoy. Would you rather work with perhaps, Mr. Weasley?

"No professor, I will not rather work with Ronald." She sad while eying the poor git intensely.

"Then I see no problem, please sit down."

Draco didn't know if he should be happy or sad for getting to work with Hermione. He would get to see her almost all the time, but it would probably be torture.

"Every pair chooses one potion they both find interesting. You will be graded regarding how hard the potion was to make and if it was made right. Also, both will have to test the potion you choose."

As Draco looked to his right, he could see Hermione shifting uncomfortable in her chair. Suddenly her attention was on him. Their eyes locked barely for a second, but it was enough. Draco could feel the intensity of her deep brown eyes, almost looking right through his soul, making him feel fragile. Yet again.