The Ern Chronicles II

(23) The Best Of Our Teachers II - Beena

Hi guys. <3 How's the first day of Ramadan working out for y'all so far? It's not been very great for me because I'm on my freakin' periods. Also notice how I'm trying to be "pure" by not cussing? :')

So this will be just a lil continuation of our last chapter about teachers. The only teachers we've not written about is our math teacher, Ms B, so that's who we'll write about here.

Ah, Miss B.

Honestly, if I ever get Alzheimer's one day and start losing my memories (I hope not), Beena would probably be one of the last people to fade from my head. It's been, what, almost an year? since we last talked to her, but she'd left a lasting impression and I can still recall memories about her very vividly.

Her full name is Beena Matthews. She had saggy tits and short greasy hair -- with the trademark side-drool webs at the corner of her mouth, of course. Those webs of saliva are probably the reason why random wet noises would come out of her mouth whenever she talked.

I remember how she had dimples and wore hooker heels. She also had half-painted nails and half-applied lipstick. Someone should really show this lady a proper YouTube makeup tutorial, because I think she'd appreciate that tonnes. :')

Beena had a thick Indian accent -- not that we blame her, she's an Indian after all. She would yell at Aila a lot, saying, "Aila, you are school captain, so be more serious in studies! You should be role-model to all other students, Aila!" Except, her Indian accent would make Aila's name sound more like "Eyeller." (And also: whenever Beena called my name, it would end up sounding like "Ruoobee" and not "Ruby.") Even to this day, whenever we want to talk to Aila in a disappointed tone, we call her "Eyeller" in an imitation of Beena.

Beens was infamous for her story-telling too. She would randomly tell us small harmless stories, like how her dad was a headmaster at some school, or how she used to sleep with her pet chicks (only in the most literal sense omg). But then, occasionally, she'd drop ... weird ... stories we'd rather not have heard. Like, let's see -- there was that time when she found out that we were studying human reproduction and got a bit perplexed. Apparently, she'd known "nothing about anything before marriage" (translation: she hadn't known sex was a thing before she'd got married) and she'd learned everything from her husband. She then proceeded to tell us the story of how she thought she was peeing herself when the water broke for her first kid. She'd apparently even gone to the toilet to try and finish "peeing", but she couldn't?

Hey, let's look on the bright side -- at least something like that won't happen to any of us, right? hahahah. Ha ha. Ha.

*shudders*

Anyway. Moving on.

Here's another thing about B: she was absolutely obsessed with finding the metaphorical fountain of youth. She'd do anything at all to keep herself looking "young" and "fresh." She once told us that she kept her hair chopped off because her gray hairs would be less obvious with shorter hair -- and I'm not even sure how that logic makes sense. The funniest part, though, is how she actually thinks she looks young. She was in her mid-fifties, if I'm remembering it right -- but she told us that she was only a 15 year old girl on the inside. Beena thought she looked like a young Shiraanee (that's a movie superstar from sometime back) -- and also told us the story of how her husband's friend thought she was his daughter because she looked ~so young.

Despite her being a total Weirdo, she was skilled at teaching and really cared about us a lot too. When I look back on the pictures of our prize giving night, I noticed that Beena looked as happy and proud as all our parents did. Like she was another one of our parents or something.

Izzy and I saw Beena recently. She was riding her red bicycle (which she used to plant trees on), and she still has short hair too. She's probably never gonna grow that out. :')

Anyway, goodbye for now. If you see any typis up there, just ignore them, yeah? And if you felt offended by any stuff we said, just skip to the next chapter.

This is the part where I tell you a nice song you can listen to, but THIS IS RAMADAN U HARAMIZ. GO RECITE QUR'AN INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO MUSIC. :C

Eheheheheh. Bye, and keep smiling. Love ya. ♥

-- Zern