The Ern Chronicles II

(15) The Ones Who Fool

Hey guys. It's me, Zern. And I would like to formally (or informally idk) wish you

HAPPY APRIL'S FOOLS DAY 2017!

okay, the wishing may be slightly inappropriate because like... it's April 3rd today. But then again -- I've been kinda busy with school (*cough*hoeseena*cough*) and sort of forgot to update this. but as i always say: better late than never.

So, April's Fools.

*hits blunt* I hate April's Fools Day. It's a chance for people to lie and still end up getting away with it. THIS IS WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES PEOPLE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY.

And yes, this holiday is somewhat controversial among other people too (I think?) bc sometimes pranksters kinda take jokes wayyy too far and fuck about things that shouldn't be fucked about. I mean it, kids -- please don't fake your suicide or something, not even for April's Fools. That's over the top, not to mention VERY UNETHICAL. I will burn you very harshly and not feel sorry about it.

I say this being a huuuuge hypocrite, to be honest, because my April's Fools prank this year? Wasn't exactly classy. And the prank Izzy and Hilda pulled was EVEN LESS CLASSY AND TOTALLY NOT OKAY. *side-eyes*

We all lied to each other on April's Fools because, uh, it's a day for lying. Obviously. One true accomplishment of that day was how we managed to make "hey guys" sound creepy because all our April's Fool lies went along the lines of "hey guys, I actually have three eyes" and "hey guys, I'm actually half egyptian" and "hey guys, I T-boned Obama last night" and "hey guys" -- you get the gist.

Some of our April Fools lies were pretty obvious, like the ones I just mentioned up there, but some lies were damn near impossible to think of as lies. Lemme brief you about our greatest hits this year.

STUMP #1: STARRING MYSELF AND SCARLETT

I've always considered myself an expert prankster. Okay, so I've had some really frustrating pranks played on me but then again, I pull frustrating pranks on other people too so it cancels out.

(I've never pranked Mern tho. This has been on my bucketlist for the longest time.)

So anyway, I'm a WONDERFUL trickster so I decided to showcase my talent on April 1st. I told Mern I wanted to screw with our friends -- and for some goddamn reason I ended up choosing a very weird lie to tell them.

I decided to tell my friends I was gay.

Yeah, weird, I know.

That being said, I'm the kind of person to secretly put toothpaste in oreos and feed it to people but I'm definitely not the type to lie to people straight-out. Yeah, I've got Mern to thank for my April Fool's prank this year. She motivated me to pull through with the lie.

Here's how it went. I gathered my whole squad because I had to make an important "confession". And then I told them I was kind of maybe into girls and that it would mean a lot to me if they'd be supportive of who I was.

Of course, some of my friends labelled this an April Fool's prank at once -- because I'd previously established my status as A Straight Person (Who Hits On Mern Only Sometimes). But then again, sexuality is fluid, so some of my friends were pretty doubtful but willing to be supportive.

And I was laughing through my tears because -- my mama taught me to look down on lying but like -- MY FRIENDS' REACTIONS. TWAS FUNNY. And Hilda even started to go deep about how it's okay to be gay and blahblahblah that's when I decided to drop the pretense.

I did get a total tongue-whiplash, if that is a thing ("YOU DICKWAD ZERN YOU CAN'T JOKE ABOUT SERIOUS STUFF LIKE THIS") and Mern took no credit for the prank we pulled, but at the end of the day it was worth it.