Heya folks <3 Zern here. How are y'all doin'?
I've been trying to work on a chapter about our teachers back in tenth grade, but it's taking way too long to finish, especially since it's the middle of exam week. :") Well, the actual typing up won't take longer than an hour, but I gotta interview the whole squad and find out any of their personal experiences with the teachers. And then, I'll have to sort out all the little tidbits of information into meaningful categories and. Bleh. That's hard work, ya know? Can't get it done while exams are hot on my ass.
Anyway. Since that shit is taking too long, I thought I'd post a little list of facts about Mern. Takes a lot less time to write, after all.
Ok shoot: 20 TRUE FACTS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MERN.
1. She can suck 130 dicks per day.
2. Has a butt that looks like a flat balloon.
3. She's deathly scared of cockroaches, rats and cats.
4. She's my singing buddy! We totally groove to 1D tunes together. (This is how I found out how terribad her singing voice is.)
Back when we were a younger and cheesier, she even picked out Oath by Cher Lloyd as our song too.
5. Falsely believes that I have a gay crush on her. *eyeroll*eyeroll*eyeroll*
6. She fucks wolves. #WOLFUCKER
7. The beauty queen in the squad.
8. She called dibs on being the only one to call me "dumbo."
9. I've come up with some ~unique nicknames for her but my favorite is "grandmotherfucker." Stfu it's a brilliant name
10. She once called me in the middle of the night, WHEN I WAS SLEEPING, just because she was high and wanted me to entertain her.
11. It would be a huge accomplishment to find any of her derp pictures, because she refuses to pose silly in pictures.
12. I once wrote porn about her and her crush, just to gross her out. Spoiler alert: it involved peeing into the vagina and kissing away vomit.
13. Rings are her favourite accessories. #LadyOfTheRings
14. SHE BULLIES ME A LOT. (once I got so mad at her I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. That was when we were 13.)
15. We bonded on mutual hatred for each other.
16. She's most likely to say, "hmm."
17. She has a nice eye-crinkly smile and is talented at doing puppy dog eyes.
18. Her favourite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast.
19. Introduced me to the idea of sex when we were kids. Now, I'm probably one of the most dirty minded people in the squad.
20. She's actually an annoying 8 year old
Okay, that's all for now. I think I'll be able to finish the next chapter this Friday or Saturday. Exams would be over by then, so YAY!
And of course, the music rec for this chapter. Try listening to Lithium by Nirvana. Here's a fun fact about the song: it's about a man who turns to religion amid suicidal thoughts. It's kinda funny because religion saved the man whom the song is about -- but it didn't save Kurt Cobain, the very singer of this, who later died by suicide. ;-;
Uh, ignore my little geeky fangirl moment back there.
Okay, so anyway, I'll just put this down and go take a nap. Good night bbys. Keep smiling.
YOU ARE READING
The Ern Chronicles II
AcakLife is too short to be serious all the time. After a long time spending our time, laughing at god-knows-who, we took a break. And now, *drumroll* WE ARE BACK! This book is based on hilarious things that we came up with in class. Anyone who doesn't...
